Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Country Dreams (Part Three)

Want to read Part One first? You can click here to start at the beginning of this story.

Time has a way of healing the heart, or at least softening the ache. He missed his Father deeply. Memories rushed through him like a warm breeze. Losing your Father, even as a middle aged man deeply hurts.

(June 14, 2003)

Dear Tan,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me, Dad and Mom. I could not have fulfilled his last wish without you. Dad trusted, loved and became dependant on you. (maybe I became more dependant on you than Dad did.)

I went in at Mom's the other day and Mom had the group Easter picture out looking at it. What I see is all the things that at the time seems not worth the trouble, but later turns out to be very important. I thought Dad was too weak to go outside and stand for the picture. Now, that is the last family group picture of all our family in it. I can't hardly keep from crying when I think about it.

Like the picture you took of Dad sitting in the garden. Everyone has pictures of Dad, but that is the last picture of him when he was still able to put on his overalls and go outside. I love that picture.

Before Dad passed away, you told me and Janet that if we wanted to tell Dad anything we should each have some time alone with him and talk to him, as he wouldn't be with us much longer. That was the last conversation I had with my Father and it gives me great peace. Peace I would never have had without you.

Like the letters you had us write to Mom, no one wanted to write, but you encouraged us all to write them. Everyone said Dad would not write one, but you also encouraged him as well. Now those letters mean everything to Mom. Especially the one Dad wrote to her. I'm thankful that you got to know my Dad, even though it was for a short time.

I love you,

Von

His heart ache was easing. He was busy. His Mother didn't need to be alone. They would all take turns spending the nights with her, and the woman they had hired during the days, was keeping her busy. Harvest was again here and life was getting back to normal.

(September 18, 2003)

Dear Von,

Well ----- I'm pregnant again. This time, we have a better chance of succeeding. I only wish I didn't have to take those shots.

It's funny how I've looked back through our journal and time has just flown by. Now that I'm pregnant again, the days are so slow. I'm worried, and I just wish time would fly again until I know everything is okay with the baby and I've reached a safe point.

I know you are so busy with the farm and I wish you didn't have to work so hard and have such long days. But that is the life of a farmer ~

It was fun to take a couple days and go to Indy together. I have never been to a NHRA drag race before. By the way, what does NHRA stand for?

I love you,

Tan

Something in her heart told her that this baby would follow the path of the others. She didn't feel right. She felt empty inside. She miscarried again on September 30th.

(September 30, 2003)

Dear Von,

Well, it happened again. Another sad day for us. I know we can't continue to get pregnant and have this outcome ~ it's too hard on me and too emotional for both of us. It's pretty sad when your Doctor begs you to stop it with tears in her eyes. We both said it before, but this time, we have to call it quits.

We will always have each other, and that's forever.

Love,

Tan

They had been married for only two short years with many losses already. Their marriage was strong, but their hearts were broken.

(November 20, 2003)

Dear Von,

Happy Anniversary. I didn't buy you a gift because I couldn't find anything that I thought you would like. Instead I made something for you.

I know what a special man your Dad was to you, so I made something that would remind you of him. I made a 'old country rabbit' for you. I cut up a old pair of your Dad's overalls and made the bibbed overalls for the rabbit, and I cut the sleeve out of the old flannel shirt that he wore the last day he was up, and made a little shirt.

I chose to make a rabbit because rabbits love gardens, and your Dad loved his garden.

I hope you like it ~

Love,

Tan

He loved the rabbit. It brought tears to his eyes. Mainly because she was thinking of his Dad, and she knew that he missed him.

(November 20, 2003)

Dear Tan,

Happy Anniversary. Thanks for the rabbit you made from Dad's old clothes. I really like it.

Also, thanks for your smile, your kindness and love, and for being my best friend.

I love you today and forever,

Von

Christmas came and went and winter was hard and cold this year. They all continued to take turns staying nights with his Mother. She was doing well until a cold February morning. Three days later she was gone. So suddenly. They had brought her home from the hospital to die. By her side, they stayed until her last breath. Burying his Mother was just as hard as losing his Father only nine short months earlier. So much loss in so little time.

(February 26, 2004)

Dear Tan,

I started to work on Mom's tax papers and I found the original letter I wrote to her on her birthday, and I thought I should write to you and thank you for all you did for my parents. I don't know how I would have taken care of Mom and Dad without you, but just as important is you cared about them too.

Also, it means so much to me that I had you to share my grief with, after they both passed away. I still have a hard time believing that they're both gone. I look at their house every time I am over there, and the stillness haunts me. It was so sudden. The house is cold and empty now, and it was such a warm home to grow up in.

You are the most caring and giving person I know. It's a comfort to know that you miss them too. I'm not by myself. I need you now and forever.

I love you,

Von

For the first time in the short two and half years they'd been married, life was becoming settled. They were home in their own bed at night and Spring was on it's way. They prayed that no more heartache would find them.

(March 10, 2004)

Dear Von,

I miss Mom and Dad too, and I know it must be very hard for you to work over at their house every day. You must feel very empty over there.

But this Spring, Dad's roses will bloom and you will think of him ... and in the Fall, the Pecans will fall, and you will think of Mom. You'll still have your heartaches, and you'll still miss them, but as the seasons change, it will ease. You'll smile as little thoughts of them pass through you as you work over there.

Life changes Von. ... and unfortunately, we don't know why God chooses the times he does to change things. But I'm sure there is a reason.

I'm glad you love me and I promise ~ I won't ever forget it ~ no matter where I am.

I love you,

Tan

~ The End ~

Be Blessed everyone ... and thanks for peeking into our life, and for the kind words that you leave me in the comments.



A new story will begin soon. A story of fear, love and determination. A story that will rock you to your very core, and leave you knowing that God truly wraps us in his arms, and carries us when we're unable to carry ourselves. They could not stop their dream. The dream of having a child. Defying death, their dream will finally come true, and they will be blessed. Triple blessed.