A Wake Up Call

1988. This was taken twenty years ago when they were 4,5,6, & 7.

Today, Josh walked into my house and I didn't know he was coming. As he walked through the door, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He's twenty-seven years old now. I'm almost fifty-two years old now.

Of course I know that .... I gave birth to him March 17, 1981, twenty-seven years ago. Then I started reflecting, and then I got overwhelmed, sweaty and exhaustion set in. Long overdue exhaustion. Twenty years overdue. The kind that sets in when you have a wake-up call that says your're old as dirt and probably nuts too! The kind that brings you to a halt and your jaw hits the floor and you become catatonic for four hours and you drool. That kind. I had it today.

Then I looked around me, and it dawned on me when I looked at The Littles ... that Josh was just their age, not quite four years old and I had three more children younger than him. One every year for almost four years. That would mean if today was like then ... I would have three more kids younger than my triplets. Yikes!

Josh wasn't quite four by the time I had Juli, Joey and Jared. But I was young and didn't know what I was doing. But I did it, and I did it good. I listen to their stories now and I know that I was a good Mother to them then ... and now too.

Then I got old and should have known what caused it, but I was in lust and was determined to do it again. I had visions of one baby, and thoughts of one or two more after that ... but never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd have triplets. Three at one time.

But, I did .... and I did it good too, and I'm a good Mother to them now, and probably will be all of my life. I'll let you know in twenty more years.

The realization of my past life and the busyness of raising four stair-step kids then, hit me hard today .... and it dawned on me that those times brought me to my knees many times in my younger days, and it made me think about my life today.

Am I a crazy woman? Did I totally go and lose my mind? Am I literally insane? What was I thinking ....

I can tell you that it was busy back in the early 1980's raising four little kids ... but I can tell you that after I had my shock today and compared my life from years past ... I don't think I've changed that much as I've ventured into new motherhood again in my older and wiser years. I don't think it will be any harder than it was then. In fact, most days it seems a bit easier, and I would do it again in a heartbeat ... and then maybe some.

But maybe then .... just maybe I have a bit of Dementia and don't know it! I kid.

So what I want to know is ... what is your opinion ... you that are older, could you or would you do it again? ... and you that are younger, can you fathom a baby or babies in your late forties or early fifties?

Be Blessed everyone and leave me your comments and I'll comment back and we can discuss it. I'm just curious, and I promise I won't have a meltdown. Just kidding again! ~

Random Thoughts of an Insane Farm Wife

I stayed up way too late last night ... way too late. In fact, the night was almost over and the day was beginning for some people.

Being that it's Saturday morning I would expect that kids would have a built in ticking system that would make them sleep later than usual. Not here. Not these kiddo's. We're up with the cows on this farm and today Mommy is dragging butt.

Right off the bat I had a canceled photo shoot due to a misunderstanding, but it is rescheduled to tomorrow evening. So all is well in that department.

Marlboro Man started his day (after milking a herd of cows) in the garden picking Green Beans for me to can today. About 14 quarts I'm thinking.

Jay and Meg soon followed him outside at 7:30 to the garden, and was greeting by "Jax" the dog who was taking The Neighbors for a walk. The Neighbors picked up the kids on the way and off they went, and when Sam woke up, Marlboro Man hoisted him up and off down the road to join them for a French Toast breakfast. Man, you just gotta love the neighbors that love your kids .... especially when they have a garden full of corn waiting to be shucked and put up!

This gave me an opportunity for a cleaning frenzy ... and to blog about what just happened to me.

Here while back we bought a new snazzy new front loader washer and dryer with all the bells and whistles, and I'm still not used to it. It does a marvelous job, but of course I like lots of water and I trick the washer to the max. Now granted, it takes two hours to wash a load of clothes being that I change all the settings to the largest, biggest, longest, hottest settings available. I justify this by telling myself that I can do three loads in one and I'm still being energy efficient and saving water and electricity. Can you believe that Marlboro Man doesn't see it my way??!!

So, in the quiet of my house this morning I heard something up stairs. Something banging in the attic or a closet ... or somewhere above my head. I had this fear and just couldn't bring myself to go up there. Of course, I had just spent what few hours I had to sleep last night up there, and no one or nothing jumped out at me, but still ... I kept hearing something alive and moving.

I started up the stairs and decided for my own good, that I'd better call that farmer husband of mine just in case, and so that if something happened to me ... he'd come and save me. He didn't answer, and I couldn't make myself walk up those stairs! So I went out on the back porch with this fear washing over me to see if I could see him in the field on a tractor teddering hay. Of course, he was no where in sight.

With my heart pounding, I stood there and debated whether or not to just grab my keys and go on down to The Neighbors where my kids were .... when all of a sudden the thumping and thudding got louder and closer, and suddenly my entire being started vibrating with fear.

Just like me, my new washing machine had changed cycles and was spinning at a extra high speed RPM! But, Meg's tennis shoes are sparkling clean and snow white!

By the way, I am never staying up til 3:45am talking to the amazing Portland Granny on the phone again. It makes me delusional the next day!

Be Blessed everyone.