Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Just Blogging Away ...

I am fairly new to the blog world. In fact, up until three minutes ago I didn't know what Blog stood for. So I googled it.

definition of a blog: Blog is short for weblog. A weblog is a journal (or newsletter) that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. Blogs generally represent the personality of the author or the Web site.

All I really know is that blogging is addicting. It's so addicting that it now has me in trouble. But I am smart enough to recognize the warning signs of impending danger or erotic, no, I mean eratic behavior. I will know when to back off.

I am finding myself spending most of my free time standing in the corner in the dining room. I found out if I'm fast enough and I have a good connection, I can check my email for notification of a comment on my blog while Marlboro Man takes one of the kids to the potty. At times I can even read the comments and reply quickly to one or two of them before he comes out.

I am finding that I am being deceptive. As MM comes out of the bathroom, and it's usually with Sam, I trot over to the opposite corner and I ask him nonchalantly in my very caring Mother voice, "did you wipe his butt good with a wet wipe? You have to use a wet wipe so his butt doesn't get sore. Not just toilet paper." (you would think he would catch on to the wet wipe thing, but he doesn't ... he's a guy.) This buys me a few more minutes because he has to undress Sam to wash his butt, and Sam likes to do everything himself. When you're two years old, it takes a little longer. B-I-N-G-O! Back to my computer corner I run. I now have five minutes on my Blog!~ Deceptive, but it works!

I am finding that I am being sneaky. After Marlboro Man is out of the bathroom with Sam for a few minutes and is settled on the couch (out of sight) or reading a book to our sweet sweet triplets, I peek at my inbox. If I have a new notification, I have to come up with a plan to distract him. I make a loud noise and of course someone comes running. I pray that it's Sam instead of Jay or Meg, because they don't entirely buy the potty thingy yet .... But Sam, on the other hand, loves the potty. I take the opportunity to barely whisper in his ear, "you have to potty Sammy? Want a M&M?" Sam instantly starts in, "Me Potty Daddy" and starts running for Marlboro Man. This trick works 99.9 percent of the time. Marlboro Man thinks he's getting the best end of the deal by having to sit on the side of the bathtub and wait for Sam to poop. It beats doing the dishes! Sam knows if he can squeeze a little turd out ... he gets two M&M's. So you have to wait for the poop, and wait, and wait, and wait. More. Time. for. Blogging! Sam, you're my Man!

I am finding that my senses are super sensitive these days. I am so tuned in to the 'click' of my email from anywhere in the house. So. Tuned. In. It sounds like music to my ears! I just have to see who emailed me or who left me a comment. Plan 'C'. I don't even wait for Sam to come whizzing by this time. "Oh, Marlboro Man ... can you take Sammy to the potty? Hurry ... he has to pee! Hurry. I'd take him but I'm getting Jay a drink, and he wants you. I love you honey, you're terrific! Don't forget to ask him if he has to poop again! Okay?" Only once did Marlboro make a comment, and it was, "are you kidding me, he has to pee again?" I just shrug my shoulders, raise my eyebrows and give him the pity look, and, of course, pretend to be busy.

Then I have to check my stat-counter. The darn thing reminds me of the electric meter on the house. I have to see how fast the hits are coming in. I'm totally obsessed with my stat-counter. I'm looking for a better one, one that will just announce "visitor 42,845" with a big Ding. When I figure out where to get one ... I'll let you know! You can get one too!

Last, but not least, I am also very obsessed with changing my header at least four times a week. This has dramatically improved my photoshop skills. But the most fun part is playing with all the color combinations. Marlboro Man told me if he ever sees his face on my blog, I'm in big trouble! I think I'm in big big trouble. He is somewhere in here a lot! When I figure out how to put a password on here, I won't have any worries now will I?

I'm also improving my relationship with God, and finding that the power of prayer is pretty awesome. I pray that Marlboro Man won't catch on to what I'm doing ... and while I'm praying, I make sure that I ask God to make me famous and send some hits my way! I am praying way more than I ever used to, which is a good thing.

Please God, just let someone that has a big blog with lots of readers add me to the favorite list on their sidebar. Please just sky rocket my numbers because it's so exciting to know that someone is out there just waiting for my next post. I have to ask that you please help keep me humble, and please forgive me for using Sam and the potty so that I can check my blog. But mainly God, I am begging you, please don't let Marlboro Man know that I have this addiction, he'll put me in rehab and I'll miss my blog something terribly!

I'm also begging every reader to please hit your refresh button at least 23 times before you leave this blog and please leave a comment letting me know how many times you refreshed the page. I am keeping track! It's important you know! And, if you have a blog yourself .... please let me know if you want me to keep refreshing your blog so you can watch your numbers go up and your meter spin! All requests will be kept confidential! I promise!

... and as always, be blessed!