Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Equality .... and Triplets

Last night I had to go to Huntingburg to audit a couple of medication carts. (I'm a Pharmacy Nurse for those of you that don't know). Marlboro Man decided to ride along with the kiddo's since I'm not in that facility very long. He would take them to Wendy's for a "frosty" while I was doing my thing.

It wasn't quite dark as we were driving, and our little trio of terror was wide awake. We passed big trucks on the Interstate, we passed a few tractors, and we passed a few combines that the kids could see out in the fields. The boys love trucks, tractors and cows, or anything to do with farm life .... or anything that rolls on wheels. Needless to say, we made such a big deal about everything they were seeing and we were asking them questions about color and size and asking them if they liked the big red tractor, or whatever .... they were so excited and so thrilled. We made a game out of what we were seeing.

Quietly, Megan said, "Megan likes tractors too" .... in a little voice that came out of nowhere. She had been forgotten and left out. We had not included her in their game. It was all about the boys and all about boy things.

She knew that she had been left out. She had realized that, and had her feelings hurt. Never in a million years would I make a difference in one of my children. I felt like I had been slapped across my face with a wake up call that torn my heart out. I had hurt her feelings. I had set her a part from the boys and excluded her. It hurt.

I have to be so careful to treat them all the same ..... Equality! Everyone is equal. I have to make a conscious effort to always include each and every one of them in everything I do or say.
Megan made that very clear to me last night .... that I had made a mistake.

Every night I go into their room when they are sleeping ... I quietly turn on the light, I straighten up their blankets and remove the books and toys from their cribs. I gently lay my hands on each one of them and feel them breath. I watch them sleep and I pray for God to keep them safe and watch over them. They are individuals .... Equal Individuals .... they are Triplets! Three, but still yet One! Born Together .... Friends Forever!

Be Blessed,

Monday, July 30, 2007


This morning as I was driving the Trio of Terror to Daycare ... it hit me how very different life in the country is, versus life in the city. You would think since I've lived out here on this farm for over six years now, I might have noticed. You would think that it wouldn't have taken me six long years to see the difference. But it did. ... and I'm glad. Because now I think I appreciate it more.

After turning right out of our driveway, because my trio insisted, so they can go by the barns and see the baby cows. I noticed just how long and winding our road is. I noticed just how narrow and tree lined and just how green and curvy it is. I slowed down and rolled down the windows to let the breeze blow in on me and kids. The smell was amazing ... it seemed so clean. Why wouldn't I have noticed that before? I take this same route every morning, and I walk this road almost every evening with my kiddo's. Our narrow county road is almost a lane. I noticed the Sweet Pea in bloom along side the road. I noticed each Foxtail waving to us. It was as if time was standing still on our road. Nothing new or modern was in my view. I assume these trees have stood here for almost two hundred years. I wonder who planted them. Which one of their Grandfathers? Which ancestor?

I looked into every horizon. ... on my left, on my right and directly in front of me. Each horizon was farm ground .... precious farm ground that my husband plants each year. Farm ground that hasn't changed for generations. Farm ground that his Father, Grandfather and his Great-Grandfather planted before him. They set down roots here ... they started this dairy farm here. This is why we are here. This is Siekman ground. Our farm. Our home. Our roots. The place where we will raise these children. The place where they will raise their children. ... and so forth. Long after I am gone this will be here. ... and it will still be the Siekman ground. I suddenly became so amazed to think how long the roots here have already grown. It made me think of my life here on this farm. It made me wish that I had more memories of this place, or that I could have known the past Grandmothers of this farm.

I believe with all my heart and soul that the success to raising these children in our older years is to keep a simple life. Keep them honest, keep them rooted here, and instill in them the values and morals like the past Fathers and Mothers of this farm did, with their children. For the first time since they've been born, I think I want them to work this ground too. I want them to carry on .... I want them to have the kind of life that their Father had and still has ... I want them to be like him, and his Fathers' before him. I want them to live on this ground that is their heritage. I want them to be known and remembered as Siekman's. ... people that worked hard for a living and were honest folks. I want them to be humble and giving people ... just like their ancestors who gave them these roots.

Be Blessed,

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Have Camera Will Travel

I got up early today, hours before my little critters .... and cleaned my house. I got dressed in real clothes and curled my hair, then I even put on some makeup. Because TODAY we're going Road Tripping! We're going out on the farm, down to the neighbors and we're going to have a picture taking day! No one in our way is safe today! I am Have Camera Will Travel today!

I have been in this house for almost a week and have a GREAT NEED to get out ... or else Marlboro Man is going to kill me! I have recuperated and I am in need!

Most of you that read these words know that I live on a Indiana Dairy Farm ..... so far out in the country that only the flies can find us! It's a beautiful place to live and a beautiful place to raise kids .... so today I'll be out shooting the scenery and anyone or anything in our way!

Pictures will follow!
Be Blessed,

Friday, July 27, 2007

My Little Left Boob!

Yes, my boob! ..... the left one. .... the one I hate. ..... the one that worries me. I have had a mammogram every three months since 1996 for a lump. This lump hasn't grown, hasn't changed and is always in the same place. It always feels the same, and isn't tender or doesn't hurt. It's just normal breast tissue that is clumped up abnormally.

BUT, my boob burns and itches inside. Deep inside ... and it drives me nuts! to the point that I think I'm nuts! It doesn't hurt ... and I don't have any pain. It's kind of like I have a Mexican Jumping Bean in there shaking a few Maraca's! Kind of when your inner ear itches and you just can't get to it! I have repeatedly been to the Doctor .... had MRI's (now that's a story in itself and quite a trip ... to do a MRI of only your left boob, especially when it's so small you can't hardly find it yourself). I'll have to tell about that some day! I've been to a top notch breast surgeon in Indy twice and another breast specialist in Indy before that. I've had an awesome Radiologist to follow my case for eleven years now. They all say the same thing .... "don't worry about, stop touching it, and leave it alone ... it's nothing!"

BUT, I have this gnawing nagging feeling that they are wrong. These men don't know what it's like to have an intense burn and itch deep in the middle of your boob! Of course, they don't know what it's like to have a boob either! I want so bad to have trust in all the specialist that I've seen ... and I want to let it go as they say! But I can't. My gut feeling says not to .... my gut feeling says call the Doctor again. I've always been told to listen to your gut .... I'm listening! ... and my gut is yelling at me to listen closer and listen louder and listen now!

I feel like ..... here I go again! On Monday, I'm calling the Doctor again ... and I'm going to Indy again, and I'm going to get poked and prodded again with needles stuck deep into my left boob, which I hate! ... and they're going to tell me to LEAVE IT ALONE .... IT'S NOTHING! ... and I'll be okay again for a few months .... until my gut starts talking to me again!

Be Blessed,

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Spaghetti ... Spaghetti ... Spaghetti

My sister-in-law Janet just emailed me this cute little story. I just had to post it ... that's about how we felt when we got our triplets ..... two with meatballs, one without! Enjoy:

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write Spaghetti on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed. On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread...

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Have I Gone Header Crazy?

I think I have gone crazy! Crazy about PhotoShop that is. I have figured out the layers and how to make a header for this crazy blog of mine. I have had all of these headers on my blog in the last two weeks.

I've had three different headers on here today. I was told by Marlboro Man that "he insisted" that I take off the naked little butts of our triplets. He thinks all the Internet weirdo's out there would consider it porn. Personally, I think it's the cutest picture I have ever taken of them and I think he's nuts!

So their cute little buns will no longer be a header on this blog .... for now anyway. Once in a while you have to pretend to do what they say (hubby's). It makes them feel good and it makes them feel like they are in control and they are the boss!

After all, it's his money I spend ... so every once in a while I do as I'm asked. So this is it .... I've done what was ask of me. The buns are gone! Zapped! Like a Dead Bug ..... they've been squished!

The above header made it on here today for about three hours. It wasn't as if I didn't have anything else to do, except to play with headers all day, it's that I've been sick. Too sick to go to work because I have Pneumonia ... but not too sick to play. I was bored! The kids went to daycare so I could recuperate.
Marlboro Man walked in and caught me playing .... he snuck up on me like a sly cat and saw my blog header. You'd have to know the man to understand him. He's a very private person. He hates it that I post pictures of him and tell stories about him. But since he doesn't know my password, he can't stop me. He He! I tell him that "everyone" has a blog .... he doesn't buy that story, but since he's not computer savvy, he'll never know! ... and please don't anyone offer to teach the man, I like him just like he is!
Marlboro Man would never show his butt in public, and it's not frequent that he shows it in private. Therefore, he doesn't think I should show our kids' butts to the world on the Internet. Wonder what he'd think if I posted my cheeks on a new header? Think he'd laugh? Let me know, okay? I'm serious! Since I've learned PhotoShop ... you just never know what you might see! ~ (don't worry, it won't be my butt and it definitely won't be Marlboro Man's butt)
Be Blessed,

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

One Man's Trash ... is Another Man's Treasure!

Jared and Elissa came home yesterday to pack up his room and all his belongings for the move to Memphis. It was so sad for me to watch him pack it all up. Mainly, just knowing that he's really moving ......... it's final, he's going and I'm kind of happy for him! ... and kind of sad for me!

I have my moments when I think I'm really going to miss him. I still have little aches in my heartstrings when I think that he won't be coming in here every night and carrying on with his BS. He gives me a big string of BS... it's kind of his "thing" with me .... kind of a Mom thing. I know he's full of it .. and I know this is his way of saying, "I love you Mom!". He would tell me almost every night that I stink, or that I can't read, then laugh! He would bug me to death or grab me and hug me tight and not let go. It really sucks when your kids grow up bigger than you and are stronger! You're at their mercy!

As I watched Elissa go through his things to pack ... I wanted to do it for him. I wanted to keep everything that meant anything to him and pack it away for forty years or keep it forever. What I really wanted to do was to keep him little a little while longer. But I can't. He's married now, and they're on an adventure! As I watched her throw things away ... I cringed a little! Even over things that had absolutely no meaning. Things that I know were worthless, but lifetime memories for me. I think it's just a phase that Mom's go through.

The funny thing is, is that Jared isn't my first to leave home. He's my fourth child and I know that I'm not having empty nest syndrome because I still have two year triplets at home. But it's kind of like closing one era and opening another .... sort of like the end of the road raising my four older kids. I knew it was coming but was wasn't prepared and I feel like I've been slapped across the face and hurled off of a big cliff. Is that normal? I didn't know that cutting apron strings would hurt so much.

I have to perk myself up somehow .... so instead of being sad .... I've decided that I'm getting a NEW OFFICE! Yay for me! I'm going to have a place to leave out my scrap booking supplies, and all my beading stuff. My treasures will be everywhere! His stuff is gone! When he leaves at noon tomorrow ... I'm calling a painter and giving that old room a face lift. I'm going to decorate it just the way I want it ... and I'm moving in! I think I'll keep a few pictures of the kid hanging around!~ Just in case I need to cry again and just in case I get really lonely at night when everyone else is in bed and I'm missing him!

Be Blessed,

Friday, July 20, 2007

Why Do Females Have Meltdowns?

These are the culprits! It's all their fault ... and wouldn't you know it, they're triplets! They wouldn't cooperate this morning and all sit perfectly in this ice cream bucket. They wouldn't scoot over and make room for about seven other dolls, a blanket, a deck of flash cards, a My Little Pony, two baby bottles, a little fairy, three hair ribbons, a comb, a tractor, a pair of Kelcie's princess underwear and a straw! Darn those triplets!~ What's a female to do?
Here's Meg after her meltdown. After a complete "throwing herself on the floor and slinging everything everywhere meltdown" just because she can ... and just because she's two years old. Mainly, it's because she's female! I wonder if she knows the curse of PMS yet? ... or is this a sign of what's to come! All I can say to any potential two year old guys out there is BEWARE: this gal is wicked! She has pink claws that come out and can spit the word NO out of her mouth like she's possessed! The boys backed off and stood in awe at the circles she was spinning on the floor during her meltdown! Jay said, "Daddy, what happened? What happened Daddy?" as he was slithering away to the furthest corner! Sam just hightailed it and ran!

Guess what Daddy said? He said, "ohhhhhhhhh, she's just acting like a girl", and Jay rolled his eyes, grimaced and only said, "OHHHHHH" like he completely understood that comment!

Here she is after it was all over .... just like a good little female ... all smiles and wondering what the big deal was! It's over .... Zap! The End! Quit Staring! Go Away! I'm a girl! I'm entitled! Get over it! .... oh, and don't forget it!

Be Blessed,


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Our Morning Routine

Pretty much every morning before we take the kiddo's to daycare, they have to walk through the yard with their Daddy. He usually drives a tractor back home after milking the cows in the morning. This morning, they lined up and squatted down and just looked at that tractor like it was the most glorious thing they've ever seen. They talked about how big it was and that it was green, and it carried bales of hay to feed the cows in the barn.
Then Molly came and they got distracted .... time to pet the dog!

This too is our morning routine .... Sam runs and has to be carried back, and usually he's kicking and screaming and wants to walk! But we know Sam ... he'll run! ... and if Sam runs, Jay and Meg run too!

Be Blessed,


Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Yesterday evening we went over to one of the barns where the new babies are kept. There are nine brand new babies right now including a set of twins that was born two days ago. The calf's were very frisky and were bucking and jumping and running back and forth in the pens. .... they also were licking the kids hands. My kiddo's were loving it! Of course it helped that the calf's liked the sticky sucker hands that the trio of terror had all over them! I used to freak out if they got dirty ... now it's just, "ahhhh kids, it's only a little cow poop ... just wipe it on your shirt!" Sam doesn't have a problem wiping cow poop on his shirt, or anyone Else's shirt either! Sam also doesn't have a problem picking the dried flakes of cow poop off of Marlboro Man's shirt either! I believe that boy is going to be a farmer!

It doesn't pay to be born a boy (cow) on this farm. All little boys (except Whitey ... and he's going to be steak in a couple of years) are sold. Talk about discrimination! If you don't give milk .... you're a goner! If you don't have big boobs .... you're a goner! If you're not super mama cow and don't have not only one teat, but four giant milk giving teats ..... then you're a goner! ... And if you're born a boy (cow) on this farm and are lucky enough to stay, you're definitely going to get your nuts cut! OUCH!

Makes me thank God everyday I was born a girl!

Be Blessed,

COW LESSON: Did you know when a set of twin calfs are born, and one is male and the other is female, the female calf is sterile. They are callled Free Martins. In this case, on our farm, the heifer calf is sold along with the bull calf when they are a few days old.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Flashback: It's Been Two Years ...

It's time for a flashback! Time to reminisce and go back in time. Time to see what these kiddo's were up to two years ago. It's been two years since the trio of terror was this size .... they couldn't even walk yet. But I can remember how fast they could crawl. It was impossible to keep them all in one place. They were like like little bugs .... all over the place!
This is how we lived. In a gated community ... They used to stand at the gate and walk all the way around the circle. I can't count the many times I climbed over that gate. I also remember the day we took the gate down like it was yesterday. That was the day I was truly invaded! That was the day they found freedom! They haven't slowed down all ... in fact, they're still running out there somewhere! Time flies!

Be Blessed,

Sunday, July 15, 2007

What Was He Thinking ....

When I got up this morning .... I found this in my sink! WHAT WAS HE THINKING? I can tell you, that it certainly wasn't what I was thinking! ... I picked it up, turned it over, twirled it around a few times and even smelled it. I didn't find a battery cover .... it didn't vibrate or play music and it didn't have a note attached or directions what to do with it! At first, I was almost afraid to touch it because I have never seen one that big in my life!

Being the Citified transplanted to the farm girl that I am ... I think I instantly had my mind in the gutter. Not that farm girls don't occasionally get their minds down in the dirt, they do, I'm sure. But nothing like a city girl does. I know. I thought for sure that Marlboro Man was coming on to me!

I WAS W-R-O-N-G! He wasn't coming on to me at all .... he only wanted to know if I wanted to make pickles. He informed me that this long green thing is called a Cucumber and you eat them, and they don't run on batteries!

I'm telling you .... that man is going to end up in a jar of jelly yet!

Be Blessed,


p.s. I found these outside the back door .... should I hide them or make pickles? Let me know, okay? I'm serious! My life depends on it! Well, at least Marlboro Man's life depends on it, if you know what I mean!

These are called Cucumbers! Get your mind out of the Gutter! You eat them! They don't run on batteries! You make pickles out of them ... with Vinegar! Marlboro Man says so! Don't forget it!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Fried Green Tomatoes ...

Marlboro Man planted a big garden this year ... and he keeps bringing in sacks of these things! Long tender Green Beans! Enough to feed the whole county I think! Don't get me wrong ... I love Green Beans and so do the kids ... but what does he think I am? A Pioneer Woman! (sorry Ree!) You can visit Ree (Pioneer Woman) here.
After cooking Green Beans almost every single day this week ... I am getting no where fast. Marlboro Man keeps walking in every morning and sits a bag on the counter. The only thing he doesn't do is grunt like a caveman! I think he's testing me .... testing my stamina. I think he's comparing me to his ancestors who lived out here on this farm a couple hundred years ago. He's checking out my abilities. He's seeing if I'm capable! Capable of what? Enduring life on this farm? Or else he's comparing me .... comparing me to the only other woman he loved, his Mother.

His Mother canned and gardened and raised four children out here on this Dairy Farm. I just know that's what he's doing. He's comparing me to her! He's that kind of guy. The kind that truly loved his Mother and would like his wife to be just like her. I do have to say ... on "my list of highly admired people," Marlboro Man's Mother ranked up there in the top position. Even though I only knew her for a few years before she passed away, I got to know her well enough to know that she was one heck of a woman. I'd be proud to be just like her! Minus a few Green Beans of course! So I washed the Green Beans, broke them into little pieces, then got my handy dandy camera out and took some pictures. Some people I know might not believe me if I told them I was Suzie Homemaker today and canned all these Green Beans. I have proof now!
I stuffed them into these jars and put as many as I could pack in so I don't have to keep doing it for the rest of my life, or at least all weekend. Let me tell you, these babies are packed so tight the water floated on top!
Here they are steaming in the Canner right before I put the lid on ... I think I'll get 28 quarts canned today, and if MM brings more in tonight ... I'm going to scream! Isn't it enough that I married the man and bore him three babies at the same time? Isn't it enough that I gave up my weekly manicures for occasional cow poop? Isn't it just enough? Then, look what happened ...

I looked out the door and here the man sat ... surrounded by about 80 dozen ears of corn.

He says to me: "does this look ready?" Can you say, "can you put that off for about 3 weeks dear?" Does he think I'm superwoman or what? I've been up since 4:30 this morning and have about 44 more hours to go in this day before I'm finished with with all his garden commodities.

You guessed it! It's corn! Enough corn for all the racoon's in Gibson County, except MM made sure they didn't get any this year. Nope, he saved it all for me! He put a electric fence around the corn field so they wouldn't get in it! Obviously by the looks of our front porch and the back of his truck .... it worked! All I can say at this point is .... remember the movie Fried Green Tomatoes? Marlboro Man better watch out ... he could end up as Jelly?

Be Blessed,


P.S. Okay Folks .... I have to tell the real story now! Marlboro Man's dear sister Janet (whom I love very much), and who is just like her Mother, and her husband Mike came down this morning and helped do all this corn. They are our nearest neighbor and our right-hand man when it comes to helping us with the kids, or just helping us period. THANKS JANET AND MIKE FOR EVERYTHING ... one of these days when you least expect it, you're going to make it on my blog!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

A Long Walk

We went for a long walk this evening. We started out going to see the cows, then going to Aunt Janet's house, then on to the milk house and the farm. We only made it to the top of the first hill. Sam rode his cycle until he gave out and we hid it on the side of the road for his Daddy to come by and pick it up in his truck. Their Daddy came along and picked us all up instead.
As we walked, I stopped and let them get a little bit in front of me. It amazes me that they always hold hands and they always talk to each other now. I could hear them talking. Jay was telling Meg and Sam about a snake on the road and they kept looking on both sides of the road. I watched them weave from side to side looking in the ditch for a snake ... and they never let go of each others hand. They never found a snake either .... or we would NOT have been on that road.

Be Blessed,

Guess Who Finger Painted?

Guess who didn't finger paint .... Guess who did! Here Jay was just loving it! Can't you tell by the happy smiling face he has on here? (just kidding) ... he really did have fun, and THEN he saw the mess on his hands ... ouch, it was not pretty ... by the time he wallowed around threw a fit to get down, the paint was all over me and Jay definitely had to have a bath! But, oh what fun he had! Sam (below) played the smear game. He smeared it everywhere. He just pretty much turned his pretty paint colors to chocolate brown. I'm not sure if we are going to finger paint again until they go to the 12th grade. I think I've decided that it's messy and I don't like getting paint splattered in my hair, my arm grabbed, and my shirt slimed with paint.I like Meg's way of finger painting .......She just talked about it. At least 268 questions and most of them being, " why?" Meg is P-R-I-S-S-Y! ... and prissy girls don't get dirty! See?

Monday, July 9, 2007

Comforted by Daddy

Jay & Sam (and Daddy)
They weren't too happy here. They didn't like the group pictures, but they loved their Daddy coming to their rescue. There is nothing like open arms from a Daddy when you need a hug.
Be Blessed,

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Mr. and Mrs. Jared Eblin

Mr & Mrs Jared K. Eblin
It was beautiful. It was perfect. So are they. I love them both.
I'm Blessed,

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Rehearsal (Ouch!) Rehearsal Dinner (Oh-La-La!)

Rehearsal is over .... I'm not sure if it was a success or not! Six 2 year olds are in this wedding! Only one cooperated and that was the cute little blonde cousin of the Bride. My kiddo's (Sam, Jay and Meg) would not get in the wagons to be pulled down the aisle .... no way! Luke (grandson) ran to his Daddy (who is a groomsman), and Kelcie (grandaughter) screamed bloody murder until she was coaxed by the bridesmaids ... which that won't happen tomorrow when the "real thing" is happening! I just can't see all of the bridesmaids coaxing and clapping for Kelcie!

I think I should say .... "Let Us Pray!" right now and keep on praying right up until time of the ceremony.

Rehearsal Dinner was a big success! Of course that was my responsibility, and I do have to pat myself on the back. The decorations were beautiful and everything went just as planned. I read a letter that I had written to Jared and Elissa's Mother read a letter to her that she had written. We both thought that we would cry, but we didn't. I was SOOOOOOOo proud!

Then my son Joey spoke for a few minutes. He was funny, he was from the heart. He apologized to Jared for all the childhood things he did and he blessed their marriage and led us in a great prayer. He spoke on forgiveness and love. I cried! I couldn't help it .... it just came.

The food was catered and was just perfect! It couldn't have went any better! Thirteen more hours and this wedding will be over. I think I should go pray for my children and get some sleep. It's going to be a long day!

Be Blessed,

Friday, July 6, 2007

One More Day ...

Elissa and Jared
One more day .... then it's wedding day! I never thought being the Mother of the Groom was a big job. I was so wrong! One thing in my favor is that I have a wonderful Mother of the Bride to work with and a very wonderful Bride to be, although right now she is stressed to the "max" and we are avoiding her (just kidding)
Everything is decorated and is beautiful and rehearsal is in 4 hours .... so I off go!
Be Blessed,

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

I Love My Spanx!

I absolutely love my new Spanx! For those of you who don't know what a Spanx is ... I'm not telling! You'll have to Google it or check out their link. http://www.spanx.com/ It was worth every penny! But I can tell you that it is almost impossible to get it on by yourself! I bought "The Higher Power" Spanx! ... and I bought it a size smaller than what I thought I needed. That was definitely the sales woman's idea. She told me that it would suck me up 4 sizes and smooth out all my lumps. She told me that all the MOG's (Mother of the Groom) and MOB's (Mother of the Bride) buy them! She failed to tell me that it takes an act of God and Congress to get the thing on and pulled up.

I started out in the bathroom, but our bathroom isn't big enough for me to lay on the floor and roll around as I tried to pull it up ... so I moved to the dining room (after I made sure no one was in the house except me). I was huffing and puffing and grunting and groaning until I finally got the fat rolls and both legs into the cute little thing. After fifteen minutes I finally got it up over my hips. Sweat was dripping off of my forehead and my underarms were drenched! Then I had to reach around and try to get it up over my butt! I didn't have enough arms. I am not an Octopus ... I am WOMAN ... gently plus sized! Once up over the hips you have to get the thing smoothly pulled up under your boobs. That's where the Act of God comes in!

I admired myself in the mirror after all my efforts ... and decided that the saleswoman lied to me. I should have just bought a corset and tied the strings to the doorknob and slammed the door instead! It wasn't a pretty site, me in just a green shirt, my Spanx and a strappy pair of silver heels, with a red sweaty face and tears and mascara running down my cheeks. I leaned against the wall for a full five minutes to recuperate before I sucked it up and came in here to sit down!

Now here I sit in a Higher Power Spanx, and I have to pee. I am 50 years old! Women my age that have had seven babies, and three of them being triplets, have to go pee frequently. I know why the package says *Cotton double gusset (crotch) opens to make life easier when Mother Nature calls. Once it's on, this baby isn't coming off! The package says it's Disco tested .... dancing approved and says, don't worry, we've got your butt covered. That's quite a testimony! Oprah says she wears a Spanx everyday! I wonder who helps her get it on? I'd lose 40 pounds too if I had to put this thing on everyday of my life! Maybe I'll just call up Oprah and ask her if there is a easier way to pour my body into this six inch wide tube of tightly woven spandex.

I also think I forgot to mention that maybe the Spanx company has something here! I think my boobs are a few sizes bigger .... maybe it's just my belly misplaced! Either way, that's the only up side to this Spanx ... that and the fact, I can't possibly eat since everything that once was on the outside is on the inside! My poor organs!

No wonder they call it "Higher Power" ... it took a higher power for me to get this thing on. Now I'm in a pickle ... it's only Wednesday and the wedding isn't until Saturday and I'm not woman enough to do this again! Why oh why didn't I just go on a diet six months ago. I am praying to lose forty pounds by Saturday!

Pictures will follow .... (I promise! ...just as soon as I can breathe again)

Be Blessed,

Monday, July 2, 2007

Our Garden

Did you notice the heading to this post? It says, "Our Garden". That would mean that it's our garden. But Marlboro Man corrects me when I say this. He says, "Excuse Me!" "Who's Garden?"

Yes, it's his garden and he planted it all by himself, and he tends to it all by himself. But he didn't pick the green beans all by himself. He had help! Three helpers and a photographer! Four of us knocking down our tomatoes, our corn, our eggplants, our peppers, and our green beans! Four of us right there with him, reaping the rewards of his hard work.
Sam was really getting in on the action! He was picking the beans out of the sack and holding them up for the photographer (ME) to see. He was too busy holding onto his little blue cars to actually work. But he looks good and no one would ever know if I hadn't told you.
These aren't green beans. They're the beginning of our cucumbers. Yes, our cucumbers! I do know how to walk out to the garden and pick them and eat them all by myself. I haven't figured out yet how to hide the evidence, but I'm sure Marlboro Man will never miss a few here and there. Cucumbers are my favorite!Here's our green beans that I cooked for dinner about 2 hours after we picked them. I ask Marlboro Man how his Mom cooked her green beans and he said, "well they didn't have more meat than beans in them." Oh well, he didn't have to eat them ... I would have! Just for that ... I'm going to eat all his tomatoes and all his corn!

Be Blessed,