For the last couple of weeks this day has been one that I've dreaded so much. It's the last day before we close on my Dad's house. Today is the last day that it is his, and from now on, it will belong to someone else. It's closure in the making and beyond my control.
Today at church as I worshiped with my kids, I was suddenly overwhelmed and taken back to all of the years of their lives as we knew it with my Dad and Mary Ann being a big part of their childhood and their adult life. I thought about how much he loved me and my kids and I felt such a peace come over me. I thought about how he impacted his whole family so much and how that love will carry us through the future as a family, and again, a great peace came over me.
I got lost in my thoughts as the Preacher talked about everything in the life of a Christian revolves around the Cross. I looked down the row that I was sitting in and I saw my children, my flesh and blood, their children, and their spouses sitting beside me in a Church that is spirit filled and united by God. I am blessed. Beyond all means. I am loved.
As broken as I felt when I was drawn into that Church today, I walked out feeling whole and pieced back together. Through all the trials and errors that I make as a human being and a Mother, my kids are there for me. They support me and lift me up when I'm broken, and they support and lift me up when I'm whole. Today they were my crutch, and I needed them to help me look towards the future with a whole heart. I needed them to meet me at my Dad's house and pray over it as it passes to it's new owner. Not one of them hesitated, and we arrived one car after another to that empty house that once was ours.
As my kids stood by the street, held hands and bowed their heads in prayers, they didn't care who drove by us or who saw them. They saw their Mother lead them in prayer for peace and understanding in our loss, to preserve the memory and lives of my Dad and Mary Ann, and carry on into the future as a united family. They prayed for healing and strength, glory and remembrance, and they prayed thanks for the time we had with them. We prayed blessings over that house on Sixth Street ... and prayed for happiness as we walked away.
My heart is whole right now. I miss my Dad, but I know where he is. He is not lost to me ... he was saved. My heart is whole right now, because I know God and because my children know God and I am so blessed to sit with them in that Church by the bridge where I can reach out and touch them or hold their hands. That Church that I can pray with them. That Church that gives me peace and comfort ... that Church that I share a row with my Kids. That Church draws us closer and I know that I am blessed. Beyond means. I am loved. ~ Tanya
I never knew how true the words were to the poem that my Dad wrote until we lost him ...
"you become the top limb ... when the limbs above you fall." ~ Keith I. Wyatt
(My Dad was Keith Wyatt and my Step-Mother was Mary Ann Wyatt of Mt. Carmel, Illinois. They died instantly and together, in a head on collision November 2, 2010. They were loved.)