Happy Birthday Jared!

Dear Jared,

Today you're twenty-three years old. You were my baby for twenty years. Then you became my middle child in the course of three minutes. How blessed I am to have you.

As I sit here writing this birthday letter to you .... I smile. For I know, that you know, how much I love you. I am your biggest fan and one of your best friends, as well as your Mother. I'd go the extra mile for you and more. Beyond all limits, because I am your Mother ... and you are my son.

You came into this world in a blinding blizzard. You came easy and quickly, and were so beautiful and perfect. Except for the last three years, you have always been my baby. That was special to me. Although I love you all equally, you were special because I believed in my heart, I would never have another child.

As you grew I couldn't have ask for a better child. You caused me no worries and I have always been so proud of you. You didn't give in to peer pressure and you chose your path wisely. Now you're a teacher of man. I'm proud of that. You followed the path of education. .... and you chose to educate children.

As I sat here last night thinking of what I would write to you .... I thought of several things. I was reflecting back on your love of life. I remember how much you nurtured the animals in your life. How very much you loved them and had a bond with them. A wonderful light would shine in your eyes and your heart was so full.

I thought about the Mother's Day that you all bought me a bicycle. You were still a little boy, and way too small to ride such a big bicycle. I turned my back for one brief moment and you manged to hop onto that bike. How you kept your balance I'll never know. Time stood still for me, and I know I didn't breath, as I ran after you down a steep brick lined street. The crash at the bottom of that hill, at the time, was the worst thing I'd ever experienced in my life. The car shreeched to a halt at the same time you crashed the bicycle. From my point of view, I thought the car had hit you.

I'll never forget the feelings I had as I reached you laying unconscious on that hot pavement. I'll never forget the fear that washed over me when I couldn't wake you up. Standing there frozen in fear, I thought I had lost you forever. In my panic, I could only stand and scream, and make sure no one touched you until the ambulance came. But you were okay. A pampered night in the hospital and you were as good as new with only a few scrapes and bruises.

I learned in those few moments that life is precious, and in a heartbeat, it can be gone and change your course forever. We were lucky. God chose to keep you here and keep you perfect.

Now after all these years, I want to apologize for something I did to you. At the time, I thought it was funny ... and on occasion, I still do. I'm sorry for "zip-tieing" your arm to your bicycle in the garage. I made you cry and I laughed and took your picture. It was all in a joke. You thought so too until I wouldn't cut the strap and set you free. For that, I'm sorry. But I do have to tell .... you asked me to show you how that zip-tie worked and thought you were Houdini. Ha ~

Now you're a married man, much in love, and live in Mississippi. I miss you being physically close to me, but no matter where you are .... you'll always be right here in my heart and a phone call away.

I'm happy for you Jared. You're doing well in your life and again, I have no worries. Thank you for that.

Love always,

Mom

Chicken Frying Fool

All the kids were here last night ... and I was ordered to fry chicken. Lots of greasy fried chicken! We had a Happy Birthday Everyone" party since it's pretty rare to get everyone together these days. As it ended up all of my kiddo's ended up here and all the grandkids except Carter. He's a little snotty right now and was with his Mama. Today's Carter's birthday as well.

Today is Jared's birthday. He's twenty-four now. Unbelievable in my eyes. He was my baby until my little babies came along ... now he's my big baby! Last month Joey and Mariah had birthdays and Elissa's was in October! Juli and Josh will have to wait for the Summer "Everyones Birthday Party!"

Since Jared and Elissa didn't make it home for actual Christmas last week, we celebrated that too last night. The kids had a ball opening presents again. I can now say that Christmas is officially over for this year!

Happy New Year ~ 2009

Happy New Year Everyone!

I am sitting here all alone enjoying the peace and quiet and knowing that my littles are all tucked up in their beds sound asleep. I kind of miss the excitement of bringing in the New Year, but for this year, I think I'm enjoying knowing that everyone here is asleep.

Bring on the New Year with health and wealth and good times!

On a another note, I just talked to all my big kiddo's as well to wish them a Happy New Year! Here's the run down:

Josh - I believe my oldest son is at a party. He thinks it will help ease the loneliness and heartache that he's had lately with the breakup of his family. Mama doesn't believe in parties! They only get you in trouble. He has partial custody of Luke and it's been trying times the last few months or so to get through all the battle and bitterness that breakups can cause. He doesn't get Carter as much as he'd like, but as Carter gets older I'm praying that everything falls into place, for both Josh and Amy. So Happy New Year Josh ... Mama loves you even if I did get the big brush off just a few minutes ago when the bells were ringing! I understand ... I'm just your Mother! I have this feeling in my soul that Josh is in for some very big changes in his life and that he is on the verge of a very radical soul cleansing with God as his Pilot. My prayer and wish for Josh in this new year: Hope, Happiness and Trust in God.

Juli/Derek - Juli and Derek spent the evening with a few friends and all the kids. It sounds like they spent New Years Eve entertaining little folks! Juli said they played Wii and watched movies! It's been a good year for Juli. She married Derek this past August and not only did she find a wonderful husband ... she gained a beautiful little boyfriend named Landen. She's also been busy in school finishing her degree to become a Engineer. You go Juli! Derek works for a Coal Mine and can you just imagine being 6'6" and working underground!? That guy needs to go back and finish his Architect degree. One semester to go and he'll be done. I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy! My prayer and wish for Juli in this new year: Joy and Faith

Joey/Mariah - Joey called me at exactly midnight on the dot a little bit ago and I could barely hear him yelling at me. For the past three days, this kid has been out in Kansas City, MO with 16,000 other young adults at IHOP (International House of Prayer) at Mike Bickel's 'One Thing 2008' conference. Joey's words to me after telling me Happy New Year was, "Mom ... just listen to this! The concrete floor is shaking. There is over 16,000 people in this building praising and worshiping God at the same time. It's an eruption Mom!" How lucky am I that he chose to call his Mom to listen to it. Joey's dream is do an internship at IHOP for three months after graduating from St. Louis Christian College next year. Joey and Mariah will be getting married July 18th of this year and we have a lot of wedding planning to do. My prayer and wish for Joey in this new year is: Peace and continued love for God.

Jared/Elissa - They spent the evening in a more quiet manner with some friends. My kind of evening! They're settling into the "old married folks" routine. I like it that way ... I don't have to worry about them being out on the roads! Elissa has two years to go in Optometry school and they'll be moving back home. If all goes well, Jared will teach around home and Elissa will start a practice. I miss them so much. But I'll be seeing my Mississippi kids here this Saturday to celebrate Christmas and Jared's birthday. I promised that kid of mine some homemade fried Chicken ... now I've gotta keep my promise and follow through! It doesn't seem like they've been married for a year and a half. I'm still waiting for them to walk through the door like they did a lot while they were still in college. How does a Mom let her baby grow up?! My prayer and wish for Jared in this new year is: Strength and Love.

As a Mom to seven kids I think my prayer and wish for myself this coming year is all of the above. I'm praying for Hope, Faith, Love, Happiness, Strength, Joy, Peace, Trust and for my kitchen to be finished!

Do you have prayers and wishes for your kids and yourself? ... and may you all be blessed and have a wonderful New Year!

Tanya

Happy Birthday Josh

Dear Josh,

Today you are twenty-seven years old. Wow ... that just amazes me that all those years have gone by and you are grown up. It seems just like yesterday that you were born. I was young and clueless about Motherhood when you were born. I quickly learned. That instinct we Mother's have is internal, and comes from our hearts.

I'll never forget that overwhelming emotion of love I felt for the first time in my life the moment I heard you cry the very first time. You were here and you were mine .... and that would be forever. You were in NICU for a couple of days and I never left your side. The night you were born, I wrote you a poem ... I read those words today.

Early this morning, I read the letters I wrote to you while I was still carrying you, and it was as if I could go back in time all those years ago and remember that feeling. I wrote my first letter to you the day I found out that I was pregnant with you. Many followed through out that nine months and throughout your life. I looked at my first picture of you today. You were sucking your thumb, and you weren't even born yet. Someday I'll give you the book of letters that I've written to you. I'm just not quite ready yet to give them up. They carry a great piece of my heart, and there are times I like to read them.

Remember when you were a little boy and I used to read them to you? .... and you were so amazed and pretended that you remembered everything I wrote about. As I read them, you would talk along with me and tell me all about "whatever I was saying" to you. You were so animated, and talked with your hands and rolled your eyes and shrugged your shoulders just perfectly.

Here are a few of my best memories of things you did when you were a little boy ....

The real Easter bunny brought you a real little four-wheeler when you were only four years old. Your eyes were huge when you saw him come around the corner of the house riding your Honda 4-wheeler. You couldn't even talk. When the Easter bunny jumped off and took off running back to get another one for Justin and Ryan .... you jumped right on it!

I remember when you got a Sega Master System for Christmas, and you weren't even old enough to really play it yet. (yes, your Grandpa Keith spoiled you kids) But I was. You would sit by my side and watch and try to get to every level right along with me. The last thing you would say to me was, "Mommy, wake me up if you get there." .... and I did. What was I thinking? I would tiptoe in your room and carry you out of your room, still asleep, and lay you on the couch by me, and you would wake up and give me hugs because it made you so happy! That was in the 1980's ... I wouldn't do that today. I'm older and wiser and would never wake a sleeping child!

Do you remember when we practiced for a Earthquake .... and I kept you all home from school because we were supposed to have "the big one." I stored water and food and decided that if it came in the night, how would you know what to do? How would I get all four of you from your beds and out the door? How could I get you all down the stairs? I took the threat serious and meant business .... so we were going to have a "earthquake drill." For a couple of days, I repeated the procedure and explained that you were all to run down the stairs and straight out the front door and go across the road and hold on to that big tree, and no matter what ... don't let go of the tree because I would come and get you. I promised, because I am your Mother and I loved you more than anyone on earth. And we practiced, and you laughed and thought I was silly.

So, the time came to have the real drill, and I waited until you were all asleep and then I stood at the top of the stairs and yelled as loud as I could ....."EARTHQUAKE." ... and you were the only one that ran down the stairs, out the door and across the road and you hugged that tree like it was going to save your life. Juli, Joey and Jared all stood at the top of the stairs and screamed and cried and were terrified .... and at that moment, I realized how wrong I was to do this to you. But I did it because I loved you so much! I'm sorry for that now ... I must have scared you to death.

Do you remember when you duct taped the kids to your mattress and slid them down the stairs? I do ... I wanted to wring your neck.

Do you remember when you wrote a little play called "Shy Monster" and you were the director, the producer and the star? You read your play out loud. I still have that hand written play, and I love it.

Do you remember when you ramped your little truck through the upstairs window and thought that was the coolest thing in the world because it landed on it's tires and kept going? Again .... I wanted to wring your neck.

Do you remember when you got your drivers license and you ripped the door off of our van backing up with it open, and you brought it home and parked it behind the house with the wrecked side facing away .... like I wouldn't notice! Yeah right! I think I did wring your neck on that one ....

Do you remember when you got mad at me .... you would "separate." Just like Voltron ... or was that Transformers? Your face turned red and you shook all over until you "separated." Oh that was so cute!

Do you remember when I was paranoid about strangers because we lived by a highway .... and the test that you all had to take? What was it going to prove? I typed a test with 15 questions and scenario's about strangers knocking on our doors, and having car trouble, or wanting to use the phone, or just about anything I could think of. I tried to trick you, but I tried to be real and get the answer that I wanted. You flunked it. You all did. You would have let a stranger come in our house, give him gas, borrow the car, use the phone, etc... We did another test! I'll never forget how I had each of you sitting at the kitchen table going over each question and why it was dangerous. Do you ever have any doubts about my sanity? ... or is it Motherly love?

There are so many things about you and happy memories and funny stories, and I could keep writing until tomorrow. We'll save it for a day that we're together and we'll talk about those times when you were a little boy. Once you told me that you had the best childhood, and that meant the world to me, for I know that is because I made it good for you.

My children's birthdays are so emotional for me. They should be happy times, and they are, but I reminisce back to the days when you were babies and just little tykes and I was your whole world. I like to think about the fun times you had and all the experiences that made you who you are today.

Mainly, I'm so glad that you did not move away when you grew up, and you're just a stone throw away from me, and you're always just a phone call away. It's wonderful to pick up the phone and know that you'll always answer when I call.

Now you're a Daddy to Luke and Carter ... and I know you know what love is. Isn't it wonderful?

Happy Birthday Josh! You are so loved my son, and I so love being your Mother!

Love,

Mom