Josh and Carter

Dear Josh,

Anyone can be a Father .... but it takes a special man to become a Dad. I watched you last night with your kids at the skating rink and I watched how you held Carter and how you would bring him so close to your face and kiss his head. I loved seeing you do that.

Even though you've been a Father for four years now, and you've been a good one ... but now you're even better ... you are a Dad. It's so evident that your life revolves around your two little boys.

I couldn't get Luke to hold still long enough to even get a picture of his face. He was loving the party, the presents and the cake wasn't he? But that's okay ... he was having fun.

I love you Josh .... you're a good man with a heart of gold.

Love,

Mom

The Babe is Home

He is home. I spent the entire afternoon, evening and into the night visiting this little guy. I fed him, bathed him, changed him and photographed him. I love this picture the best.

My daughter Juli met me at Amy and Josh's, to gift Amy, with a total cleaning and reorganization of her entire house. Room by room we cleaned, organized and revamped. She was ecstatic. It was a fun day, and as tired as I was by the time I came home ... I just felt so good.

The highlight of all this was putting the finishing touches on Carter's room. His room is "classic pooh" and painted in Khaki and Sage. We decorated the walls and went through all the tiny little preemie clothes and baby things. We "toted" up by size, and arranged everything for her, so that all she has to do is take down one tote a time. Completely organized ... in a very pretty nursery for a very precious baby named Carter Joe.

I had saved everything from my babies in case another Grandchild came along .... and Carter happened to be the winner! As Juli said, "Wow Mom! Carter scored!"

Luke, who is three, was loving his baby brother being home. As was Buddy ... the dog. He "slept" on guard at the feet of whoever held Carter.

Then, during his 7:00PM feeding ... Juli was holding him and giving him his bottle, and he suddenly stopped breathing. I noticed the odd look on Juli's face from across the room as she was watching him. She calmly said, "Mom, is he okay?" I ran over there and took him from her. He was completely apneic. Not breathing. It's funny, it doesn't matter how long you've been a Nurse, or how much experience you have ... when something like this happens, and especially to your own child, you forget everything you know for a split second. I never thought I'd have to resuscitate my own grandchild. Just as I was about to start giving him breaths, he sputtered and started breathing again.

Of course, I called the Neonatologist in the NICU he had just come from. He felt sure that it was an isolated event due to gulping too much too fast and gave instructions to watch him for a couple more feedings, and keep him upright for about thirty minutes after each feeding. Or if he did it again, he would put him back in the hospital for a bit longer. We watched him, and he's perfectly okay. Let's just pray that he doesn't do it again. My heart can't take it.

Whew! Carter is okay. It was very scary ... and I got home in the wee hours of the morning. So today, I'm Mommy again, until the next visit with this little man that I love so much ... and his big brother Luke.

Be Blessed Everyone.

My Secret Date

I had a lunch date with this little man today. Of course I had to pay, he doesn't have a job yet, and he only had a quarter and a nickel in his pocket. He showed me.

He can't drive either, so his Daddy and Mommy had to bring him to meet me. He's a short little guy and has to sit in a car seat. But I like 'em short. The shorter the better. Usually the shorter they are, the cuter they are. And cuddly too! And he smelled soooo good! Just like a little man with a hint of baby lotion and powder.

He got out of the car and came running towards me with both arms outstretched and was yelling, "Grandma Tannie, I love you. Iloveyousomuch!"

I picked him up and twirled him around since I'm too big for him to twirl me. But someday ....

I kissed his cute little cheeks and told him how special he is and how much I love him and how I dearly love our special dates. I told him that it's our secret and we won't tell the "other" kids, and he can have all the treats today.

He is very into "alike things" right now .... so we both got a kids meal with milk, and he got both toys! He wouldn't share either, and I begin to see the light .... he's only three!

I watched him climbing over the seats and he started crawling under the table, and he was all puffed up and yelling, "look at me Grandma Tannie." I laughed at him and kept saying to his Mommy, "Oh he is so cute." I watched him spit his milk on the table and crunch up all his chips and drop them intentionally on the floor when his Daddy told him to stop it.

Then I watched the man of my dreams disappear and turn in to a melted down heap of three year old boy that was in trouble by his Daddy.

Then after he got in trouble, I got in trouble by his Daddy. His Daddy said to me, "Mom, you can't laugh at him. He has to sit here and eat. When you laugh at him, it just makes it worse. Geesh Mom, you should know better, you have three kids his age."

For a fleeting moment, I wanted to pout and throw myself on the floor and kick my feet on the wall. I was being corrected by my twenty-six year old son. He had forgotten all the times he embarrassed me at Pizza Hut and fell out of his chair and covered his hands over his face and layed on the floor curled up and yelling, "don't hit me Mom .... oh my god Mom, don't hit me. Please Mom .. stop Mom, don't hit me, just don't hit me!" I didn't hit him, but I did want to kill him! (the kind of kill Mom's do when they want to fall through the cracks in the floor and disappear).

Yes, I should know better ..... but I'm a Grandma Tannie! I have an excuse. I'm so in love with the little guy and he is so cute! He makes my heart melt, and he lovesmesomuch!

"Luke, next time we'll go without them. I have a car and it's bigger than yours and I can drive it. We'll both climb over the seats and crawl under the table and have fun! You can have my toy too!"

Be Blessed Everyone and Share the Love!

My Oldest Son

Josh & Luke

This afternoon Josh, Amy and Luke came out to visit. I was so happy to see them. I don't get to see Josh as often as the other kids because of his work schedule. So it was wonderful to get to give him a big hug in person instead of my daily phone call to him. Yes, I still talk to all my kids every day. I feel very out of sorts if I don't hear their voices at least once a day! I think it's a Mom thing! So we took pictures of his family and had a great afternoon.

Josh & Amy

We had a great visit! Amy cleaned me out of house and home. She loves to decorate and I can tell when she sees something that she'd love to have. So being the good Mom that I am, (he he) I pass it along to my kids. It's funny how I never miss a picture here and there, or something off a shelf that I once loved. It's kind of neat to give things to your kids ... and know that they appreciate it. BUT, I think the real reason Amy came today was because she'd heard of my adventure to Victoria's Secret! Hmmm, she was wondering what was in the bag for her! I love Amy, and Amy got her share! She left smelling very good! Juli was here last night and she must of called Amy and told her to get over to Mom's house, Mom had a meltdown at Victoria's Secret!

Luke

Luke of course got all my hugs and kisses. By the time we had a picture session, edited the pictures and printed them, he was ready to go. I'm sure Luke was asleep before they even drove down to the end of our road.

Be Blessed,

Tan