First Christmas in Heaven

This was sent to me this morning by someone who reads my blog.  Thank you Mary, it's beautiful and so comforting.  This is my first Christmas without my Mother and my Dad and MaryAnn.  We lost all three of them within six months. 

               MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,

With tiny lights like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.

    The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear,

 For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear,

But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.

   I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

     For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,  I see the pain in your heart,

          But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.

 So be happy for me dear ones, you know I hold you near,

And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above:

           I send you each a memory of my undying love.

        After all, “Love” is the gift more precious than gold.

       It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

     Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,

       For I can’t count the blessings or love He has for you.

         So have a Merry Christmas, and wipe away that tear.

Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Three Peas in a Pod ...

My dear friend Peggy gave the kids their first Webkinz, and they love Leo, Harry and Freida!  Yes, I fibbed a bit.  I told them Peggy said they had to sit together and smile for a picture if they wanted to keep them.  It was very painful for them as you can see, but they really wanted to keep their new pets!

First Day of Big ... Class of 2023

Yesterday was the last day of LITTLE and today was the first day of BIG!  Today ... my Littles started Kindergarten, and in a decade plus a few years, they will graduate high school with the Class of 2023.

 (Waiting on the Bus)

This morning was exceptional and I woke them up at 6:30 with a plan to be on the bus at 7:10.  For the first time, they got themselves ready and with backpacks on, we actually were standing at the end of the driveway at 7:05.

We've decided to do breakfast at school every morning so that I don't have to get them up at 5:30 and get them all awake and hungry.  We figure that after a short bus ride they can eat with all of their friends.

A Great Day

It has occurred to me over the last week as I've recovered from a pretty intense surgery, just how blessed I am.  For the most part, I've been alone in my house since I've come home from the hospital, and in between my haze, halluncinations and delusions, I've had quite a bit of time to think.


I'm not used to being here alone.  Von, of course, has checked on me frequently throughout the day and night, and at times, I think he has been convinced that I wasn't going to live.  I too thought that I was going to just lay down and die.  I thought of my Mother in her final days and imagined that she felt just like I did.  I dreamed of her.  I visited with her.  I saw me hugging her.  I spoke with her and I heard her voice tell me that everything is okay.  I felt like I was on the inside looking out at my life in a very strange sort of way.  It's so funny how pain medications can effect certain people.  I can not take them.  Strangely, the pain is more tolerable than the effects to me.

At five o'clock this morning I woke up nose to nose to a sleeping little boy on my pillow.  I laid there and looked at him and wondered how I could miss a week of his life.  I felt guilty for pawning my children off on relatives while I slept off the effects of pain medications.  There were times that I wasn't even aware of them being in the room with me, and the time I let a popsicle melt all over me while I slept sitting up.

I was close enough to smell him and reach out and kiss his cheek without moving.  Then with his eyes still closed, he smiled and said, "This is a great day."

Today is going to be a great day!  I am loved.

Jay ... What Can I Say!

This kid .. the kid that never wants his picture taken begged this evening.  Then when he popped up on the rock, he said, "Sooo ... if I sit here and let you take my picture, do I get a treat?  If I smile and let you do it five times, do I get five treats?"  (that means five clicks .. and only five clicks ... he has good ears)

So I said, "Well ... if you go put on some different clothes and let me take your picture the way I want to, I'll let you have five treats."  (that means five little bitty pieces of candy)

Then he said, "Oh forget it Mom ... you're just not worth it!"  Then off he hopped and ran off to his world of Camo, farming and a dog named Gus!  (that means he'll sneak in the house and get the candy anyway)

So .. I'M NOT WORTH IT?!!

Dear Meg - You Lost a Tooth!

Dear Meg,

You lost your tooth this evening.  The very first one to come out was the first one that came in back when you were a baby.  A simple tooth shouldn't make me so emotional .. but it does.  It makes me stop and think about how you are growing up so fast, and right before my eyes.  I love having you little.  Simply.

You were at Aunt Bonnie's this evening when this major event happened.  I missed it.  But when you came home, you were so excited and told me every detail over and over ... then you went on to tell me exactly how the tooth fairy comes and brings you a dollar.  You brushed your teeth so good and checked them to make sure they were shiny so she could look in your mouth, and see the little hole, so she would know it was really your tooth.  I love your reasoning ... just as much as I love you.  You always figure it out.

So in the morning when you wake up ... under your pillow along with a gold dollar coin will be a letter to you.  A love letter from me written on the pretty stationery that I bought in anticipation of this day.  Forever long as I live, in many years to come, I hope, you will see this little tooth again, and only then can you read the letters that you'll have from me .. along with each little tooth wrapped in gauze and placed inside the envelope.  Timed and dated with a rundown of your day today!

Yes, I'm overly sentimental ... and yes, your little tooth is not the first little tooth that I have saved, and your letter is not the first one that I've written over something as silly as a little white tooth.  I have a whole packet of little teeth just like yours ... saved from over twenty years earlier of the little teeth Josh, Juli, Joey and Jared had lost when they were little.

Happy Dreams Meggie!  I love your new smile!

Love,   Mom

Graduation - The Littles - Chapter 15

Dear Littles,

I guess you're really not little anymore are you?  But to me, I guess you always will be.

You graduated a couple of weeks ago.  Although you will have several or many more graduations and milestones in your life, this one really was so important.  You see, it is the beginning of your life.  Your life outside of me.  Not your physical birth, but your birth into the world.  Your life away from me ... and you will go happily and you will see all the wonders of the world through your own eyes.  You will spread your wings and find the YOU that will emerge into citizens and you will leave your mark.  You will be going to Kindergarten in the Fall ... whether I'm ready or not, you are.

I molded you, and it is breaking my heart that I have to let you go.  Five years wasn't nearly long enough to prepare me for this.  Even though I've been through sending my children off to school before, this feels fresh, and I don't want to do it.

Because I want what is best for you, I do want you to grow up and be normal and make life long friends.  I want you to be smart and learn all that you can ... and I want you to make your mark.  I want it to be deep and strong and always be there.  I want your children to look back and know who you were and know that you were good people.

But for today ... I want you to be my babies, and I want to hug you up and smell you and close my eyes and remember you in all your innocence.

I Love You So Much!

Mom

T-Ball! Strike Three!

We have one more game left in this season ... and you guys are awesome.  We don't have to lead you out to the field this year, and we don't have to run the bases with you and hold your hands.  You're doing just fine being one fourth of the team.  You have got it going!

The best part of playing ball is the dirt right out beyond second base, right along with that free freezer pop at the end of the game!

Flowers from Heaven

Meg, 

This evening we went over to the farm, and as you ran out into the flowers you said, "Oh Mom, Look!  God made all these flowers just for me to blow."

I hope you'll always find the flowers in the weeds.  God made them just for you!

Love,   Mom

The Girls

Today was a good picture taking day.  The stinking boys went to the stinking farm with their Dad and Uncle Don, so it was it just us girls.

Kelcie and Megan neither one hesitate to seize the opportunity to have their picture taken.  It's a bit harder these days though because they have to pose, smile, fake it, swing it and hip it.  I have the hardest time catching any kind of natural smiles with them, and of course they're in it together! 

Then the "girliness" in them comes out.  Weeds!  You want me to walk through those weeds?!!!  Then the "itichiness" starts and we're pretty much done.  Once you itch ... it's over you know!

So these have to do.  It's my fix for the next couple of weeks until they're together again.

The Hot Tub

I'm not sure if we're having Spring or not ... or if we've just moved right on into Summer.  At any rate, it's beautiful outside in the evenings, and my littles are loving it.  This evening was no different and Von decided to till up some of the garden and let the kids start planting their seeds.  They planted Cucumbers and an assortment of other things.  We're hoping that like things got planted together and we won't have Carcumbers and Cumatoes and such when it comes time to harvest our garden.  My boys had enough sweat and dirt on them that if we'd planted them, they'd have sprouted and grown.

Being that a bath was definitely in order tonight, I thought I'd change things up from the usual shower that their Dad gives them and we'd sit in the Hot Tub together and talk about our garden. Just like we did in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago.

Just me and the kids ... and more bubbles than you can imagine.  Up to their chins and as hot as they could tolerate, they sat there, one in each corner ... and we played tootsies with each other while we talked about our garden and listed vegetables and fruits and what all they planted and what was yet to plant.  We talked about the sunshine and how it makes everything grow.  Then they talked about Heaven and how they could plant things that would grow so tall they could climb up.  They planted beautiful flowers and colorful vegetables and they grew so big that we couldn't lift them.  Then they leaned back their heads on the ledge and soaked up the conversation, and never once did they splash each other.  I couldn't help from watch them and listen to them as they talked amongst themselves and only occasionally did they include me in their garden plans.  I thought about how innocent kids are at the age of five and how easily they can be persuaded and how with imagination you can lead them.

Then it dawned on me that here I sit with my babies, totally immersed in water and bubbles, caught up in their childish plans in one of the most peaceful moments I've ever had with them.  It reminded me of my older kids, and the times when they were small and I'd take them on walks and adventures through a secret forest where the deer lived and played, and up hills and down mountains where the Indians lived.  How we turned coat hangers into bows and arrows, and how we quietly found magic flowers and sprinkled fairies in the air.  Then we'd tiptoe away so the magic wouldn't end.  How when you love someone, you can pretend and make memories that they'll never forget.

Then a knock on the door brought me back to reality and our time was up.  As the bubbles drained away, the Bath Tub appeared and our Hot Tub was gone ... for now.

The Bribe

This morning at 7:30 my kiddo's got in my bed and we snuggled and tickled and talked about "things."  Then I told them ... "Hey guys, who wants a dollar?"  Well of course they wanted a dollar, and they wanted to go to Rural King to spend it!  So I bribed them.  IF they get dressed right now and go outside and let me take some pictures before Church ... I'll give them a dollar!  We're into paper money now days .. so it's a real big deal to get a dollar.  Only thing is, they had to earn it ... and that meant wading through the wet weeds to get out to the barn.

Jay.  Money means the most to him.  He'll do anything for money.  He has three jars full and is starting on another jar.  Jay is a hoarder of money ... and it takes a lot for him to spend it.  He doesn't live by the rule of:  save a third, give a third to Jesus and spend a third.  He only wants to save all of it and spend ours or Sam's and Meg's money.  He's going to need to be deprogramed when he grows up.  He's a lot like his Father in that respect.

Sam.  He LOVES money.  It buys him everything.  He couldn't keep a penny if his life depended on it.  He's too much like me in that respect ... and he's going to need to be reprogrammed to save some of it.  He doesn't per say spend it on stuff, because we all know he can't drive to Target and do his thing ... but he loses it.  He moves it around from his backpack to his pants pockets, to burying it in the sandbox, then it finds it's way to Jay's jar.  It's miraculous how it gets there ... but it does. ... and you know the rule:  possession is everything in Jay's book.

Meg.  What's money?  She doesn't need it.  A dollar won't do her a bit of good because everything that she wants cost more than she is allowed to spend.  Walking the aisles with Meg is like the biggest guilt trip I've ever experienced.  She fingers and touches and strokes everything that is pink, and wants everything that is remotely girly.  ... and she hasn't learned the meaning of the word NO yet.  We're working on that.  Meg is bad at leaving her money lay around the house, and it too mysteriously disappears.

So today I got some pictures of them that I can print and frame ... and Jay got THREE DOLLARS and they all ended up with a really big bouncy ball to add to the collection out in the yard!  It was a WIN WIN situation for all of us!

Daddy-O!

Okay Folks ... I think we're in trouble here!

Yesterday evening when I picked the Little's up from daycare, there were three papers in their daily pile for me to look at, sign and return. They were consents for their preschool to give information to the school system since they will be heading off to Kindergarten in the Fall. It was for THE "Kindergarten Readiness Checklist." So it got me to thinking .... "Well, are they ready?"

So this morning as I was driving them to Preschool, I thought I would ask them a few questions, just to test the waters and see how much my kids knew.

ME: "Hey Guys ... do you know what town we live in?" They all practically jumped through the straps of their carseats with hands in the air yelling, "I DO ... I DO"

So I picked Jay to answer that question. He grinned all over himself and his chest swelled, and he blurted out the answer with the biggest smile! "We live in the Country." No Jay! What's the name of the town ... it starts with a "O" (thinking I would give him a hint).

Still swelled up and smiling, he says, "On a Farm." Oh man ... we're flunking that question big time! So I tell them .... Oakland City, Indiana and they repeat it over and over and I think WE HAVE got it!

ME: "What is your Dad's name?" Sam blurts out, "Daddy." No Sam ... HIS REAL NAME? So Sam thinks a minute and Meg has her hand in the air ready to answer for him, then Sam puffs up and his eyes are twinkling and he says, "It's Daddy-O!" Oh Man ... we have failed!

So I remind them ... it's Von Siekman, just like you are Sam Siekman, Jay Siekman and Meg Siekman. We're all Siekman's! So they repeat it over and over and over ... and I think WE HAVE got it now!

ME: "What number would you call if Mommy or Daddy was hurt and you needed to get help here?" It's Meg turn to answer, and boy is she ever ready to show her stuff! She sticks her chin up in the air and yells out, "9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20" She forgot the question and just kept right on counting!!!! So I tell them ... "Remember, it's 9-1-1. So they keep saying it over and over and over, and I know they have it now!

Kindergarten is right around the corner and we have some work to do! BECAUSE ... ready or not ... School, here we come!

Baseball Season - Kick Off 2010

This evening was our first T-Ball practice of the year. Actually last Wednesday was, but we were in St. Louis. So .. tonight it's official, the triplets played ball. Yes, our farm is sponsoring their team again this year ... so "The Siekman Dairy Farms" team is AKA "The Texas Rangers", and we're going to kick some butt this year!

I didn't have to drag them out there or promise things that I had no intention of following thru on (I only do that in emergency situations. Bad Mom, I know) They were excited and never looked back. It was a world of difference from last year when we had to hold their hands and run the bases with them in the beginning!

Jay was the best hitter tonight. He smacked that ball almost every time. Sam thinks he was the best of the triangle, and came in a close second. There is competition folks. It keeps it interesting, and I kind of like it that way.

Meg is girly, but she was excited and played 100% better at this practice than she did the whole last season. Dressed to kill with the big pink bow ... she hit the ball, ran the bases, checked her fingernail polish and made sure she didn't have any dirt on her shoes! Way to go Meg!

After the practice we ran by Aunt Bonnies/Uncle Don's on the way home so they could show them how good they could smack that ball off of the Tee! One more practice next Tuesday evening and then we're going head on to the big league!

We'll keep you posted as the season progresses!

Fair Share

This afternoon after Von went to milk cows, I settled the kids down with a new movie. I'm trying really hard to get them away from cartoons and more into movies that have a bit of meaning. So I picked the movie to buy today, and I bought it because it is Joey's all time favorite book. "Where the Red Fern Grows".

While Jay and Meg didn't get into the movie, and went to sleep instead .... Sam, on the other hand, didn't miss one single word of the entire movie. In fact, we watched it twice. Sam is deep. Deep in thought, and spiritually deep.

At the part of the movie when the Grandfather told Billy to think about his fair share and indicated that God would provide, Sam understood that. He perfectly explained it to me, and when it happened in the movie and God moved the wind to fall the tree .... Sam told me that God did it because Billy had done his fair share.

Today Sam developed a new trust in God, a new understanding and a new love of life.

He walked out onto the back porch where "Sammy" his old boxer sleeps most of the days now, and said to her, "Sammy Girl, I love you and you are my best friend, and I know God will always take care of you." He's wise. So wise for a five year little boy that loves God and his dog.

Sammy our boxer is really old ... and this winter she almost died. When Sam found her, it saved her life. She was half frozen, very sick and hurt. With a lot of tender loving care and medical attention Sammy survived. Every day Sam talks to her, rallies for her and pushes her on. He draws pictures for her and writes her letters and tapes them to the wall where she can see them. Every day.

I know the time is coming that Sammy is going to go to Dog Heaven, and my little Sammy is going to be devastated. I'll need that mythical Red Fern that only angels can plant when the time comes ... and I'll need to find a way to ease the heartache that my little guy is going to feel.

Sam is doing his fair share ... and the rest will be up to God.

My Velveteen Boy

My velveteen boy betrayed me this evening.

It was so pretty outside today when I picked the kids up, we dressed them in their bib overalls and "orange, so that I can see you a mile away" sweatshirts and sent them out to dig up the yard! That is Sam and Jay's favorite pastime ... especially in the Spring when the ground is so soft. There is nothing like holes and piles of dirt everywhere. Our yard shrieks that "boys live here" and you have to be careful when where you walk so that you don't fall in a hole.

My littlest boy is now big enough to go outside and play with the big kids, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He runs and romps and keeps up with everyone just fine. He is now ruler, and when he runs his ears pin back and flap in the wind. His fur is soft and he feels like fat velvet ... but this evening he went missing, and we searched everywhere thinking the very worst.

Then as I was walking back from the pond ... I spotted him alone in the barn. He was having the time of his life as his short little legs jumped in the wet straw. He was burrowing as deep as he could in the muck and he only stopped long enough to glance at me as I yelled .... "Gus, get out of there!" He was on a mission ... and that was to make sure that every inch of his body was covered in the black slime.

My sweet little velveteen boy has betrayed me ... he has found life beyond me. The same world that my little boys live for ... a world of dirt and mud, and slime and cow poop!

Bowling Baby Bowl!

Today I met up with my big kids ... yeah again. This is getting to be a habit. It really wasn't them I was caring about today ... but the cute little kids in the car seats was what had me going. We went bowling!
The reason I'm showing you the scoreboard is because I wanted you t see that the girls beat the boys. (I was on the boys team ... with all the boys). We had a lot of gutters.
I really don't think I've seen a bowling score like this ... Is 65 really that low? Next time me and the boys are going to nail Juli and the girls.
Here's Meg and Jay showing off their "gutterballs." It was neck and neck for a while .. but Jay's got there first!
In this corner is Jay and Sam. They have good technique don't you think? ... and by the way, don't let that picture fool you, they really didn't knock down all those pins. I did. (well .. maybe, Juli did) I can't remember because I was having too much fun "high-fiving" the kids and taking pictures.
They "high-fived" each other every gutterball they rolled!
They also got quite good at posing every single time they got up to bowl. We didn't do it the traditional way either. By all means, that wouldn't have been a good thing since we had so many rookies! We took turns. The kids got a turn .. went to the end of the line and we kept rotating!
Luke finally started getting pretty good at it. He had that bend over and put the ball between your legs and roll thing down pat. But of course, he had to pose with the ball first!
... and Kelcie, well she just had all the moves as well!

Today was a great day! We all went out to eat together and I got to spend it with those that I love the most. Josh and Jessie cheered us on while they kept an eye on Carter and Juli kept the balls rolling and the kids moving ... and me, well ... I just had fun with my babies!

In three weeks, we're going bowling again .. this time, Paige, Hayley and Cloe will get to be with us.

Three Blind Mice

Three Blind Mice .... OR a Pack of Rats? What do you think?

This year they finally "got it" ... and wore these costumes in every store in the city today. They took it to the highest level of cuteness. They kept their sunglasses on ... and searched out every candy bowl! I love this age!

I'm sure this will be the last year of me dressing them as a triplet theme .... the boys looked down at their bellies and declared that they can't do PINK! It took a lot of fast talking to pull it off this year! But all the loot they got today and this evening was worth every bit of comments they endured as they danced and wiggled through Evansville today!

I was even nice today .... at least one thousand times I answered "YES" ... they are triplets. Now I'm going to go hide all the candy to keep tomorrow from being a repeat of today. No more sugar highs, and no more bouncing off the walls. Maybe they won't remember today ....

I love my little pack of rats!

Fired Up!

Last night Juli and Kelcie met up with me and the kids for a evening at "Fired Up."

They were a rowdy bunch, and we resorted to finishing up the painting and pottery just to get the kids out of there. A ceramic place and 4 five year olds just don't go hand in hand.

Trust me .... she might look all cute and cuddly, but she wasn't. Meg had more fun running everywhere than she did painting a cup and saucer lime green and hot grape!

Kelcie was doing just fine with her cereal bowl until we walked in ... and she instantly turned into a wild woman. Kelc and her BFF were in trouble!

Did I say these two were perfect angels? NOT They led the pack at first ... right before they got busted and grounded to their seats!

Most likely, we'll not be doing Fired Up for a long while ... it was not what I call a successful night out with my hoodlums ... especially since their cups and saucers and shananigan's cost me seventy-two dollars! Just think, I could have done a movie with popcorn and chained them to their seats! :)

The FarmHouse Kids: Bye Bye Training Wheels

Today was a great day! Blue skies and this. Today, my kiddo's lost their training wheels on their bikes.

Of course, this isn't the little kids .... but the big kid that taught them how to ride like a big kid. It's a monumental milestone when your kiddo's become big kids.

I knew from the very moment that we were going to have these kids .... that their Dad would teach them great things. He has so much patience with them, and his mission in life is to be the best Dad that they could ever have.

This afternoon, I was their cheerleader, as I stood outside with our video camera and watched them ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk. One after another, until they got it and kept on pedaling on out into the driveway. The boys did it perfectly the very first time ... Meg on the other hand would forget to pedal and kept falling over in the grass.

By next Summer, they'll want to be riding bikes over to the barn .... I'm just not ready for that!

P.S. We're having a birthday this coming Saturday .... and it's the number FIVE!