Tuesday, January 1, 2008

New Years Resolution ....

I woke up this morning and decided that I need to make a new resolution in my life. It's about time too, Marlboro Man said. .... and one that I can stick to.

First of all, I didn't even put the diet word on the list because I know I won't keep it. When you have three year old triplets and one of them says, "snackie" every other word, it's hard to go on a diet. We still have that "one for you .... and one for me" thing going on, and there is three of them.

What I did decide to put on my list is critical to my survival, since I do not want to raise three year old triplets alone. I dearly love Marlboro Man want to live here with him in this old farmhouse for the next seventy-seven years and have a few more of his babies in my dreams. So I made one New Years Resolution because I got tired of watching him roll his eyeballs towards Heaven when I tell him how to do things! Here is my New Years Resolution for 2008:

  1. Bite yer tongue! (pronounced 'tunggggggggg', hang on that 'g' and say it out loud and see if you got it right, and remember, it's not to be confused with "git er done") The reason for this resolution is to remind me to cool it and let that man "git er done" his own way. He doesn't need me to tell him what to do and how to do it. He's a big boy now and is fully capable of gittin er done all by himself. So from this day forth .... I vow to Bite my tongue!

No sirree, he doesn't need me to tell him that he needs to dump the turd out of the underwear. Nope, he's gonna figger it out one of these days. All by himself. Granted, we haven't had too many of those kind of accidents ... but they do happen around here.

What amazes me is his way of thinking .... where does he think that turd is going to go? Surely, he doesn't think it's biodegradable and will just disappear in the laundry? Or does he think it's going to petrify and we'll have a new baseball? After all, he's majorly into recycling!

Well, let me tell you .... today I 'bit my tunggggggg.' ... and while biting my tongue, I quietly sneaked out onto the back porch and dumped that little round turd out of those Mickey Mouse underwear, and right onto the toe of his left work boot! Imagine his surprise in the morning when he finds that the turd reincarnated from behind the bathroom door where he left it rolled up in those cute little dirty underwear. But I Bit my Tunggggggg! (but I snorted, snickered and I giggled)

Now that he's asleep do you think I should go stick a toothpick in it with a little note attached that says, "Sam's little turd" .... or do you think he'll figure it out? I want to make sure he recognizes it since I have vowed to no longer give him "Womanly advice" and tell him how to wash out a pair of size 2 underwear. I want no more eye rolls and he wants no more snickers and snorts from me.

Marlboro Man doesn't have the sense of humor that I have. He doesn't see things the same way I do. He's kind of a serious guy and truly just doesn't see the humor. I've tried to tell him over the past three years that you don't go sticking your finger down the back of a diaper or a pair of underwear to check to see if they pooped. You lift the kid up nose level and sniff deeply, or you gently take a little peek. But you never stick you finger in there. You just might come down with a deadly case of PFS (Poopy Finger Syndrome). Again, he rolls his eyes at me, and totally ignores my good advice. He's been properly oriented to the Fatherhood of Triplets Club, and he knows how to do things .... So, when I roll on the floor laughing at his PFS, .... he gets mad. So .... from now on, I'm gonna 'bite my tunggggggggg!'

Okay Everyone .... what's your New Years Resolution? Come forth all you readers, it's check in time, and let me know your plan for 2008 ~

Here's wishing you all a fantastic new year, and be blessed!