Thursday, March 6, 2008

Hand in Hand

I felt the need to have a little one on one with my child, and a special little boy named Jay spent some time with me this evening.

We got Sam and Meg to go upstairs to watch TV, so that Jay and I could leave without them crying to go with us. They'll get their turn, but tonight it was Jay's turn.

He was so excited and put his coat on by himself. He stood at the door and ask me if I was ready to go. Then he reached out his hand and slipped his into mine.

His little hand was so warm and so small, and I was so aware of his fingers wrapped tightly around mine. We walked side by side down the narrow sidewalk with our arms swinging in the night air. As I looked down at the top of his little head, it just amazed me how tall he is getting and how grown up he must feel tonight. It was just me and him. He was looking up at me and talking as we walked to the car, and he was totally oblivious to where we were going. Just happy to be going.

We weren't going anywhere special. Only for a short drive just so we could talk. Just me and him, by ourselves, just for the pure joy of his company. Company that I was needing tonight. Him.

I ask Jay what he learned at school today, and he sighed and said, "I didn't learn nothing ... I just colored." ... and that made me smile. I ask him if he learned his ABC's or counted his numbers, and he rubbed his little head and said to me, "I already know them all." In the dark, quietly to myself, I smiled even bigger. He melts my heart.

We only drove for a short distance and our little mission was accomplished. As I pulled back into the drive, I heard Jay yawning and ask him if he was ready to go home, and ready to go to bed, and he said in the most grown up of voices, "Mommy, you forgot to bring my Jammie's with you."

I unbuckled him from his car seat and ask him if he wanted me to carry him in the house, and he said to me, "I'm very big, I can walk now", then he sweetly said, "Mommy, will you hold my hand?"

I reached down and took his little hand in mine and we walked up the sidewalk together .... side by side. I was so aware of how small his hand was, and how warm, and just how good his hand felt in mine.

Someday, his hand will be bigger than mine and he'll lead me up and down that sidewalk ...

Be Blessed Everyone.