Country Dreams (part two)

Read Part I first. Click here.

All was well. The baby was growing, and together, they prayed and thanked God for the gift of life he was giving them.

(November 21, 2002)

Dear Von,

Yesterday was really the best day of my life with you. I feel like we moved up another notch on that 'ladder of life' we live on. Even though everything in our life is good, it just got better.

Mainly, what I gained yesterday was a deeper respect for you and our relationship. I realized the value of your friendship and love for me. I know without any doubt that I am loved by you, and with all your heart.

Thanks for the date last night ... it was fun!

Love,

Tan

Thanksgiving came and they celebrated family, love and a new life that is coming. Their baby was growing and had a strong heartbeat. All was well and fall would turn to winter quickly.

(November 28, 2002)

Dear Tan,

Happy Thanksgiving! It was good to have dinner here with your kids. This evening was the first time I really felt like we were a family together. Next Thanksgiving we will have another family member with us, our child. We will be complete.

I love you Tan!

Von

It turned cold quickly and he lit a fire in the old wood burning stove on the back porch. Together they huddled around the stove and felt the warmth of the fire. They laid out a lifetime of plans for the child they would have. They named him. They decided who he would look like. They decided his future. Then they chuckled. He might be a she, and they started all over again.

That night as they slept, she awoke to sudden sharp pain. Pain that wouldn't go away. She woke him up and he called her Doctor. As he helped her out of the bed, she doubled over and her knees would no longer hold her. As he helped ease her to the floor, she felt the wet gush and warmth of blood trickle from her, and she felt the baby that they loved so much pass from her.

He held her close and they together they cried. Telling each other that they would not do this again. It was too hard. Too emotional and it hurt too much.

(December 4, 2002)

Dear Von,

It's been a bad week hasn't it? My whole world turned upside down when we miscarried again. Even though I'm sad, I know I will be okay and I thank God I have you. You have the kindest spirit and are always there for me. When I think of you, I always first think of my best friend, then my love, and how you have changed my life.

Love,

Tan

He wrote back to her and told her that everything would be okay. They had each other. That was all that mattered. He wouldn't put her through that again. He would be content without a child. He never considered being a Father until he met her, and he didn't need to have a child to live his life with her. They would have each other, her children, and grandchildren would surely come one day.

(December 4, 2002)

Dear Tan,

We had a very sad day. We will have other sad days, but we will have a lot more happy ones, than sad ones. I know it is harder on you and I'm so sorry for what you've been through trying to have our child. We still have a lot to be thankful for. We still have each other.

We just had our first snow of the season. I hope it's the last!

Your love for life,

Von

Christmas came. It was white and it was beautiful to her. Her kids were there and they too were settling into the new of a changed family.

(December 25, 2002)

Dear Tan,

Merry Christmas! I love you with all my heart! You got your wish, it was a white one and a very cold one! I'm still hoping that we won't get anymore snow!

Love,

Von

She looked for their journal. She wanted to write to him first... but he had beat her to it!

(December 25, 2002)

Merry Christmas! I love you with all my heart too. This was a great Christmas for me. I have you, and my kids, and I'm so happy with my life. Thank you for my camera. I love it!

All is well in the Siekman house .... isn't it wonderful?

Love,

Tan

New Year came and they were so busy. The cold is hard on the cows and the cold would chill him to the bone. He was back and forth from the barns to the house constantly trying to keep everything thawed and running. It seemed that they had no time for each other. She worked and he had too much to do. A dairy farm is a busy place to be, especially in the cold of the winter.

(January 1, 2003)

Dear Tan,

You are the love of my life and I am lucky to have you. I can see you and hear your voice even when we're apart. If you listen closely, you will always be able to hear my voice say, "I love you Tan." Always.

Happy New Year ... and may it be better than ever for you.

Love,

Von

The snow had melted and the days were slowly getting warmer. Easter was right around the corner. His parents were elderly. They were failing and they needed him more. They had so much pride and they would never ask for help. His Father was fading before his eyes. The thought of losing him was more than he could bear. He had worked with his Dad, hand in hand, since he was a little boy on this farm.

He had always looked up to his Father as the man he wanted to be like some day. He patterned his life after him and worked hard to be like him. To have his morals and his integrity. To work the same land that he had, and to have his wisdom. His Father had taught him so much. He loved his Dad. He would be there for this man, to help him and take care of him as long as they needed him. He knew these days would some day come, but he didn't know how heavy his heart would feel once these days got here.

She was a nurse. She could see that his Father was failing fast. She would stand beside him and take care of him along with her husband, and his family. He was a good man. The man that molded her husband into the man that he is. She loved him too. She would miss him when he was gone. She knew that it would be soon.

She spent a lot of time at his parents house. She got to know his Father well. He talked to her, and he confided in her the two regrets that he had in his long life, and he gave her advice. She would take his advice and hold it true to her heart all of her days, and she would always thank this old man for his wisdom.

Spring was here. It came in gently, and she had a plan. A simple plan to help the older man that she had grown to love, to have no regrets, before he left this world. She knew just how to make that happen.

(March 13, 2003)

Dear Tan,

One of the greatest gifts of love is helping some one to grow. You have helped me to be a better person. You have helped me to see that I have been wrong for a lot of years in something that I thought I was right about. Too many years went by, and I lost track of what is important in life.

First being .... family. I thank you for the gift of my brother. The brother that is so important to me. The brother that lives right down the road from me, that I love. I'm so ashamed that I let so many wasted years go by and caused Mom and Dad such heartache. It must have hurt their hearts, for their sons to not speak for ten years. Thank you for showing me how important family is. I can't imagine not having my brother in my life again. I truly missed him. I only hope that he will forgive me. A simple foolish quarrel .... and so many years wasted.

I hope Mom likes the memory letters she will get for her birthday from all of her family. I hope she likes them as much as we do. I (like you) have enjoyed reading each letter we have gotten so far. How did you convince Dad to write Mom a letter? I still can't believe that he wrote to her. She will love reading the letters over and over again. The album they are in, is beautiful. Mom will love it.

Love,

Von

Little did he know, she was helping an old man that loved his old wife very much. The old man just didn't know how to say the words anymore. The old woman wouldn't remember hearing them anymore. She would however, read those words over and over again.

(March 26, 2003)

Dear Von,

I am so glad that you and your brother will soon walk down the same path again. I know that you will get there. This was your Dad's wish, and one of the regrets in his life, that years ago he never stopped this feud between his sons.

Yes, Mom will love the book of letters from all of us. She might not be able to remember the day to day things now, but she will remember all that we've written about and she will read it again and again. That was the other regret your Dad had, that he didn't tell her often that he loved her. He said he was too busy working and all the years slipped away. But, he wrote it in a letter to her .... a letter that she'll read after he's gone, and she'll know. He loved her.

I love you Von. I know these days are hard for you ... and I'll always be here to help you.

Love,

Tan

Early in June, on a quiet night in his home .... his Father passed away. He had wished for two things. His sons were right with each other, and he found a way for his wife of many years to know that he loved her. She read his words often, and he had died with no regrets.

Thanks for reading .. and be blessed!



Click here for part three and the conclusion to 'Country Dreams'.