Husband for Sale

Yesterday evening we came home to this! A tree laying outside our backdoor. This tree had been coming down branch by branch every time the wind blew. Finally, Mr. Dairy Wife and his other brother Darrel, cut the tree down!

Today, The FarmHouse Kids explored the forest outside their house. They climbed all over the tree and through all the branches. They kept saying that they were climbing a tree! This is exactly what every kid that wants to climb a tree needs .... just have their Daddy cut the tree down for them! It works every time!

Mrs. Dairy Wife informed the Mr. that he has to clean up the forest. He absolutely can not leave that tree there and burn it "one piece at a time." It would take two years .... this was a big tree!

Mrs. Dairy Wife thinks "clean up, clean up!" .... and Mr. Dairy Wife thinks "aw shucks ... it ain't hurtin nuthin! The kids got a new tree house!"

Here's The FarmHouse Kids on top of their new tree house. Sam wasn't too happy to be up so high. These Indiana Redwoods grow big! .... or is that only in California? Oh well, it's the biggest maple they've ever seen three feet outside their backdoor, across the yard and the driveway!

Mr. Dairy Wife also taught them another new activity that only kids on a Dairy Farm can do. They can write their name in the special mud outside the barn with a big stick.

See the Special Mud? It is circled in the picture! We have lots of it here on the farm. It oozes right out of the barn on rainy days. Mr. Dairy Wife thought it was cute that the kids played in it. Mr. Dairy Wife is very weird sometimes. Actually, he is very weird most of the time.

This picture really doesn't have anything to do with Mr. Dairy Wife letting the kids play in Cow Poop .... other than Mrs. Dairy Wife accidently shot this picture when she threw up her hands in disgust and went in the house!

Mrs. Dairy Wife is willingly to sell quart sized containers of Special Mud if anyone wants some? She also is considering selling Mr. Dairy Wife as well ......

Be Blessed Everyone.

Do You Have a Purple Toothbrush?

Marlboro Man somehow had all three of the kiddo's squeezed into our tiny little bitty bathroom this evening. I'm not kidding, our bathroom is smaller than most closets. He doesn't see the need to build another bathroom in this house. So I always see the need to let him take them, hoping that someday soon he'll see the light.

So, as always, they all had to go pee all at the same time. He doesn't sing the "Line Up - Line Up" song that I sing, because he's really not very good in the "pee department." They get one up on him every time. Some times I feel really sorry for him .... other times I just lean against the wall, bite my hand, cross my legs and laugh until I lose my breath.

Tonight he heard me in the hallway laughing ... and he got one up on me. He came out sweating, carrying Sam and dragging Jay and Meg, and smirked, "Do you have a purple toothbrush?" When I told him "yes, who else's would it be ... only two adults live here." He then said to me, "Oh, thought I'd tell you that I rinsed it off!" and smirked his way on past me, not missing a beat.

Gotta love that man .... at least he told me!

Be Blessed everyone.

Verizon ... Way Back When

I was reminiscing today as I was driving, about when I was growing up, and how times have changed so much. When you say forty years ago, that's a long time ago. But on that time line of life ... it's just a drop in the bucket. On the other hand, on the technology end of it ... forty years ago was cave man times.

As I looked down at my cell phone, I thought about gadgets. I chuckled as I remembered when I got my first cell phone. You talk about cool. I was so cool. I had the latest and greatest phone in the world. That baby rocked. It only weighed 4 pounds, had push buttons, and got a great signal as long I was no where near a tree . I would wrap the plug in cord around the black bag it came in several times, sling it over my shoulder and talk away. I was mobile. .... and I had 100 minutes to use as I pleased. .... and that was only ten years ago!

Now I have a sleek little all metal phone, that fits in the palm of my hand, that does everything I'd ever want it to. The only thing it doesn't have, is a built in ATM machine, and I'm needing a built in ATM machine. I'm collaborating with Verizon as we speak, to remedy that problem.

What prompted this new venture I'm on, is that dear dear husband of mine, Marlboro Man. He saw my cell phone bill. He actually saw my cell phone bill. Then he picked it up, and he had the audacity to thumb through the pages. All the pages. Then he sat down at the table with a ink pen. Being that I'm so quick thinking, I knew I had to divert his attention. So I said, "Hey Honey ... you ah ah ah got a few minutes?" He ignored me. He rolled his eyeballs up at me, raised his eyebrows and twitched his head a little bit. Then I got the look. T.H.E. Look! The one that says, "you're in trouble Tan." That look.

I can actually say that I have never in the fifty years of my life, actually or physically, seen steam come from some one's ears. I thought something was up when his hair kinked up and heat radiated from his body, his eyes turned red and little curls of steam started drifting upward. I was totally amazed at the sound he emitted. His ears actually whistled from the pressure! I jumped four feet backwards and covered my ears!

But I stood my ground. I just stood there and stared at him like a lovestruck puppy. I shook my head just a little bit, kind of like a twitch, just so he'd know I was really listening to him. I raised my eyebrows a few times and then sucked in some air, so he'd know I was concerned too. Then as he waved the pages in my face, I said, "how did that happen?" THAT was the wrong thing to say! I should have said, "Ouch!" or "are you serious?" or "wow ... Verizon never gets anything right do they?" Anything, except, "how did that happen?"

What he didn't say was beans for brains!

He wanted to know who was in Oklahoma. I had to explain that was my new pretend friend Okie Nana. We chatted a long time about everything. I told him she is really cool and has really cute grand kids, and I loved talking to her.

Then he wanted to know who is in North Carolina. Well, that would be Bubbles. She's awesome. Me and her are "buds." She is going to have a new grand baby boy in a couple of months.

Then he rattled off a whole list of city's and states. Seattle, Dallas, Fort Lauderdale, Chicago, Idaho, Atlanta, New Mexico, Corpus Christi, etc... (good thing he didn't have a map and some push pins)

I moved a little closer to him so I could reach my cell phone. I leaned over his shoulder and said, "ummm you smell so good" ... and reached around with my other hand and slid my phone into my pocket before it would disappear off the face of the earth .... forever.

I really don't know why he was in such a tizzy .... I didn't go over my 4000 minute plan. Not one minute over. I had raised my plan so I couldn't possible do that and cost us a small fortune. I am smart like that.

I love modern technology ... and I love Marlboro Man too!

Be Blessed Everyone!

Ralph's Place (Part One)

Ralph's Place ..... just a old barn that is falling down back along a curvy country road that really takes you no where. No where special, no where at all.

Ralph's Place .... with a beat up old rusty Chevelle, just sitting there with sharp briar's growing in, and around it. With no windows and the cruel weather, it's just sitting there growing older by the minute. No seats to sit in, and no one to love this old car. It's day of beauty was over.

Ralph's Place .... just a left over old home place that is neglected and unkempt these days. Nothing there but a grain bin and a barn full of junk. No one visits there these days, and no one calls this home. It is pretty meaningless to anyone passing by. No memories, no love and only a place of the past.

But to a heartsick woman and a lonely man, it was about to become a special beautiful place. It holds the very beginning of their destiny. The very beginning of a country dream .... one that began long before they ever met. Long before they knew that Ralph's Place would be forever be in their hearts.


She rode along in silence as the semi bumped slowly along the narrow gravel road. What was she doing here? Mile after mile she rode, wrapped deep in her thoughts, until the air in the semi started to suffocate her. She could feel the nausea rise up from her stomach. She could feel her head spinning, and she had to lean back and take a deep breath. She had to get away from him.

This had to stop. Day after day she rode with him. No more, she vowed to herself. She was finished. She would no longer waste her life in this truck, going with him to make sure he didn't cheat. No more. She was over it and today was the beginning of the end for her.

As the brakes squealed, he rolled the big truck to a stop deep into the country, on a curvy country road. He slowly backed the rig into a small woods. They would sit here again for a hour and wait. Wait until the man on the bucksaw would pile the logs high on the trailer of the semi-truck. Then they would leave. But they would return. Again.

She couldn't stand the noise and the movement as the loader dumped the big logs, one by one, onto the truck. It shook the truck and jolted her to reality with every bang. She felt like running away.

Off in the distance, just across the old fence row was a barn. It was beyond repair and was grown up with weeds. Yellow flowers were bloomed, and they bordered the side of the barn. She could see an old green car that had been abandoned there, and a big stone well sat in the middle of the property. Off to the side, several old apple trees hung heavy with fruit, and she could see a mail box along the road that was rusted and broken. To her, the overall picture was intriguing, and she had to see what was inside that barn.

Slowly, she climbed the fence and headed towards the old barn. Alone, she had time to kill, and a lot of thinking to do.

To Be Continued .....

Be Blessed Everyone! Another short story is unfolding! Click here to read Part Two of Ralph's Place.

New Years Resolution ....

I woke up this morning and decided that I need to make a new resolution in my life. It's about time too, Marlboro Man said. .... and one that I can stick to.

First of all, I didn't even put the diet word on the list because I know I won't keep it. When you have three year old triplets and one of them says, "snackie" every other word, it's hard to go on a diet. We still have that "one for you .... and one for me" thing going on, and there is three of them.

What I did decide to put on my list is critical to my survival, since I do not want to raise three year old triplets alone. I dearly love Marlboro Man want to live here with him in this old farmhouse for the next seventy-seven years and have a few more of his babies in my dreams. So I made one New Years Resolution because I got tired of watching him roll his eyeballs towards Heaven when I tell him how to do things! Here is my New Years Resolution for 2008:

1. Bite yer tongue! (pronounced 'tunggggggggg', hang on that 'g' and say it out loud and see if you got it right, and remember, it's not to be confused with "git er done") The reason for this resolution is to remind me to cool it and let that man "git er done" his own way. He doesn't need me to tell him what to do and how to do it. He's a big boy now and is fully capable of gittin er done all by himself. So from this day forth .... I vow to Bite my tongue!

No sirree, he doesn't need me to tell him that he needs to dump the turd out of the underwear. Nope, he's gonna figger it out one of these days. All by himself. Granted, we haven't had too many of those kind of accidents ... but they do happen around here.

What amazes me is his way of thinking .... where does he think that turd is going to go? Surely, he doesn't think it's biodegradable and will just disappear in the laundry? Or does he think it's going to petrify and we'll have a new baseball? After all, he's majorly into recycling!

Well, let me tell you .... today I 'bit my tunggggggg.' ... and while biting my tongue, I quietly sneaked out onto the back porch and dumped that little round turd out of those Mickey Mouse underwear, and right onto the toe of his left work boot! Imagine his surprise in the morning when he finds that the turd reincarnated from behind the bathroom door where he left it rolled up in those cute little dirty underwear. But I Bit my Tunggggggg! (but I snorted, snickered and I giggled)

Now that he's asleep do you think I should go stick a toothpick in it with a little note attached that says, "Sam's little turd" .... or do you think he'll figure it out? I want to make sure he recognizes it since I have vowed to no longer give him "Womanly advice" and tell him how to wash out a pair of size 2 underwear. I want no more eye rolls and he wants no more snickers and snorts from me.

Marlboro Man doesn't have the sense of humor that I have. He doesn't see things the same way I do. He's kind of a serious guy and truly just doesn't see the humor. I've tried to tell him over the past three years that you don't go sticking your finger down the back of a diaper or a pair of underwear to check to see if they pooped. You lift the kid up nose level and sniff deeply, or you gently take a little peek. But you never stick you finger in there. You just might come down with a deadly case of PFS (Poopy Finger Syndrome). Again, he rolls his eyes at me, and totally ignores my good advice. He's been properly oriented to the Fatherhood of Triplets Club, and he knows how to do things .... So, when I roll on the floor laughing at his PFS, .... he gets mad. So .... from now on, I'm gonna 'bite my tunggggggggg!'

Okay Everyone .... what's your New Years Resolution? Come forth all you readers, it's check in time, and let me know your plan for 2008 ~

Here's wishing you all a fantastic new year, and be blessed!

Christmas Card

I decided to turn our this year's Christmas card in a header for my blog. This is us. The most current picture of us and I love it.

Marlboro Man adamantly told me to not put his picture on a Christmas card. He's kind of shy like that, and doesn't want me to send his picture out to everyone on our card list. It's not like his family doesn't already know what he looks like. They do. So I think I'm going to sign it "Don" .... his twin brother. Maybe they won't notice! So don't tell him okay? No phone calls, no emails and no snickers! I do have a great idea though. I found a website that you can order postage stamps with your own picture. Wouldn't he just love that?

I seriously don't know why he is so camera shy. I think he's a good looking man, and it's not like he has a big wart on his nose or something. What is so funny is that he knows I put the picture on my blog header. I can't mail his picture, but I post it for millions to see, and I don't catch flack. I just don't get it. I truly don't think the man has a clue just how big the "world wide Internet" is. So don't tell him!

As I said in my earlier post, a few nights ago we played "photo session", and our niece Amanda took about 449 shots to attempt a group picture of us for our Christmas card. She did a great job and I can't thank her enough. We laughed and had a great time. You just can't imagine how hard it is to keep all three of these kiddo's sitting in one spot.

Tonight I'll be posting the rest, if the kids don't get the best of me!

Be Blessed Everyone and I hope everyone is getting into the Christmas spirit and remembering what it's all about!

A Good Potty Tale!

I have to say .... first of all, if you have to go pee, do it now!

Here's the story: We ran into town today to pick up a few things in the pouring down rain. First stop was Toys-R-Us to buy Meg a dollhouse for Christmas. Got it. While we were there, we went to pee.

Next stop was to have lunch .... go pee first thing, fill our plates, eat as fast as we can and get out of there before we have to go pee again. No way! Two trips to the bathroom. All three kids and me squeezed in one stall. Did it ... and out the door in the rain again.

Then we head to Babies R Us so I could run in and grab a couple of white shirts for the boys. I told Marlboro Man to watch for me and I'd run right in and right back out. They didn't have white shirts and I was back out of the store in I know what was less than five minutes.

No mini-van in the parking lot anywhere. Just as I was calling MM on my cell phone I spotted our van way over in the very farthest corner of the parking lot. Way over there! All alone in the corner with no vehicles anywhere around it.

After telling him that I am standing out front of the store, he drives over to pick me up. I opened the door to jump in and the smell almost knocked me down, and all three kids were running all over the back of the van. MM was looking rather sweaty and frazzled and I instantly knew that something had happened. But how could it ... I was only out of the van for five minutes.

He proceeds to tell me that both boys had to pee and Meg had to poop. We have a little potty chair in the back of the van for emergencies and he decided to use it. In the parking lot. Alone. With three kids in a mini-van. Not an RV mind you, but a Grand Caravan, with three huge car seats and only enough room to duck and turn around. He did it.

Meg had smeared poop all over the potty and her leg. Jay had turned every button on and was putting dimes in the CD player and heater .... and Sam had an ink pen and wrote his ABC's and numbers and drew a architectural design of a large building on the dashboard of the van.

Less than five minutes. That's all he needed to look like he'd been run through the mill and hung out to dry! It didn't even occur to him to strap them back into their car seats one at a time!

At this point, between the smell and the screaming ..... we headed home with a potty full of poop and a frazzled husband of triplets. I give him credit for trying and always playing the game!

Be Blessed Everyone!

~ The Turkey Fryer ~

Yes, there is a turkey in there! The big turkey that lives here with me decided to cook a little turkey yesterday. See all that steam? That's not steam. It might look like it but trust me, it's not steam! It wasn't that cold outside yesterday. (read on)

Did the big turkey read the instructions? NOoooooo! He already knew all about it. I asked him. My question wasn't even worthy of an answer. I only got a "roll of the eyes" and a "hmmpph." So I quietly stood back and watch the big turkey cook his goose, oops I mean turkey!

We bought this turkey fryer last November on sale and this November the big turkey that lives here put it together and decided it was time to use it.

The kids were so excited to go outside and stand in the garage and watch the turkey get cooked. It was drizzling rain most of the day and they were bored and it seemed like a good thing to do. We stood back and watched the oil boil and bubble and watched the thermometer rise! We watched the turkey cook, and we watched the cook turn the flame wide open to get the temperature up just a little bit more! .... and a little bit more, and again, a little bit more!

You know how it is ..... when you get to be almost fifty-one years old and you bust a gut laughing and you have to bend over and cross your legs when you laugh ..... well, I had to do that.

For when my big turkey of a husband that didn't read the directions lifted his prize turkey from his new cooker, the look on his face was priceless! ..... it was a "burned bird" instead. Remember I said that wasn't steam .... nope it was smoke! That baby was smoking! .... and boiling over in peanut oil.

At that point, me and my camera were ordered off the premises with a finger that pointed "OUT!", and I snorted, snickered and giggled all the way to the house. ... and I have to tell you, I didn't even pee in my pants from all the laughing!

Be Blessed Everyone ... and may you read your directions before you cook your turkey!

Another Marlboro Man Tale

Marlboro Man went shopping. Could it be for our anniversary that is coming up next week? I don't think so!

MM doesn't shop often ... only four times a year if he can help it. ... and then he'd pawn it off on his sister if I'd let him, which I don't. I kind of have a attitude that it's the least he can do is to put a little effort four times a year into a present for me. ... and he does. So the man went shopping the other day! But it wasn't for me.

It was for him. ... and that he never does. Unlike me, who can whip up a forty page list in ten seconds flat, with no thought or effort at all. I'm sure he thought of every aspect and angle and reasoned for a long time before he bought what he bought. He labored and justified and considered many other options before coming to the conclusion that he needed it, and it was necessary. He doesn't have many needs in life other than me and the kids. I, on the other hand, have many great needs, and many more wants. Just ask him.

He's a very conservative man. For Pete's sake the man has a Miata in the garage that he drives to town because it gets forty-five miles per gallon. MM is mostly the pick up truck country cowboy type .... and he sometimes drives the Miata, with the top up of course, for practical purposes. Dang, if I could figure out how to legally strap three car seats on the trunk I'd be flying low with that rag top down. But then I'd have to figure out how to shift gears and not jerk the kids out of their seats, and bounce them up and down the interstate. So I'm sticking to the mini van and leaving the convertible to him for his seldom lone trips into town. The man also has a perfectly awesome orange '69 Camaro and a '46 Willy's Jeep in a barn out back. ... and years ago, long before he became a Father, the man used to be a hot rod muscle car drive 'em wreck 'em roll 'em til he blew up the motor kind of guy.

I had to get off track and tell about MM's little bitty two seater convertible because it's a great part of this story. He drove into the city the other day and bought himself a Leaf Blower! .... and he hauled it home in his little convertible with the box sticking out of the window. God, I love that man. I really do.

We have a gi-normous amount of leaves here in the fall ... and he's planning on keeping the front yard cleared of leaves. We built a big picket fence for the kids this Spring and it will fill half up with leaves if we don't do something about it.

He's being practical. I want to play. I can't wait for him to make big piles so the kids and I can play in the leaves, and I can take pictures of them. He bought a necessity and I have a new toy!

Can you just picture him driving down I-164 with a leaf blower that is bigger than the car sticking out the window? Should I tell him that, that is NOT cool? What do you think?

Be Blessed Everyone!

The Man Amazes Me

All of you that having been reading lately know that I am wanting (getting) a building (studio) for my photography business. FarmHouse Photography. Kinda catchy huh? You think that might have anything to do with the fact that I live on a farm? Yes, you're right, and I'm also Mom to "The FarmHouse Kids" too.

This morning Marlboro Man's brain was turning like greased wheels. Actually he was trying to kill two birds with one stone. He was trying to 1) keep me happy, 2) save himself some money (maybe that should be option number one.)

See that barn in the picture above. Yes, that one. The one without windows or doors, and the one with Martha and her friends living in it. If you look close, you can see Martha's head sticking out one of those little windows on the left. (You can see Martha later as you read on.) He started telling me, "you know Tan, I was thinking ......," and I knew right then and there that he was headed for trouble.

Are you figuring out yet where I'm going with this? I bet you are! He said to me, "I was thinking, what about having your business in the top of the barn? It has a hip roof, it's tall, and has lots of room. When I was a kid, we used to stack lots of hay up there in the loft, and we played in there too! Lots of room! Wide open space ... and it's right here and already built!"
Yeah boy! Way up there in the loft. I can see it now ..... "FarmHouse Photography" ... just climb right on up! Oops, be careful ... that ladder is straight up! Here, let me shove your butt up a rung! Hold on while I pull my camera up on a rope! You up there yet? Here, pull me up! Whew! We made it! Yeah, we got central air! Lots of wide open space too .... just watch out for the birds! Duck! The barn swallows are after us! Run .... don't fall! Hold on! Here, just slide down that rope! Watch out for Martha when you land! She gets nervous you know. Don't step in it .... you'll ruin those city shoes you got on! Yeah .... I can see it now! "FarmHouse Photography"

Then I got to thinking .... wow, that's a pretty cool idea, and the view would be awesome from way up there in that old barn. We can put a new roof on it ... build a nice outside set of stairs to get up there so that we don't have to use Martha for a step stool. We can insulate it and drywall the whole loft. Then of course we'd have to put in a bathroom, an office and a few windows and make a door. We'd need a few dozen fly strips, and definitely heat and air to kill the smell. Other than that, I think I'm going to love it. I've never had a barn loft before and it's well lit up at night, and I wouldn't need a underground tunnel since I'd be able to just run across the driveway a bit. So I told him to go for it! Get on the ball and get started! Woo Hoo! I'm getting a new studio! Just a few renovations and I'm all set!

Meet Martha! She'll live downstairs with all her sis-ta's!

As for Marlboro Man .... he changed his mind! He didn't think that was a practical idea when I told all the modern conveniences I wanted and needed! Can you believe that? The man totally amazes me!

So what do you think? Should I go for the old barn idea and try to talk him back into it? .... or totally go with my original plan for a quaint little old school house look?

Be Blessed Everyone!

How To Handle A Husband

Marlboro Man and I will be married for six years in three more weeks. I've been pondering what I'd like to have for our anniversary. After thinking about it for a couple of days, I decided that I want a building. Don't spit your coffee out just yet, I'm not asking for a barn. Just half a barn, and I want it built on the opposite side of the house where the big barn is, and where all the cows and their pet flies hang out in the summer time. We live on a dairy farm for pete's sake, and the flies come with the territory. I'm thinking maybe I can trick them to stay on their own side of the house. My building will be within walking distance of our house, and I want a brick path leading to it. Of course I'll need lots of lights out there for dark nights when I have to walk across the yard by myself. I'm sure he won't build me a tunnel between our house and my building. I'll have to work on him for that one ~ So if you have any ideas, please let me know, as I'm going to need lots of help pulling this one off. Better yet, just tell him I need it because I'm kind of chicken out here in the dark.

I want it to look like like an old school house, with a red metal roof, and his Grandmother's big old iron dinner bell on top of it. I want barn wood siding on three sides and red brick on the back wall. We have two old barns that need torn down and I don't want them to go to waste, so I could save him lots of money by using materials that he already has. Although I know I'm going out on a limb and asking him to tear down those two barns and build me half a barn in the next couple of months, but maybe he'll do it. He loves me after all. ... and I birthed his triplets, and he kind of owes me. A lot. That was hard work.

Yes, I know exactly what I want. I already have it pictured in my mind. I want 10 foot walls, and I know that I want 6 double paned windows running along each side, more towards the ceiling line. I want the back half of the building to be vaulted inside, and the front side, I want a closed loft for storage. I want old wood plank flooring painted cream, and I want the whole inside drywalled. I need a walk-in closet for changing, and a tiny little office for me to move all my jewelry making paraphernalia out there. Oh, and I need a small bathroom. Just a toilet and sink will do. Nothing fancy in that room.

The man is in denial. Denial that I really know exactly what I want, and I'd better add that he's sorta in shock too. Yes, he's in shock that I would even want a building. I'm sure he's thinking more on the line of something cheap and something small. I'm thinking on the line of something big. Real big! When I first mentioned it, he blew me off. He ignored me and pretended that I didn't exist. He put his fingers in his ears and ran when I said, "hey, you got a moment?" That was the first clue that I was up to something. He didn't come home all day and screened my calls. I think he thought I'd forget, but I'm not that old yet, and every once in a while I do still remember things for longer than an hour. Plus, I keep a running list these days .... and B.U.I.L.D.I.N.G. is at the top of my list. So how could I forget even if I wanted to?

He knew I was serious when I got out the telephone book and started calling around to find me a carpenter. He's slowing coming into acceptance about this building, but he's fighting it tooth and nail. I ask him for the carpenters' phone number that build a big new barn for us a couple of years ago. He said he didn't have it. I ask him if he would be able to find it if HE NEEDED SOMETHING built .... and he put his fingers in his ears and then he ran away. After I found him hiding out in the barn behind a big bale of hay, I ask him where I could buy metal, and guess what? He didn't know. I ask him which lumber company to call and get an estimate, and he didn't know of any lumber companies. Then I ask him if he loved me, and he stuck his fingers in his ears again and took off running! He's not falling for that trick ~

After a couple of hours, he called me on my cell phone. He said, "I only have one question to ask you." I said, "what's that?", and he said, "how you going to pay for this building and do you have any money to build it?", and I said, "that's two questions." .... and I stuck my fingers in my ears and stood there and ask him again, "Honey, do you love me?"

We'll see .....

Be Blessed Everyone ~

Who's Smart? .... and Who's Not?

I have a problem. A problem with Marlboro Man. Yesterday he was complaining that he can't take it .... standing in the bathroom for 30 minutes while they potty. It really gets to him!

Standing? Who stands? Not me! I sit on the edge of the bathtub and eat M&M's while they sit on the potties and eat M&M's! I tell them stories and we play "What Color is this M&M?" game while we munch all the yellow ones! We also play ... "One for Me, and One for You!" That means I get a M&M for every one they get ... Whoa! That's 3:1. He stands and stares at them ... well duh, I wouldn't pee either if someone was standing there tapping their foot and counting the minutes and wouldn't feed me M&M's!

Take a chill pill dude! Oops .... meant pop a M&M man! Or, to pass the time, he could sit on the edge and take advantage of all thirty toes lined up and clip their toenails!

Who's Smart? ..... and Who's Not?

Be Blessed!

It's Hot Baby!

A couple weeks ago, Marlboro Man made mention that we need to buy a new Van. He did this knowing perfectly well that I would jump right on it! I instantly started looking. I've called all the dealerships, and now have three salesmen in competition who are calling me on my cell phone every day, just to check in and see how the babies are, and root me on. Mainly, I think they're trying to get me in there. Once they reel you in ... you've got the bug to buy and their chances are better of selling. And I love to buy! I'm sure I told them that in our first conversation when I told them my life story.

Marlboro Man, on the other hand, is so tight he'd dehydrate before spending fifty cents on water. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just how he is. Me, well, I couldn't keep a dollar if my life depended on it. I want that new van. At this point, I want it real bad.

There is nothing wrong with the van we have now. We bought it brand new three years ago. It's a 2005 model, low mileage (who goes anywhere when you have triplets?), almost perfect condition if all the crumbs were cleaned out. But when we bought it .... I confused the salesman and we ended up buying one without rear air or rear heat, and the kids get too hot and it's too cold in the winter.

I was pregnant with them and on complete bed rest, in and out of the hospital almost every few days for hydration when we decided it was time to buy a van. We'd gotten over the shock and realized that, yes, we're really having triplets, and no, my car wasn't big enough for three infant carseats and all the stuff we'd need just to go anywhere. So we went to buy a van.

We drove into a dealership and parked up by the front door. Marlboro Man got out and instantly a salesman ran out the door to greet us. I couldn't walk and had to stay in the car. We bought our van without driving it, or without seeing it actually. It was almost dark. Being tight, MM ask the salesman which one was the cheapest. The young man started telling him the differences in the different packages, and MM interrupted him and said, "no, which one is the cheapest here?" The kid got a real funny look on his face and said, "you mean the whole car lot?" That was exactly what MM meant. I leaned over, as much as I could, and said, "I DON'T WANT IT!" I knew I would have that van for life and I at least wanted a radio!

After much talking about options and such and what was available, we made a decision. We were going to buy a goldish color new van. Suddenly, like I do frequently .... I had a episode of OCD, and ask him if there was a red one. When he said, yes ... I said, "I'll take that one!" ... and it was months later before we found out it didn't have rear air.

Last night I told MM that I found a new van I liked and thought we should go in and look at it. He said to me, "I was thinking. I think I can solve the air problem." (yeah right boy, what's your idea?) He said to me, very seriously, "You know that fan you bought a couple of years ago to put on the tractor, the one that plugs into the cigarette lighter?, We can use one of those and I can mount it up high to blow on them!" The man is dead serious! Dead. Serious.

My answer to him, "I have a better idea .... why don't you buy a DC converter and a box fan at Wal-Mart, they're on clearance right now for $11.00 and you can stand it up between the seats!" I am NOT dead serious! Not.

This weekend we're going to look at a new van! One that has rear air, and I am not going to have a episode of OCD in front of the salesman.

... as always, be blessed!