The Bed

Okay ... this really isn't funny, but I have to tell someone about this.

Two months ago when we were deciding what to do about Meg's bed when we moved her out of the boys room ... we went bed shopping for her.  This was before we decided to use the antique bed that is a permanent fixture upstairs.

Anyway,  Von and I went to a bed store and we were looking at twin beds ... then moved on up to Queen size so she could grow into it and, well ... you know the story.  The salesman was really good.

We, meaning I ... spotted  the most awesome luxious bed I've ever seen.  The mattress was beautiful.  King size.  Plush.  Soft.  Memory foam.  Expensive.  No flip.  Exquisite.  Tall.  Almost need a ladder, and did I say very expensive.  It was way out of our budget ... plus we weren't shopping for us a bed, because we  do not need a bed, and we were on a mission for the princess.

We have a very nice comfortable Queen size pillow top that is to die for when you're really really tired.  Plus, our bed has sentimental value.  My water broke in that bed ... not only once, but twice in the night before our triplets were born.  Thus, we now have a very big and beautiful starburst stain right in the middle.  How could we possibly give that up?!

So I talked Von into laying on it ... and Von never makes a comotion in public, let alone would he EVER lay down on a bed in a busy store.  But he did.  Boots and all.  Then I laid on it.  Right beside him, and we giggled and he laughed, then he caught himself and got up before anyone saw us.

I have to admit .... I am the most compulsive person I know.  Von, on the other hand, is the most conservative person I've ever met ... and he never makes rash insane decisions, especially one that would involve a bed that is completely out of our league, especially when we don't need one.

So he wrote the check.  Only after I had him convinced that we would have so much more room.  He would never have to hang onto the edge again.  The main selling point to him was, if you can't keep them out ... make room for them.  Them, being the kids.  You see ... every single night they migrate to our bed.  We are totally unaware of it until all five of us are sweating like monkeys in a tin can from body heat and lack of room.  They've learned to get in the middle, after falling out several times, and before we gave in and put kids rails on our bed.  We really did.  .... They kick us and each other ... then they wake up fighting and we have to start all over.

So let's fast forward to now.  Last week, two months later, I had the bed delivered.  Keep in mind that I live in an old farmhouse with straight up narrow stairs.  Five years ago we had to have the bed hoisted up through a window because the queen box springs would not go up the stairs.  So, what made us think that a King deep box memory foam mattress would.  What possessed my rational husband to even remotely think that we could do this?

The bed people store sent two delivery men.  One being about 100 pounds soaking wet and the other being about 400 pounds that snorted when he breathed and whistled for lack of oxygen.  The skinny one gulped and the fat ones eyes bulged and turned red when they saw the narrow stairway.  But I had a plan.

"Hey Delivery Man ...  can you just bend that mattress a bit like a ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and force it up those stairs ... and leave the plastic on it please, so it doesn't get dirty?"

They weren't thinking straight.  The fat man ended up on top and the little skinny guy was on bottom.  It is not supposed to work that way ... and they couldn't trade places.  The only way down for the fat man was to get the mattress to the top because he couldn't jump over it ... and he couldn't go around it.  So he tugged and pulled and tried to bend it, and he heaved and ho'ed and sweat was pouring off of him ... and I got worried.  The little skinny guy at the bottom of the stairs was pushing with all his might, and we weren't going anywhere, so I called Von to come home to try to figure out how to get the mattress unstuck from the stairwell.

Just as Von walked in and looked up at me looking over the wall .... the mattress gave, and the fat man fell back against the wall and gasped for air.  Yes, I'm a nurse ... but no way was I going to give that guy mouth to mouth if he needed it.  No way.

Now we have a new King sized bed in our room ... and it's total glory.  I'm on the hunt for the perfect comforter now ... and would you believe that the kids suddenly stopped getting in our bed at night. 

How'd we get our Queen bed down you ask ... we didn't.  We ended up giving it to Meg and did away with the antique bed in her room.  She sunk in the middle of the feather mattresses and they swallowed her up and she didn't like it.  So now, it's standing up again in the corner of her room.

As soon as I find that perfect comforter, I'll take some pictures to show you!