Verizon ... Way Back When

I was reminiscing today as I was driving, about when I was growing up, and how times have changed so much. When you say forty years ago, that's a long time ago. But on that time line of life ... it's just a drop in the bucket. On the other hand, on the technology end of it ... forty years ago was cave man times.

As I looked down at my cell phone, I thought about gadgets. I chuckled as I remembered when I got my first cell phone. You talk about cool. I was so cool. I had the latest and greatest phone in the world. That baby rocked. It only weighed 4 pounds, had push buttons, and got a great signal as long I was no where near a tree . I would wrap the plug in cord around the black bag it came in several times, sling it over my shoulder and talk away. I was mobile. .... and I had 100 minutes to use as I pleased. .... and that was only ten years ago!

Now I have a sleek little all metal phone, that fits in the palm of my hand, that does everything I'd ever want it to. The only thing it doesn't have, is a built in ATM machine, and I'm needing a built in ATM machine. I'm collaborating with Verizon as we speak, to remedy that problem.

What prompted this new venture I'm on, is that dear dear husband of mine, Marlboro Man. He saw my cell phone bill. He actually saw my cell phone bill. Then he picked it up, and he had the audacity to thumb through the pages. All the pages. Then he sat down at the table with a ink pen. Being that I'm so quick thinking, I knew I had to divert his attention. So I said, "Hey Honey ... you ah ah ah got a few minutes?" He ignored me. He rolled his eyeballs up at me, raised his eyebrows and twitched his head a little bit. Then I got the look. T.H.E. Look! The one that says, "you're in trouble Tan." That look.

I can actually say that I have never in the fifty years of my life, actually or physically, seen steam come from some one's ears. I thought something was up when his hair kinked up and heat radiated from his body, his eyes turned red and little curls of steam started drifting upward. I was totally amazed at the sound he emitted. His ears actually whistled from the pressure! I jumped four feet backwards and covered my ears!

But I stood my ground. I just stood there and stared at him like a lovestruck puppy. I shook my head just a little bit, kind of like a twitch, just so he'd know I was really listening to him. I raised my eyebrows a few times and then sucked in some air, so he'd know I was concerned too. Then as he waved the pages in my face, I said, "how did that happen?" THAT was the wrong thing to say! I should have said, "Ouch!" or "are you serious?" or "wow ... Verizon never gets anything right do they?" Anything, except, "how did that happen?"

What he didn't say was beans for brains!

He wanted to know who was in Oklahoma. I had to explain that was my new pretend friend Okie Nana. We chatted a long time about everything. I told him she is really cool and has really cute grand kids, and I loved talking to her.

Then he wanted to know who is in North Carolina. Well, that would be Bubbles. She's awesome. Me and her are "buds." She is going to have a new grand baby boy in a couple of months.

Then he rattled off a whole list of city's and states. Seattle, Dallas, Fort Lauderdale, Chicago, Idaho, Atlanta, New Mexico, Corpus Christi, etc... (good thing he didn't have a map and some push pins)

I moved a little closer to him so I could reach my cell phone. I leaned over his shoulder and said, "ummm you smell so good" ... and reached around with my other hand and slid my phone into my pocket before it would disappear off the face of the earth .... forever.

I really don't know why he was in such a tizzy .... I didn't go over my 4000 minute plan. Not one minute over. I had raised my plan so I couldn't possible do that and cost us a small fortune. I am smart like that.

I love modern technology ... and I love Marlboro Man too!

Be Blessed Everyone!