Sunday, March 2, 2008

Free Milk

First of all, I have the flu. A really bad case of it. My head is so stopped up, water is running from my eyes and dripping from my nose like a faucet. My temperature about an hour ago was 101.8. I feel miserable, nauseated and chilling .... and I have this nasty cough that makes me bark like an empty Seal. I'm not even going to tell you what happens to my bladder during the coughing fits. Put it this way, after having seven kids, and and the last three of them at the same time, it isn't pretty during the flu. So what does this have to do with "free milk" you ask?

Tonight Marlboro Man took care of the kids and got them to bed while I was bundled up in our bed under the covers freezing to death, sucking on a cough drop with a snot rag under my nose. After a bit, he came in there and laid down in the bed beside me. Well, he wasn't exactly beside me, he was clinging onto the edge of the pillow top by his toe nails and was turned away from me. I hate to burst his bubble .... but he's already been exposed.

He said to me, "I've been downstairs looking at pasteurizers on the internet. I think I'm going to buy one." You all know we're dairy farmers and have a bunch of lactating cows don't you? I had to uncover my head and ask him to repeat that statement. I couldn't have possibly heard that right. He just has to be kidding.

All I could muster out was, "I don't like real milk. It's too rich and creamy. I can't drink that." Then he proceeded to tell me that all I had to do was dip off the cream and it would be just like the 2% milk from the store. And guess what he suggested I do with the cream? (see the above picture)

I might be "The Dairy Wife", a domesticated goddess, who was transplanted to farm life, .... but not even "I" love that man that much. No Way. Did he not think it was enough that I birthed three children at one time and made him a Father when I was already a Grandmother?

Then he laid the guilt trip on me .... for the betterment and health of our children. Like that would work with me. I know where milk comes from. I don't care what Marlboro Man says. Milk comes from Sam's Club .... I know. I bought six gallons of it recently. It does not come from the Cows on our farm ... and not out of that huge stainless steel tank that holds a few thousand pounds of white stuff that is housed in a building somewhere down the road.

Then I had a coughing spasm, and accidently aimed it at him .... and he fell out of bed!

The butter churn in the picture was Marlboro Man's Grandmother's. I think. Or even further back. I wasn't here then, and I really don't know. I just know that Mom gave it to MM before she passed away, and I really love it. But, I don't love it enough to use it. Does he think I'm nuts .... it doesn't even have a plug-in!

Be Blessed Everyone.