Sunday, August 12, 2007

Daddy's aren't Mommy's

Marlboro Man is babysitting the trio of terror today while I can Tomatoes. It's entirely his fault since he brought me in two big buckets of ripe red Tomatoes. I love home canned salted tomato juice and wouldn't miss doing this for the world. Now that the kiddo's are getting bigger, I have a little more time. Not much, but just a little!

His day hasn't been good. At one point I felt a little sorry for him, but I stayed in the kitchen and did my thing! I couldn't help from cringe once in a while or hold in a giggle at the things I heard.

Here's a little conversation I overheard from in the bathroom:

MM: Jay, do you have to pee?

Jay: I poop.

MM: Jay, do you have to poop?

Jay: I pee.

MM: Poop Jay.

Jay: I pee Daddy

MM: Sam, wait a minute. Jay has to poop

Jay: I pee Daddy. See Daddy.

Meg: Megan has to pee too Daddy.

MM: Sam, get down Sam.

Jay: M & M Daddy. Four.

MM: Jay, you can have two M&M's if you pee.

Jay: I poop Daddy ... Four.

MM: Sam, get down Sam.

MM: Meg, leave the toilet paper alone.

MM: Tan, can you help me out in here?

MM: Sam, GET DOWN NOW.

Jay: I poop Daddy. See Daddy. See my poopy.

Sam: I see. I see.

MM: Get back Sam. Get back Meggie

Tan: Von, you have three potty's in there .... use them.

MM: yeah, but only one of them flushes.

Tan: yeah, well, their butts never flushed ...use them.

MM: Sam, if I tell you one more time to get down ...

Sam: NO

MM: Sam you can't have M&M's unless you pee or poop.

Sam: ME potty. (naked by now)

Meg: Megan potty Daddy (naked too)

Jay: See Daddy, I poop.

MM: Tan, I need help.

MM: Jay bend over. Sam get down. Meg wait a minute.

MM: Tan I need help

Tan: My hands are in Tomatoes.

MM: Sam. I mean it Sam you're in trouble.

Sam: NO ... M&M's

MM: OKAY ... everyone can have two M&M's.

Jay: Eight Daddy. Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve.

MM: Everyone out of the bathroom. Come on. NOW


Fast forward to lunch .... which was mostly uneventful, since I helped him.
Repeat the potty time before nap time. (same story, except Sam pooped)

Then nap time. He resorted to bribery. He gave them some coins to put in their bank. He tricked them into going upstairs. Smart Man I say! He's learning.

Fast forward 45 minutes later and I hear him coming down the stairs.

Tan: Before you come downstairs, will you check and see if they're naked. They're having way too much fun up there.

MM: (through the monitor) Sam, why'd you take your clothes off? Come on Sam, you're getting pajama's on. Meg, put your pants back on. Jay, don't take your shirt off. Go to sleep.

MM: (after a couple of minutes with Sam)Okay everyone ..... lay down. I mean it. Go to sleep! Now!

Meg: (crying) Daddeeeeee, I droppa my lipstick!

MM: Go to sleep Meggie. You don't need it.

Meg: Daddddeeeeee ..... I droppa my lipstick!

MM: (through the monitor) Now lay down!

MM: (as he's walking down the stairs muttering to himself) SHIT!


Welcome to my world Marlboro Man!

Be Blessed,
Tan