Friday, July 27, 2007

My Little Left Boob!

Yes, my boob! ..... the left one. .... the one I hate. ..... the one that worries me. I have had a mammogram every three months since 1996 for a lump. This lump hasn't grown, hasn't changed and is always in the same place. It always feels the same, and isn't tender or doesn't hurt. It's just normal breast tissue that is clumped up abnormally.

BUT, my boob burns and itches inside. Deep inside ... and it drives me nuts! to the point that I think I'm nuts! It doesn't hurt ... and I don't have any pain. It's kind of like I have a Mexican Jumping Bean in there shaking a few Maraca's! Kind of when your inner ear itches and you just can't get to it! I have repeatedly been to the Doctor .... had MRI's (now that's a story in itself and quite a trip ... to do a MRI of only your left boob, especially when it's so small you can't hardly find it yourself). I'll have to tell about that some day! I've been to a top notch breast surgeon in Indy twice and another breast specialist in Indy before that. I've had an awesome Radiologist to follow my case for eleven years now. They all say the same thing .... "don't worry about, stop touching it, and leave it alone ... it's nothing!"

BUT, I have this gnawing nagging feeling that they are wrong. These men don't know what it's like to have an intense burn and itch deep in the middle of your boob! Of course, they don't know what it's like to have a boob either! I want so bad to have trust in all the specialist that I've seen ... and I want to let it go as they say! But I can't. My gut feeling says not to .... my gut feeling says call the Doctor again. I've always been told to listen to your gut .... I'm listening! ... and my gut is yelling at me to listen closer and listen louder and listen now!

I feel like ..... here I go again! On Monday, I'm calling the Doctor again ... and I'm going to Indy again, and I'm going to get poked and prodded again with needles stuck deep into my left boob, which I hate! ... and they're going to tell me to LEAVE IT ALONE .... IT'S NOTHING! ... and I'll be okay again for a few months .... until my gut starts talking to me again!

Be Blessed,