Driving School?

My kids told me yesterday evening that I need to go to driving school. They heard that from the man that pulled me out of a ditch twice in three days. That man just might could have been their Father ....

This evening we took the scenic route home from daycare. The one that takes us up and down the winding roads around our farm. The one that we sight-see on all the time. The one that houses the barns and cows that we talk to every evening ... and the road that had seventeen deer standing by it this evening. The road that I happen to live on. Did I mention that I was within sight of my house? Oh, so close ... and yet so far when you're stuck in a mud filled ditch.

We had gone up and down the road twice, then decided to drive over to the milk house (the place where Marlboro Man hangs out with all his women cows). Of course, once there, the kids ditched (no pun intended) me to ride home in the pick up truck with their Daddy.

I was just a bit in front of them, just inching along, watching the deer in the field, and watching the cows run up to the fence as we drove by ... and I was talking to Meg on the phone who was right behind me in the truck. Talking to cows is a very big thing when you live on a Dairy farm and you have three year old triplets. It makes for fabulous meal conversation when trying to get them to eat!

Suddenly .... I couldn't go anymore. I think I might have been stuck. Surely not me! In the mud and sucked down tight. On the narrow country road that is only a few inches wider than a car. My first hint was that I was tilted and leaning, and the cows seemed a little bit too close. I looked in my rear view mirror and Marlboro Man was close enough behind me that I could see the look on his face. You just wouldn't believe it ... so I won't go there! I can tell you that I heard him mutter and cuss through the phone that Meg was still holding .... shame on him! Then I laughed ... and he didn't! So I stuck my tongue out at him. ... and he didn't. Sometimes I feel real sorry for him for having to put up with me, but most of the time ... I think he loves me.

Out he gets with all three kids and hooks a chain onto my van and his truck. Gotta love those farmers and their pick-up trucks. Of course, the kids were so intrigued and asking a million questions, and were just loving it. Marlboro Man tends to clam up tight when he's mad. I think I made him clam up real tight. I'm not sure when, but I figured out real quick that he wasn't talking to me. Not even when I ask if I could run home and get my camera first.

So he proceeded to attempt .... did you get that? Attempt. It wasn't working ... so I put the brakes on and called him on the cell phone and ask the question of the day, "Hey Von!, I said. Am I supposed to put it in neutral or reverse? ... and should I give it some gas?" All I heard was, "You gotta be kidding .... are you serious?" You betcha buster! I wouldn't have ask if I knew what to do! This country girl don't do ditches often!

I could have just walked on home and left the van there ... instead I sucked it up and took it like a man. After a few spins and lots of mud slinging ... I was free! I'm asking for 4-wheel drive next Christmas.

Oh, .... about the cows. They were on his side! The uppity Heifers!

Be Blessed Everyone.



I think what got his goat ... was three days ago I was driving home after dark and backed off in a eight foot deep ditch. My rear end (not my butt) was suspended in the air, and only one back tire was barely on dirt, and my headlights were slightly pointing towards the sky. It could have slid at any moment and I could have rolled end over end. Of course the kids were terrified, and the policeman helped me get the kids out. Marlboro Man and his brother came to my rescue. Would you believe that they placed boards from underneath my van and when Don pulled the front end down ... MM drove it right out. ... and to think the police said I needed two tow trucks to lift it out! Two days prior, that same ditch was flooded and running over!

Sam had gotten out of his car seat and was standing up in it. I was coming up on a stop sign going forty and knew I couldn't stop ... so I whizzed right on through the stop sign and slowly came to a stop. I had to back out on the main road and Wham-Bam .... down I went. This country living is getting the best of me I tell you!