Country Dreams (part one)

A continuation of the story, 'Modern Day Woman ... Old Time Man.' Click here to read it first!

Even though she had been in his house many times before, it felt different now that they were married. This was her home too. Her house to make a home. To make changes and turn this old farmhouse into a home for the both of them. Together they would blend hers and his, and twine their lives together.

He could see the changes coming. Nothing would be the same. This old house was no longer just a house to sleep in. It would become warm, inviting and full of love. He could see that changes were coming. Good changes. He prayed for changes that would bring this farmhouse to life again.

She divided her time between him and her kids. Not wanting her youngest to change schools his senior year in high school, she lived between two houses. Spending some nights with her kids, and some nights with him, and working in the daytime .... the school year flew by. After her son's graduation, they moved to Indiana for good. Jared moved with her and started college near by. They moved Joey into a small apartment and he started college locally. Only 30 minutes from home, but so far away. Josh and Juli were living their lives and on their own.

He was ready for her to live in their home full time. He missed her, but knew that she had a commitment to her kids. He wanted her with them as much as she needed to be. He wanted the best for them too. As they embarked upon a new path in college, she came home to him.

She was home.

Living here came as easy as if she'd been here all her life. she could hear the quiet of the night and sounds of the country, as she would just walk a circle around the house and through the yard. She had dreams. Dreams of spending her life here and raising another child here with him.
She was home. Home where he wanted her to be. His home. Now their home. His life was falling into place with her. Maybe they would have a child. Life would be good and she would be here beside him for the rest of his life.

(June 10, 2002)

Dear Von,

I was afraid to write in our book when we found out that we were pregnant again. I was so afraid that if something happened, I wouldn't want to be reminded. Then yesterday when I started bleeding I knew that no matter what happens, this is a part of our lives together and we'll get through it.

I want to remember this time and how happy we were about having a baby. I want to keep my thoughts about how you smiled and how happy this was making you and how much this would change our life. I want to remember the look on your face when you saw the beginning of the baby on the ultrasound screen, and I want to keep all my hopes and dreams and keep praying everything will be okay.

I am so scared and I can't do anything except wait to see what happens. I just want to go back to yesterday morning before this all started. But no matter what, I am still thankful I got to experience being pregnant with you, and that we created a miracle that can change our lives forever.

Yesterday, you summed it up pretty good ... no matter what happens, we still have each other.

I love you.

Tan

The little baby they'd created was not meant to be. Another dream was shattered, and two hearts were broken.

(June 23, 2002)

Dear Von,

This has been a difficult two weeks. Everyday I think about losing our baby, but everyday gets better for me. I am trying so hard to be positive about why it happened. As a nurse, I understand ... but as a woman and Mother, it's the hardest thing I've ever been through.

I'm so glad you have been here every step of the way. I know it was difficult for you too and still is at times. I am so glad we named our baby. I know that the name we chose is just for us to know, but it makes me feel better. The necklace you bought me to wear in memory of our little one is beautiful and when I touch it, I am reminded of how much you love me.

I'll never forget how it felt to be pregnant with you, and from the moment we found out, that baby was loved very much. I know God has a place for baby's that weren't able to be born, and he'll keep him in his loving arms.

I love you Von with all my heart, and there is no where else in the world I'd ever want to be, except with you.

Love,

Tan

His heart was broke beyond words. He was quiet and he too was hurting. In their old journal, he wrote to her.

(June 23, 2002)

Dear Tan,

I love you more today than ever. I know what kind of Mother, wife and friend you are, and I am sure what kind of Mom you would have been to our child had he been born. I know that he would not have had a better Mother.

Maybe someday we will know why he did not make it into our earthly home, but for now we will have to be content to know God is watching over him or her for us.

I love you.

Von

Fall was coming and her heartache was easing. The heartbreak and pain didn't hurt as much, but the twinges were there when a memory came her way. She was content with her family and decided that a child was not in their future. After all, she was forty-five years old and had raised four children. She'd done a good job and she loved them with all her heart. She would wait for grandchildren to come along, and all would be well.

Their first year together being married was coming to an end. She reflected back on how happy she'd been. She loved her home, her husband, her children and her life. She thanked God for all that he had given her and all that was yet to come.

He couldn't believe that a year had gone by so quickly. It was November and the crops were in. He was looking forward to a warm winter with her. He had always worked so hard and had been alone. But this year, his love was with him, and it would be good.

(November 20, 2002)

Dear Tan,

I want you to know that you are the best wife that I could ever hope for, and you are my best friend. You bring joy and happiness into my life. Happy Anniversary.

I love you with all my heart.

Von

She read his letter that he had written in the old journal that lay out on a table in their room. She had something to say to him too. She wrote her words under the letter he had written to her that morning.

(November 20, 2002)

Dear Von,

You too are my best friend.... the best of everything I've ever had in my life, I've had with you this past year. I love you so much and I know I am loved by you just as much.

On top of this being our first anniversary ... we also have the joy of having our child growing inside of me. Hopefully, next year at this time, he or she will be with us.

Happy anniversary and I love you with all my heart too!

Tan


All was well. The baby was growing, and together, they prayed and thanked God for the gift of life he was giving them.

... as always, be blessed.



Part two has been written ... Click HERE!