"Shakey Snake"

Meet "Shakey." The Snake. Today as I was leaving for work, he graced me with his presence right along side my car door, and I couldn't bring myself to jump over him or walk around him for fear that he'd move. So I did the only thing I could do ... stand a safe distance away with my camera and present him with a portrait of himself. I did throw a few rocks, but he wouldn't budge.

You do know that he really wasn't that big. It's amazing how good a zoom lens can be. Brought him right up front and personal didn't it?

I told him that love don't live here anymore and he needed to move on down the road ... and he stuck his tongue out at me. Now I have the shivers! I really don't like snakes and I can't believe that I stood there and took pictures of him.
He hit the road and I hope he doesn't come back. Ever.

This evening I told the kids about him and showed them the pictures. I tried to make it educational and a safety warning all in one. They didn't get it. Not at all.

So I did the best next thing. I told them that Shakey Snake came and visited us today. He smiled a lot and wanted some corn to eat. I told them that the cows wouldn't share their dinner with him because he had his own corn at his own home: Uncle Darrel's. ... and Aunt Dana had dinner ready for him and he had to go home because it's warm in their house. I told them that maybe next time we go visit Uncle Darrel and Aunt Dana, maybe Shakey will be there too. I told them that Shakey stuck his tongue out at me, and he left before he had to sit in time-out. Then I told them that Shakey really was a good snake and he wouldn't hurt anyone, but his brother is really mean ... and they look just alike, just like Daddy and Uncle Don look alike ... so they can't ever touch any snake because we won't know if it's really Shakey or not. ... and they didn't get it.

Then Jay said, "but if it's a baby snake, I can put it in my pocket and keep it." To which Meg replied, "Jay, he can sleep in your bed, it's so warm, and he will eat your corn."

Wouldn't it have just been easier and better if I had just skipped all the storytelling? I hate to say ... if Shakey or his brother moves in, ... I'm moving out!