~ This Journey ~

Tonight as I eased myself quietly out of my babies room, as to not wake them ... I stood there longer than normal and just looked at each of them. I thought about the things that I am going to miss in a few years when they're not so little, but still yet, they'll always be my babies, and still yet, I'll always remember these days ~

I think what I'll miss the most is the way I can so freely pick them up and hold each of them so close to me. It's as if they fit to me so perfectly. We're made for one another. Someday they'll be too big for me to hold against me, and I'll miss that. I know I will miss that more than anything.

I'll miss their little voices. Although I have repeatedly got them to talk into a cute little microphone just to always be able to hear those voices, I'll miss the sound of their "little kids" voices that spontaneously say the cutest things and only I can understand some of it ~

I'll miss the way they smell, and the way they sing to me, and how it feels when I rock them, and I'll miss every thing about them being little.

But, I'll never overcome the feeling of awe I have when I look at them and know they are mine, and I'm their Mother ~

I read this on someone else's blog, another triplet mom that is a photographer, "look around and pay attention to the little things ~~~ for one day they'll become the big things." How right she is ...

Be Blessed Everyone.

~ Forgiveness ~

After reading the comments from my last post, I sorta kinda figured out the consensus was to resort to bribery to keep the kids in bed since I resorted to bribery to potty train them.

WELllllllll, I sorta kinda did that! I'm feeling very ashamed as a parent, and feeling like I have lowered my standards as a Mother and quite possibly could have scarred my kids for life, or at least initiated a lifelong fear of rodents.

I can't hardly even type the words it was sooooooo bad! Please forgive me, but in my exhausted state of mind tonight, I told Jay that if he got up, a mouse might get his toes! He instantly crawled up onto his bed and sat in the middle of it with his little legs tucked under him until he fell over from exhaustion and went to sleep. Only once did he ask if the mouse would get him, and I couldn't bring myself to intentionally scare him or lie to him, so I calmly and dramatically shrugged my shoulders and made a very convincing face, then I looked him in the eye and quietly whispered "it might." He only winced and shivered once. I promise.

Unfortunately I can't say that I'm sorry .... and I'm afraid that same mouse might have to come back tomorrow night, and every night for the next seventeen nights. I will try hard to alleviate the fears I embedded in my child. Tomorrow night I will at least say that the mouse is cute, and I will add a few really good adjectives to describe him.

Thank you Lord for forgiveness, and I will pray every night for the next seventeen days for forgiveness .... for that is how many days I have left until it has become a habit for Jay to stay in his bed.

Be Blessed Everyone!

Triple Trouble and New Beds

I think we are going to be in trouble tonight! Triple trouble that is! We now have one of these cute little beds upstairs in the kids room. This is what Meg's new bed looks like. She's already seen it, but not in her room and not with all her worldly possessions piled on top. She is so excited and we keep telling her that this weekend she will be a really big girl and gets to sleep in her new bed. We shall see .....

They will be surprised when they get ready to go to bed tonight and their room has been transformed. I know that the first thing Jay will say is, "What happened?" ... Meg will say, "Oh My Goodness!", and Sam a.k.a. Earnest T., will start jumping up and down and look for rocks to throw! (just kidding) ... but I'm sure he'll start jumping! Then I'm sure he'll say, "Cool." That's the new word for this week! Cool! He is cool .... but I don't tell him that because I don't want him to get big headed and think he's really cooler than his brother and sister! He doesn't need any help in that department!

Here are pictures of what Jay and Sam's new beds look like! I think they're going to love them. We had a hard decision figuring out how to arrange them in their rooms. Do we put them end to end so that their heads are close to each other? Or do we aim them opposite ends and try to keep them apart? Personally, I think it isn't going to matter .... either way, we're in trouble!

Marlboro Man and I think that we're doing something wrong in the bed department. These kids just turned three years old two weeks ago and today we set up the 12th bed. Yes, we've had a total of twelve beds in three short years!

We started out with three bassinet like thingy's ..... then three large pack and play's that they slept in during they daytime .... on to three cribs and now we've moved on to three toddler beds! That's an overwhelming thought and I think we're nuts!

So I guess in a couple more years or less, we're headed for twin beds. I've already been googling sites looking for Princess loft beds and Camouflage loft beds. I think I need to start saving my pennies!

Be Blessed Everyone and wish us luck tonight .... I do believe we're going to need it!

Potty Update!

Saturday morning we started out with a bang!

We had three boxes of loot and treats and presents (no candy), and we did away with the M&M's. Each one googled over their box and touched and ahhhh'd over all their presents. They had twenty each, and they could see through some of the bags, and the other bags were like Christmas for them, bags and bow complete. While they were looking everything over, we told them that they could have a present if they pee'd in the potty and wore big kids underwear. If they didn't pee in the potty .... they could not choose a present.

We let them choose one present for enticement after they looked them all over. They were ecstatic, and I had my fingers crossed. Meg and Jay instantly had to go pee, and both got praised and we clapped and danced with them in the air and let them choose another present for peeing in the potty.

Sam, on the other hand, chose to pee in his pants. We only frowned and didn't make a big deal of it and told him when he was a big boy and pee'd in the potty, he could choose a present. It was 11:30 before Sam chose to pee in the potty .... and from that moment on, Sam pee'd on the potty and pooped too! He only had one accident, and that was while waiting for the potty, since they all wanted the big potty and not the little potty chairs.

Meg and Jay stayed dry all day and told us every time they had to potty.

Yes, I spent my entire day in the bathroom, and yes, they earned all their presents in one day, except for three. I had saved three for this morning to start the day off in the same manner as yesterday! Bribery gets you every where!

When you stop and think about it .... twenty bucks to potty train your kid! That's a piece of cake and well worth it. Maybe I should write a book on how to potty train triplets in two days or less! Sometimes I amaze myself .... ha~

This morning started off the same, and today everyone pottied and everyone has been dry all day. We even had the nerve to take them out to eat in underwear! Of course, we took along our little fold up Elmo potty seat in it's nifty little plastic bag. Everyone pee'd at the restaurant, and then we went to Sam's Club to poop. Community poop time at Sam's Club today instead of our usual Sunday afternoon free lunch with all the samples! Sam's Club has a family restroom, so we all went in, got out our Elmo seat and guess what? No one would poop! They all waited until we got home!

I can say now that my kiddo's are 99.99% potty trained and tomorrow they will wear big kids underwear to preschool and only wear a pull-up at night time for a while!

Yay for me! No more diapers!

Be Blessed Everyone!

Potty Training Weekend!

Starting in the morning ..... we are devoting our entire weekend to potty training! When I go to bed tonight I am going to pray for God to give me the strength to make it through the weekend.

I am ready! I have two baskets of little underwear. Ninety pair total. One basket for the boys, and a basket with pink underwear for Meg ... and a whole basket of treats to bribe them with.

You see, M&M's are not working. In fact, they are causing problems since the kids were outsmarting Marlboro Man and were loading up on candy instead of eating dinner. .... and since there are three of them and only two of us, and they can yell louder than we can, they were eating their fair share of M&M's several times a day.

I have my armour on, and I can do this! Today I went to "The Dollar Tree" store and got myself prepared. Everything in the store is a dollar, and I think I bought one of ever thing .... well almost. I bought 60 small items. Yes, that's sixty dollars, but we spend about that much in pull ups each week. I bought little cars and tractors, little animals, Cinderella's, pretty toothbrushes, little notebooks, mermaid lip gloss, new bowls and cups with Santa on them, and just about anything that looked enticing to a three year old. I bought nifty pretty little "present bags" and tonight I packaged all the new treats and put them all in a pretty big basket.

Here's the deal: NO pee in the potty, NO treat! Starting tomorrow we're going to the potty every hour on the hour, and they get to pick their very own present out of the basket. I have enough presents to take us through bedtime Sunday night. Granted, we're going to have a lot of cheap junk laying around, but come Monday morning, all the presents will be gone and we'll be in underwear.

This is serious business, and I do have one little minor problem that I need to fix. Somebody, and I won't name names, told Jay and Sam that they need to "shake it off" .... and being that they are only three years old, they think "shake it off" means shake their butts and they shake it all over the place! They shake it all over the floor, and they shake it all over the toilet, and when I tell them to stop, they turn towards me and shake it all over me too. I wonder who would have told them that!

Be Blessed Everyone ~

A Dream Comes True (Conclusion)

Click here to read from the beginning.

It was a long night, and Sam struggled, but held his own. They both sat by his side and touched his hand. He looked so tiny and so sick. She hummed a song, and he prayed for their baby. They had never held him. They could only touch him ever so lightly, and she couldn't even stroke his head. They wanted no stimulation. He needed to conserve his energy. He was fighting for his life, as she had done just a few short weeks before. So she hummed, and told him she loved him.... and she always would.

Miraculously, Sam held on. He was a fighter ... and he fought the fight of survival .. and he won. Over the next few days, he improved and came off the ventilator. He had never been held in his short life, and he was blessed with a loving nurse that night. She stayed over after her shift and held Sam for a long time. She talked to him and she hummed to him and she told him that he was loved.

Very early the next morning, they received a phone call from the hospital, and their hearts stopped in their chest. But this time, it was good news telling them that Sam was no longer on a ventilator and he was doing good. He was on C-Pap and they could hold him. Together they praised God and let the tears flow as they hurried to the hospital to hold him.

It would be three more weeks before they would bring their babies home. They had to learn how to suck, swallow and breath at the same time, and had to grow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(November 30, 2004)

Dear Von,

Today Jay came home from the hospital. It was hard to leave Sam and Meggie behind, but it's exciting to finally be bringing them home, even if it is one at a time. I wonder what it's going to be like from now on .... are you scared? I am.

Love,

Tan

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(December 4, 2004)

Dear Von,

Today Megan made it home. I couldn't hardly stand to walk out that door and leave Sam there, but I know he is just a few days away from joining us. I am so tired of running back and forth to the hospital. I am just looking forward being home with you and our babies.

I love you Von,

Tan

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(December 7, 2004)

Dear Von,

Sam is home. We are all together again. I never thought I would see this day. We are truly blessed.

Love,

Tan

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

All within seven days, their babies had come home. Jay first, then Meg, and finally Sam. All three were on monitors and Sam on Oxygen. The Doctors had told them that Sam would probably be on oxygen for life, or for a very long time. But he proved them wrong. After only two months, he no longer needed it, and the miracle is, that Sam never got sick.

Through the months, they grew and were so healthy. The little boy that the Doctor's said wouldn't live, was the healthiest of them all. He led the pack in all aspects ... and the little boy that they said wouldn't have a normal life walked in the intensive care unit on his first birthday with his little bare feet... and they all cheered for him with tears in their eyes. A perfect little miracle named Sam. She knows in her heart that Sam knows that God held him when she couldn't.

Their three little miracles have grown and are the joys of their lives. God had a plan, and their dream came true .... he became a Father, and she became their Mother.

Be Blessed Everyone ~

A new story is brewing ... one of laughter, one of love and one of tales over the past three years of raising triplets!

Desperation ~

I had a plan tonight. It was a bad plan, but it worked. We certainly don't want to start anything here, but I had to sleep for just a few minutes.

Marlboro Man gave the kiddo's a bath while I cleaned up dinner and the kitchen. Then I went into action. We were going to play, "daycare." Yes, my plan was going to work. MM was skeptical. Actually he was totally against it, but he gave in.

See, at daycare, these kiddo's follow their peers ... and they listen to Miss Patty. They are perfectly well behaved little beings. At home, they are referred to as the 'trio of terror.' They are totally in charge of us. Three of them against the two of us. We mind them well. Megan can shriek worse than a howling coyote when she wants something, and I'm sure if I don't give in to her ... she's going to break the dishes with her pitch. Sam is coming in at a close second and we can't take it. Jay just bawls like a newborn calf and is very persistent while hanging onto your legs. We have to take charge again, and we're trying to figure out how to do it. But we have to sleep sometime. This turning three thing is getting to us ... nothing can keep them down.

So, we played daycare tonight. I was Miss Patty and it was nap time. I put all their lovies on the couch and put one at each end and a big soft pallet on the floor for Jay. I turned off the lights and put all the couch cushions on the floor in front of the couch, and I laid down on them and supervised Sam and Meg.

Marlboro Man on the other hand, laid down by Jay and was in charge of him. Every few minutes I would say .... "ah-ah-ah-ah" and then it would be total silence. Jay and Meg fell asleep, but Sam was still going strong. He somehow had stepped over me and gotten a toy drill and toy screw and was sitting on the couch with a pair of toy goggles on fixing things and grinning at me.

THEN, I fell asleep. And, I snored. And, my neck got a crick in it. And, my leg cramped up. And, my back was hurting. And, I decided I'm too old to play daycare.

So, all humped over and in pain we carried them upstairs and laid them down. Sam took his tools to bed with him. I heard him reconstructing his bed for about 30 minutes before he finally went to sleep.

SO, I figured out how to get them to sleep and me take a nap at the same time ... only I'm too old to play 'daycare.'

Anyone have any ideas how to get this mess of trouble to go to sleep at night? So far, not much is working!

Be Blessed Everyone ~

A Dream Comes True (Part Three)

To start at the beginning, click here.

He was exhausted and could hardly go on. Harvest was in full swing and he was spending his days on the farm, and his evenings and into the night, with her. The babies were okay and so was she. All had survived.

She was no longer in a daze, and two weeks had gone by and she wanted to go home. Even though the plan was for her to stay until she delivered, the Doctor let her go home. Everything looked good and she would be in a hospital bed with monitoring at home. She was twenty-nine weeks pregnant and no sign of pre-term labor. Everything looked good, and she needed a change. She needed to go home.

Home was so good. Even though she was wasn't able to take care of herself, she was finally home. Determination to stay there, and determination to stay pregnant, bought her another two weeks.

Even though she knew she shouldn't, she had to sleep in her own bed. He helped her up the stairs. It had been a long time since she had slept with him, and she missed him. They had always held hands before they fell asleep since they'd been together, and she missed it. For the first time in months, she slept good.

In the night, she awoke to total wetness. She felt it as it came in waves. She knew it was time to have her babies. He felt the wetness too and was instantly awake. Nervousness overtook excitement due to the fact that she was 30.6 weeks pregnant and they were still very premature. This trip to the hospital would be the final one for her. Ready or not, they were coming.

As they rolled her bed into the surgery room, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Along one wall, there were three stations set up, one for each baby. A tag hung from the top of each Incubator, Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C. Shortly, they would be here. A surgical team, a team for each baby, a respiratory team, and two Neonatologist were present and scrubbed and in the room. Almost thirty people were lined against all the walls. Little did she know, they had practiced for this birth. They all knew their job and all would go well.

With both of their families there, in the mid morning of October 17, 2004, her babies were born. All, one minute apart. Megan Grace first, then Jay Wyatt, followed by Samuel Von. One by one, she heard them cry. One by one, she quickly saw her babies as they took them to intensive care. It would be several hours before she could see them again.

She was told that all three of them were on a ventilator. All three were critical, but stable. As a nurse she knew this was common. They were premature, they needed a boost for now, but they would be okay.

It was finally over, and she felt instant relief. She could literally breath again, and she had pulled it off. She did it! They were here. Very small and holding their own, and so beautiful!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(November 3, 2004)

Dear Von,

It's been a long time since I've written in our book. As I look back over the last three months, it's almost like a bad memory, what I can remember of it. I feel very lucky to be here with you and I hop I never get that sick again. But we now have three beautiful babies. I wish I could have written in here the day they were born, but at least I am here to write to now. Megan Grace was born at 10:41am, was 2# 15oz and was 15.5" long. Jay Wyatt was born at 10:42am, and was 3# 8oz and was 15.75" inches long. Samuel Von was born at 10:43am, and was 3# 6oz, and was also 15.75" long.

It's amazing that at birth they looked so much like you, and now that they're two weeks old, they still look like you. I love to watch your face when you look at them. You are so full of love.

Even though Sam is still on the vent, they are doing so well. After all, they are only two weeks old. The days go slow for us now, but the day will soon come when they'll all be home with us.

Love,

Tan

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The days were long and hard now. Constantly going back and forth to the hospital to see the babies and getting things ready for them to come home. Meg and Jay were were growing like weeds. Breathing on their own, and doing so well. Sam was still on the ventilator and was taking one step backward for every step forward. His lung tissue was swelling shut, and his breathing tube would come out. They were quickly able to reinsert it, and no damage was done.

Three weeks after their birth, Sam was still on a ventilator and still making no progress. That evening, they had come to visit their babies and as soon as they walked in the door, a nurse met them and ask them to wait outside. They could not get the tube back into Sam and things were looking bad for him. A Doctor came and talked to them and told them that Sam might not make it, and if he did, they wouldn't know his outcome. He had gone without oxygen a long time. They expected brain damage if he lived. He would probably live on a ventilator, again, if he lived. She heard the words, Mental Retardation, Cerebral Palsy, infections, death and her world reeled. What had they done? What had they done to him? It wasn't fair. If he lived, how bad would it be? Would she live long enough to take care of him? Who would take care of him then?

It was a long night, and Sam struggled, but held his own. They both sat by his side and touched his hand. He looked so tiny and so sick. She hummed a song, and he prayed for their baby. They had never held him. They could only touch him ever so lightly, and she couldn't even stroke his head. They wanted no stimulation. He needed to conserve his energy. He was fighting for his life, as she had done just a few short weeks before. So she hummed, and told him she loved him.... and she always would.

Be Blessed Everyone!



The conclusion is coming tomorrow!

A Dream Comes True (Part Two)

This is continued from the beginning story of Modern Day Woman ... Old Time Man. You can click here to start at the beginning of our life story, or you can click here to start at the beginning, part one, A Dream Comes True.

Without speaking, and in stunned silence, they left the office. She turned her face away from his and the tears poured down her face .....

They had just discovered that they were having triplets. Three babies. The chill of fear ran down her spine. She knew that it would take a miracle of God for her to pull this off. Little did she know, a miracle had already happened, and God would touch her and keep all four of them safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(May 3, 2004)

Dear Tan,

I always wanted to know what it is like to be in a NHRA dragster and go from 0 - 330 mph in about 4.5 seconds. Now I think I know. It's kind of like finding out you have three babies growing. In 4.5 seconds, the G-force makes your face go white for a few seconds.

Seriously, I know if anyone can do it, you can . You are a wonderful person, and will be and are, a wonderful Mother. I will be here by your side and I will never leave you.

I guess we might both get what we wanted. You wanted two babies. I wanted one. That makes three.

Love,

Von

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She lived in constant fear of losing the babies. As each week went by, the visits to the Doctor became harder and harder. She quickly grew uncomfortable and was very sick. With each visit to the Doctor, she was reminded of her age and the consequences of prematurity and told this might cost her, her life. They were told to reduce the pregnancy to one baby. They were told that they could not and would not be successful in this venture. She was told that this was the most selfish thing she could do to another human being ..... to bring children into the world with probable disabilities from prematurity, that related to her age, she would not live long enough to take care of them. They simply could not take the lives of what was given to them. No matter the cost.

He bought her a gift. A pregnant angel. A willow tree angel ..... Cherish. The one that symbolized the other half to the three she had given the woman long before she knew that she would have three babies. A reminder for her to keep. A reminder of the woman she didn't know, but would know in her heart, for all of her life. A reminder that she would cherish.

They soon found out that they were having two boys and a girl. He named their babies. He chose simple names. Three letter names. Sam, Jay and Meg. She chose their middle names .... and they made plans for the future.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(August 5, 2004)

Dear Tan,

Yesterday we found out our baby girl Meg, more than likely is a baby boy. Three boys. My three sons. How will I do it? How will we do it?

I know you are so sick, and so crowded, and I know you are headed for trouble soon if you don't get better, and gain weight. Our babies have taken all that you have to give, and I wish I could do something to help you. I feel so helpless. We've come so far and have so far to go, and we might not get there. I shouldn't say that, I have to have the faith that you have, but I'm so scared right now. I never knew it would be this hard on you. I never knew that they would be in jeopardy as well. I just never knew, now I don't know what to do. I can only pray that God will make things easier and better and you and them will be okay. They can't be born yet, they won't make it ... they're too small.

I love you Tan,

Von

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She was sick. In a hospital bed in their living room on complete bed rest with monitors and IV's, and unable to get up without help. She couldn't eat. She couldn't stop vomiting, and she knew that she was in big trouble. In a blur, she lay in the bed, uncomfortable and waited for him to come home. She knew she could no longer stay home.

He came into the house, exhausted and worried, and knew that something was wrong. She was having contractions. Too many and too painful, and she was still throwing up.

At the hospital, they discussed the options with him. They would start vein feedings to nourish her and their babies. They would stop her labor. She would have to stay there. He didn't think she was aware of what a dangerous situation they were in. He was worried.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(August 18, 2004)

Dear Tan,

The ultrasound yesterday shows that Meggie is still with us. She's still a girl! I'm happy about that. We got the first face picture of Sam in 4D. He looks great. Jay wouldn't cooperate. They are still far too little, and just not ready to be born yet.

I can remember the first few ultrasounds and all the ones we've had as we've watched them grow. It's hard to believe that we can actually see them now.

I miss you being here with me. I know it's in the best interest of the babies, and you.

I love you all,

Von

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She knew that something was seriously wrong. She'd been a nurse for years. Even though she was the patient, she still was somewhat aware of her surrounding. She felt chilled from the fevers, and too swollen. Her toes didn't touch the floor when they helped her up to the bathroom. But the fevers were the worst. She was so cold, and shaking so badly. ... and dreaming so much, or was she? She heard voices, and saw faces, and didn't recognize some of the people in her room. She saw her Mother, and her sister, and she saw her husband standing by her side, and she saw the tears streaming down his face. She felt his hands. She was in a daze, and the lights came and went. She couldn't breathe. She was swollen. She couldn't pee. She couldn't move, and she inhaled the words she heard, and heard them echo through her.

She was septic, in renal failure and in congestive heart failure. She had gained seventy pounds of fluid in three days, and her kidneys weren't working. Her fevers were high and she was in trouble. Her life was swinging in the balance and no one knew which way she would go. She was spiraling downward into multi-organ failure .... and going fast.

But he had promised her .... they would not take her babies. No matter what. He would keep his promise to her. He would give her up, to give them a chance. The plan was that they would intubate her, (they didn't have to) and keep her alive as long as they could, to give them the chance they needed. He was losing her. How would he handle three babies without her.

She heard her Doctors' words floating some where in the room, and she felt her cold hands holding her face to hers. Some where in the world that she was in, she heard her words, "Tanya, do you hear me? You have to tell me it's okay to take the babies. We have to take them now. Von won't give his permission. I know he promised you, but we have to take them now. You're very sick, and to save them, we have to take them now."

She heard herself whisper, "No." She knew she wasn't going to die. Somewhere in all the voices she heard, she heard her own, "you think I'm going to die, but I'm not." They said it wasn't possible that she heard them, but she did. She heard them all .

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He had ask to be alone with her. He sat in a recliner at her bedside. He wrote to her one last time with tears streaming down his face.

(September 21, 2004)

Dear Tan,

I love you yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. This may be the last letter I ever write to you. I read every word we've ever written to each other. I read your words, and I can almost hear your voice. I wish I could.

Love,

Von

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Alone in the room, he snapped their book closed one last time, and leaned over onto her bed. He closed his eyes and began to pray ... and he begged God to spare her life. She knew he was there.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Be Blessed Everyone ....



To my friends that read my blog ... this is very hard for me to write. I get chills when I think of how close I came to dying before my babies were born. I know how lucky I am to have survived. I give all thanks to God that I lived.

Click here to read part three.

A Dream Comes True (Part One)

February 2004

On a bitter cold night, just a short week after his Mother passed away, they lay in bed and made a pact. Before they fell asleep, holding hands a decision had been made. They would do whatever it took to have a child together. He desperately wanted to become a Father. She desperately wanted him to. Defying all odds, and against medical advice, they did .....

They sought help. Help that came in the form of a talented Doctor and a beautiful young woman's gift. With all odds against them, and a warning that they wouldn't succeed, they took a chance. They knew that God was with them, and they knew in their hearts this was their last chance. God is good.

She wrote a letter. A letter to a young woman that she didn't know. A woman that she would always think about, and a woman that she would always pray for. She knew that the young woman would get her letter and her gift. She didn't sign the letter .... for she couldn't.

(March 29, 2004)

We want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for giving us a chance to have a child together. Even though we don’t know you, we know that you have a big heart, and that you are a very caring and compassionate person or you would not have done this for someone you don’t know. We know that you will probably always wonder if we were fortunate enough to have a child, so we wanted you to know that if we are blessed, our child will have a very good life and will be very loved.

We want you to know a little about us also. We’ve been married for almost three years ago. My husband is a farmer and I am a Nurse. His family has farmed here for almost 200 years. We live in the country in a big old farmhouse. It’s an awesome place to live. I feel like we live in a small piece of Heaven. My husband is the kindest person I’ve ever met in my life. I know if we do have a child, he will teach him or her something very worthy every day.

We would like you to have these Willow Tree Angels as a remembrance of what you’ve given us. Heart, Hope, and Thanks.

Again, Thank you and remember in life to always be a giver and you will have peace in your heart. I will always keep you in my prayers and thank God you came into our lives this way. You are a beautiful person!

Three days later, life would begin.

(April 2, 2004)

Dear Von,

Today was a special day. It was the day we were given a gift. A gift from heaven. The gift of life.

I watched your face the whole time. I felt your hand in mine, and I felt the connection we share. What are the odds? We don't know. But I have faith .... and that faith will get us through this.

You're loved Von!

Tan

p.s. Please always pray for her, this woman. She has to be a good person to have given us this. Never forget that in life you always give more than you take, and how do we repay her? With prayers and good wishes ....

The week wore on .... and time stood still, and only time would tell. .... and it did.


(April 10, 2004)

Dear Von,

Congratulations! It looks like we've done it. We've done it good. Twins! I'll pray that they are beautiful boys for you, but if we're having girls .... I know you'll be just as happy. You are going to be the best Dad in the world.

I guess it will take a while to soak in. It's funny .... all we ever thought about was having just one baby, now we're getting two!

My head is reeling ... I'm in shock! How will I do it? My girls are having babies at the same time. I'm going to be a Grandmother, twice, just a couple of months before these guys get here. What have we done? I'm so excited, yet so scared.

I guess "real" will come soon enough. We are going to have our hands full! Can we do it? How?

Love,

Tan


The state of shock was overwhelming. It was like a blast of reality in their face. Surreal, but not real, yet it was true. Two babies were coming, and all would be good.

She wanted to buy something for them. For in the back of her mind, she needed something to tell her they were here ... and something for them in case it didn't last. Together they went, and bought their babies a gift. Each a little bunny that said a prayer. One yellow and one green, and she hugged them. As they left the aisle in the store, she felt an overwhelming feeling to reach back and grab another one. A third little green bunny found a home with the others.

Quickly, the days flew by and it was time to see the little ones growing inside of her. They were so excited to see two heartbeats. To see that their dream had come true.

As she lay on the table at the Doctor's office, she kept her eyes closed tightly and she prayed. He stood beside her. One hand on her shoulder, and the other intertwined with hers. He too prayed. ... that they would see the heartbeats, and all would be well. The heartbeats were there, and were strong .... and there were three.

He turned pale, and he felt weak. He had to sit down. She closed her eyes and felt the tears roll down her cheeks with the reality of what they had done. She was almost forty-eight years old and he was all but fifty. Being a nurse, she knew what was ahead, and it wouldn't be good.

Without speaking, and in stunned silence, they left the office. She turned her face away from his and the tears poured down her face .....

Be Blessed Everyone!



Click here to read Part Two!

Apples and Cokes

After their birthday party this afternoon, and after everyone had left, we escaped to the yard with the camera. It was too late for a nap and they were way too cranky to be inside with each other.

It's so funny how much a barely three year old can remember. Jay wanted his picture taken and he ran over to where I had taken a senior girl last week. He stood in the door way and smiled just like he was posing. THEN, Sam and Meg joined him and they went in .... and found apples and diet coke in the fridge. I didn't have the heart to take the cokes away from them.

Here's Sam with his apple. He had three apples. He dropped the first two and had to have a new one each time. Now I have a couple apples with a few bites out of them with a bit of dirt on them.

Jay held onto his too tight to drop it. Usually with both hands.
We walked around outside until they were out of the 'fighting mood' and their apples and cokes were gone.
Then we posed for a picture or two! Just like a senior girl!

Where's Meg? In way to bad a mood for a picture .... I'll catch her next time!

Be Blessed Everyone ...

Dear Sam, Jay & Meg

Dear Sam, Jay and Meg,

I know yesterday was your birthday, and I know that we always write you a letter on your birthday, but we have been without sleep now for three nights, and I'm so tired I can't hardly hold my head up. My eyes are crossing and I can't even focus, and I can hear you waking up now.

Why you ask? Well it's because you won't go to sleep at night. We can't keep you in your beds. You have a new found freedom.

Several weeks ago, I ask the advice of the good people who read my blog and they advised me to get rid of the crib tents and "go for toddler beds". They told me it was time. You are ready. After all, you're three years old now!

So we took their advice. Boy, that was the sorriest advice I've ever taken in my life. Now I'm living the life of three toddlers flipping end over end of their beds and partying til the cows come home. Only thing is, the cows aren't coming home, and you're not sleeping.

How can three little kids go without sleep I ask you? I think I already know that answer. It comes in the form of a short little guy named Sam.

Sam, not that I'm blaming you entirely, but yes, you are the main culprit. You have the ability to bounce up like a yo-yo with every thought that comes into your cute little head. I have never seen a kid with so much energy. Yes, I know you're exploring this big world you've been brought into, but please just go to sleep.

Jay, I know we're trying hard to wear big boy underwear all the time, but when you have to go pee at 3:00 am, and you want to pee off the porch, you have to take off your pajama's. Yes, it's cold outside at three in the morning. It's a rough world when you're a man Jay .... you have to take off your pants to pee!

Meg, I don't know what to say. I thought you would always mind your mama, but no, you follow the crowd. Please don't strip your bed and put everything you own in Jay's bed. He doesn't like getting buried in toys, baby dolls, blankets, six pillows, four blankets, fifteen books, your baby bottles, your flip flops that you sleep with every night, and every toy that you dearly love that's in the toy box. Only you can sleep on a layer of 'stuff' that is eight inches deep. When you do that at 1:00 am, it makes Mommy really cranky. Because when you wake up Jay, everyone wakes up. You can't throw the stuff on his head in the middle of the night.

One more thing kids, you can't unzip Sam's pajama's. He has got to keep his clothes on. He can't pee into Jay's bed in the middle of the night. Sam is not a clown .... he's your brother. Don't laugh at him! Please.

So tonight, we're going to try this again ... with a positive attitude, and we're going to do it. We are also going to ask Jessica to NOT let you have a nap today. And, if you don't go to sleep tonight, we're going to put the crib tents back on until you are in the sixth grade. (that's really just a empty threat, Sam destroyed them)

I love you all so much, but please go to sleep tonight. Mommy and Daddy need to sleep just a little bit. A few hours a week isn't asking for much now is it?

Have a great day my babies!

Love,

Mommy

We have Trouble ...

Toilet Trouble! and ...guess who did it? It would be those three little kiddo's watching their Daddy dig up the septic tank!
Since we're in the throes of potty training and being almost three years old .... we like to "do it myself." When we "did it myself", we flushed lots and lots and I mean a whole container of wet wipes down the toilet. So Daddy had to unplug it. .... and guess who said it was, "Nasty". Jay did! His nose was so curled up and he was telling Meg and Sam that is was Stinky.Sam decided to do a little digging while the others went off to get a pipe to pry the lid off.

Oops .... Sam fell in the hole. But Sam loved the dirt .... all over his new shoes!
He's almost got it ... Whew! That shovel is heavy .... and BIG!

"Hey Mom! Come help me!"
After all this hard work, Sam had to sit down and take a break. We really shouldn't be working our kids this hard. Don't tell okay?

Heck with the work .... Sam found another "Willy Worm" to be his friend. (We're hiding this one from Jay's shoe!)

Be Blessed Everyone!

Picture Day!

We took the kiddo's to "Yellow Banks" today to do pictures for their upcoming 3rd birthday. I had a plan. Pictures of each one of them sitting in a rustic old bench on the porch of a old log cabin. It was just a dream ....Not one of the one hundred fifty shots turned out good. Every picture here is a cropped version of something bigger and NOT good.
No one would sit down! This was the position of choice! S.T.A.N.D.I.N.G!
Then Sam growled at me when I told him to smile!

Meg had to have the boots on and then jumped off the porch about a thousands times!
Jump. Jump. Jump. Jump! Do-Dah! Dee-Do! Da-Day! Jump. Jump.
Sam spotted a small lawn tractor .... and it was all over for him! Come back Sam! Oh Sammmmmmmy!

Did you say Smile Mom? No Way Jose!

I don't want to sit! I like it like this. MOMMMMM!
What is this? A Bear? A wooden Bear?
I think I'll just take a nap. Don't bother me and get that camera away from me! NOW!!!

Look Mom. Watch me climb up the side of this log cabin. Jay! Jay! Get down Jay!
Yes Jay .... it IS a wooden Bear!
NO Jay! Don't kiss the bear! It might bite!

Okay everyone .... you're all sitting together! LOOK at ME! LOOK at ME!

Smile Jay!

Down Everyone ..... You'll fall! GET DOWN EVERYONE! NOW!
Hey! Come back .... I'm not finished! Please Come back. I have suckers! Hey! Yoo-Hoo!
Come on kids! Turn around! Look at ME! One more time!

No! Don't open that door. Someone lives there! Get back everyone! NOW! Do you want to go home?
Good Kids! Come on now .... sit back down on that bench! Please? For Mommy?

Hey Sammy! Want some candy? Just look at Mommy one more time. Please???

Yay Meggie! You're doing it! Smile Baby!

Way to Go Jay! Just look at Mommy! Who you love Jay? Yeah! Mommy's boy!

Needless to say, it didn't work out today. No wonderful birthday pictures! Just cropped out bits and pieces. But we have tomorrow afternoon and then again next weekend!

as always, be blessed.