Jay ... What Can I Say!

This kid .. the kid that never wants his picture taken begged this evening.  Then when he popped up on the rock, he said, "Sooo ... if I sit here and let you take my picture, do I get a treat?  If I smile and let you do it five times, do I get five treats?"  (that means five clicks .. and only five clicks ... he has good ears)

So I said, "Well ... if you go put on some different clothes and let me take your picture the way I want to, I'll let you have five treats."  (that means five little bitty pieces of candy)

Then he said, "Oh forget it Mom ... you're just not worth it!"  Then off he hopped and ran off to his world of Camo, farming and a dog named Gus!  (that means he'll sneak in the house and get the candy anyway)

So .. I'M NOT WORTH IT?!!

Dear Meg - You Lost a Tooth!

Dear Meg,

You lost your tooth this evening.  The very first one to come out was the first one that came in back when you were a baby.  A simple tooth shouldn't make me so emotional .. but it does.  It makes me stop and think about how you are growing up so fast, and right before my eyes.  I love having you little.  Simply.

You were at Aunt Bonnie's this evening when this major event happened.  I missed it.  But when you came home, you were so excited and told me every detail over and over ... then you went on to tell me exactly how the tooth fairy comes and brings you a dollar.  You brushed your teeth so good and checked them to make sure they were shiny so she could look in your mouth, and see the little hole, so she would know it was really your tooth.  I love your reasoning ... just as much as I love you.  You always figure it out.

So in the morning when you wake up ... under your pillow along with a gold dollar coin will be a letter to you.  A love letter from me written on the pretty stationery that I bought in anticipation of this day.  Forever long as I live, in many years to come, I hope, you will see this little tooth again, and only then can you read the letters that you'll have from me .. along with each little tooth wrapped in gauze and placed inside the envelope.  Timed and dated with a rundown of your day today!

Yes, I'm overly sentimental ... and yes, your little tooth is not the first little tooth that I have saved, and your letter is not the first one that I've written over something as silly as a little white tooth.  I have a whole packet of little teeth just like yours ... saved from over twenty years earlier of the little teeth Josh, Juli, Joey and Jared had lost when they were little.

Happy Dreams Meggie!  I love your new smile!

Love,   Mom

Mom - I Love You in Heaven Now

If you look close ... you can see that there is an Oak Tree growing.  It wasn't here this morning, but this evening when I checked it, it had sprouted and I can already see the beginning of it's branches where the bud is splitting.

Last week, it was only an acorn that I planted.  I love this little tree and it means so much to me.  My friends at work bought it in memory of my Mother who passed away almost two weeks ago.  It's as if I have something more than just her memory to hang onto.

They didn't know my Mom, but it was very special to me that they chose an Oak tree because my Mother was a very strong person.  She never bent, nor broke, and she endured so much when we were kids.  She gave so much, and took so little, and I never realized that until I lost her.  She gave to us when she was hungry, and she did without so that we would have.  She loved us more than life, and that too I didn't realize until she was gone. 

As I've sat here and looked at her picture above me, I've realized so much that I wish I could go back and change.  I would have visited more often, and I would have called her more than once a day.  I would have spent more time with her ... but as her child, it never occurred to me that my Mom would die. I loved her, and she loved me ... and for fifty-three years we both knew that.

On Mother's Day this year, I knew that it would be the last one I would spend with her here on Earth.  She was ready to go ... so willingly, but I wasn't so willing to let her go.  She told us that she was at the gate in Heaven, and she told us that Jesus was there and so was her Mother ... and she wanted to go, and my heart just broke.  When you truly love someone maturely, you love them enough to let them go.  I know that my Mom is in Heaven, and I know that she is in a better place, but I can't get past this pain I feel.

Her visitation was on my Birthday, and I waited all day for her to call me.  Most years she called before the sun came up and wished me Happy Birthday, and every year that I can remember she told me the exact time that I was born, and how I changed her life.  I was her first child, and I was the one that gave her the name Mother.  She had just turned eighteen when I was born.  She told me over and over how she washed my diapers and they were snow white, and about the little apartment she and my Dad lived in while he was in the Army, and how when they came back home she was so happy.  I can still hear her voice telling me the story from many years of hearing it ... but what I would give if I could only hear her say it one more time.


For all of us that have lost our Mother's ... my heart aches for us.  I can't imagine that this hole in my heart will ever heal or that a day will go by that I won't feel so empty or so broken.  I can't imagine that the heaviness I feel will go away, or my need for my Mother becomes less.  Even though I'm grown, she was the one that I turned to to answer my questions or to help me, or for advice.  She taught me so much from the time I was little to now.  She healed my hurts right up until she left us.  I never knew how much I needed her until I lost her.

All the memories of the things Mom taught me suddenly became so much more ... it's all the little things that mattered the most.  My Mother was all about the little things in life, and my promise to her memory is to make sure that the little things in life are the things I'll build in my kids.  When my kids tell my story, I hope they tell it with the same love for me that I have for my Mom.

This little sprout of a tree will be here long after I'm already with her again, but in the meantime I'm going to water it and give it all the love it needs ... just like my Mom did for me.

I Love You Mom.

Graduation - The Littles - Chapter 15

Dear Littles,

I guess you're really not little anymore are you?  But to me, I guess you always will be.

You graduated a couple of weeks ago.  Although you will have several or many more graduations and milestones in your life, this one really was so important.  You see, it is the beginning of your life.  Your life outside of me.  Not your physical birth, but your birth into the world.  Your life away from me ... and you will go happily and you will see all the wonders of the world through your own eyes.  You will spread your wings and find the YOU that will emerge into citizens and you will leave your mark.  You will be going to Kindergarten in the Fall ... whether I'm ready or not, you are.

I molded you, and it is breaking my heart that I have to let you go.  Five years wasn't nearly long enough to prepare me for this.  Even though I've been through sending my children off to school before, this feels fresh, and I don't want to do it.

Because I want what is best for you, I do want you to grow up and be normal and make life long friends.  I want you to be smart and learn all that you can ... and I want you to make your mark.  I want it to be deep and strong and always be there.  I want your children to look back and know who you were and know that you were good people.

But for today ... I want you to be my babies, and I want to hug you up and smell you and close my eyes and remember you in all your innocence.

I Love You So Much!

Mom

T-Ball! Strike Three!

We have one more game left in this season ... and you guys are awesome.  We don't have to lead you out to the field this year, and we don't have to run the bases with you and hold your hands.  You're doing just fine being one fourth of the team.  You have got it going!

The best part of playing ball is the dirt right out beyond second base, right along with that free freezer pop at the end of the game!

Joey and Mariah - Graduation

 Dear Joey,

St. Louis Christian College - May 8th, 2010.  I can not even begin to say the words of how proud of you I am.  This was a long road for you, but one that I knew that you would finish.  It isn't about graduating from college or graduating as a Minister ... but what you are prepared to do with your life.

I think about your childhood and all the silly things you did ... and your teenage years when what you did wasn't so silly.  Then I think abut the man that you've become and what you yet have to experience, and how life isn't always going to be fair .. but mainly I know that you can handle anything because of who you are.  You are prepared.  For Life ... because of Faith, and for that I am so proud of you.

Not only are you wise in your choices, but who you chose will always be there for you.  You two build each other up and have so much wisdom for your young years.  I love you both so much .. and I am so honored that my Son and my Daughter in-law are both children of God, and are both now Ministers of God's Word.

How Blessed can a Mother be?!

The Farmer and Me

Living out here on this farm has NOT made me more of a country/farm person.  It should have ... after all, I've been here just a week over nine years.  But still, I lack that concept to check things out first before I cry wolf.  I act first and think later!

In fact, late this morning before I left home to go into town, I glanced out the kitchen window and saw a cow licking a newborn baby calf. Granted the cow was out in the next pasture field, beyond both the pond and barn, and halfway to the neighbors house.  It was waaayyy out there!

Just to make sure that I was seeing what I was seeing before I called the troops (the farmers) in, I put my expensive long lens on my camera and zoomed in.  Yes, I was looking through the kitchen window, but still, I know what I saw.

You see, the cows over on this end of the farm are pregnant cows, and they definitely have to leave before they give birth.  It's a big mistake on their part if they aren't checked into the birthing center half a mile down the road.  The facilities are better over there, and the birthing accommodations are to die for (just kidding).  Not that they're pampered more or anything, but they do keep the uppity milk cows in a tizzy.

SO, since I know I saw a baby laying in the field ... I called the farmer (my husband) and left him a detailed voice message.  "Von, there's a teenie tiny baby calf in the middle of the field and I'm afraid that the big cows are going to step on him.  Hurry and come get him ... and why didn't you guys move her over before she gave birth?!"

Then I went to work.  But I did look as I drove by ... and it dawned on me that the view from my kitchen window didn't take into fact the rolling hills down below our house ... or the fact that I what I saw was really the head of one the big cows in the herd laying there soaking up the sun just below the horizon of my view.

But I failed to call the farmer!  Then I forgot all about it.  BUT he didn't.  You see ... it's full swing farming season here in southern Indiana right now, and he's trying like heck to beat the rain that's moving in. He's not always in the best of mood when it's farming season, and he's not always that hunky dory guy that I love so much this time of year.  He's short.  He's short on time, and he's short on patience in April and May.  But overall, he's not too bad.

So a bit later in the day, I get a phone call from the guy.  Simply put:  "There's not a calf out there in that field Sherlock ... and just so that you know, the whole world is not flat!"

I don't think I'll ever actually get it about this farm life ... but I sure am trying!

Flowers from Heaven

Meg, 

This evening we went over to the farm, and as you ran out into the flowers you said, "Oh Mom, Look!  God made all these flowers just for me to blow."

I hope you'll always find the flowers in the weeds.  God made them just for you!

Love,   Mom

The Girls

Today was a good picture taking day.  The stinking boys went to the stinking farm with their Dad and Uncle Don, so it was it just us girls.

Kelcie and Megan neither one hesitate to seize the opportunity to have their picture taken.  It's a bit harder these days though because they have to pose, smile, fake it, swing it and hip it.  I have the hardest time catching any kind of natural smiles with them, and of course they're in it together! 

Then the "girliness" in them comes out.  Weeds!  You want me to walk through those weeds?!!!  Then the "itichiness" starts and we're pretty much done.  Once you itch ... it's over you know!

So these have to do.  It's my fix for the next couple of weeks until they're together again.

The Hot Tub

I'm not sure if we're having Spring or not ... or if we've just moved right on into Summer.  At any rate, it's beautiful outside in the evenings, and my littles are loving it.  This evening was no different and Von decided to till up some of the garden and let the kids start planting their seeds.  They planted Cucumbers and an assortment of other things.  We're hoping that like things got planted together and we won't have Carcumbers and Cumatoes and such when it comes time to harvest our garden.  My boys had enough sweat and dirt on them that if we'd planted them, they'd have sprouted and grown.

Being that a bath was definitely in order tonight, I thought I'd change things up from the usual shower that their Dad gives them and we'd sit in the Hot Tub together and talk about our garden. Just like we did in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago.

Just me and the kids ... and more bubbles than you can imagine.  Up to their chins and as hot as they could tolerate, they sat there, one in each corner ... and we played tootsies with each other while we talked about our garden and listed vegetables and fruits and what all they planted and what was yet to plant.  We talked about the sunshine and how it makes everything grow.  Then they talked about Heaven and how they could plant things that would grow so tall they could climb up.  They planted beautiful flowers and colorful vegetables and they grew so big that we couldn't lift them.  Then they leaned back their heads on the ledge and soaked up the conversation, and never once did they splash each other.  I couldn't help from watch them and listen to them as they talked amongst themselves and only occasionally did they include me in their garden plans.  I thought about how innocent kids are at the age of five and how easily they can be persuaded and how with imagination you can lead them.

Then it dawned on me that here I sit with my babies, totally immersed in water and bubbles, caught up in their childish plans in one of the most peaceful moments I've ever had with them.  It reminded me of my older kids, and the times when they were small and I'd take them on walks and adventures through a secret forest where the deer lived and played, and up hills and down mountains where the Indians lived.  How we turned coat hangers into bows and arrows, and how we quietly found magic flowers and sprinkled fairies in the air.  Then we'd tiptoe away so the magic wouldn't end.  How when you love someone, you can pretend and make memories that they'll never forget.

Then a knock on the door brought me back to reality and our time was up.  As the bubbles drained away, the Bath Tub appeared and our Hot Tub was gone ... for now.

The Bribe

This morning at 7:30 my kiddo's got in my bed and we snuggled and tickled and talked about "things."  Then I told them ... "Hey guys, who wants a dollar?"  Well of course they wanted a dollar, and they wanted to go to Rural King to spend it!  So I bribed them.  IF they get dressed right now and go outside and let me take some pictures before Church ... I'll give them a dollar!  We're into paper money now days .. so it's a real big deal to get a dollar.  Only thing is, they had to earn it ... and that meant wading through the wet weeds to get out to the barn.

Jay.  Money means the most to him.  He'll do anything for money.  He has three jars full and is starting on another jar.  Jay is a hoarder of money ... and it takes a lot for him to spend it.  He doesn't live by the rule of:  save a third, give a third to Jesus and spend a third.  He only wants to save all of it and spend ours or Sam's and Meg's money.  He's going to need to be deprogramed when he grows up.  He's a lot like his Father in that respect.

Sam.  He LOVES money.  It buys him everything.  He couldn't keep a penny if his life depended on it.  He's too much like me in that respect ... and he's going to need to be reprogrammed to save some of it.  He doesn't per say spend it on stuff, because we all know he can't drive to Target and do his thing ... but he loses it.  He moves it around from his backpack to his pants pockets, to burying it in the sandbox, then it finds it's way to Jay's jar.  It's miraculous how it gets there ... but it does. ... and you know the rule:  possession is everything in Jay's book.

Meg.  What's money?  She doesn't need it.  A dollar won't do her a bit of good because everything that she wants cost more than she is allowed to spend.  Walking the aisles with Meg is like the biggest guilt trip I've ever experienced.  She fingers and touches and strokes everything that is pink, and wants everything that is remotely girly.  ... and she hasn't learned the meaning of the word NO yet.  We're working on that.  Meg is bad at leaving her money lay around the house, and it too mysteriously disappears.

So today I got some pictures of them that I can print and frame ... and Jay got THREE DOLLARS and they all ended up with a really big bouncy ball to add to the collection out in the yard!  It was a WIN WIN situation for all of us!

Daddy-O!

Okay Folks ... I think we're in trouble here!

Yesterday evening when I picked the Little's up from daycare, there were three papers in their daily pile for me to look at, sign and return. They were consents for their preschool to give information to the school system since they will be heading off to Kindergarten in the Fall. It was for THE "Kindergarten Readiness Checklist." So it got me to thinking .... "Well, are they ready?"

So this morning as I was driving them to Preschool, I thought I would ask them a few questions, just to test the waters and see how much my kids knew.

ME: "Hey Guys ... do you know what town we live in?" They all practically jumped through the straps of their carseats with hands in the air yelling, "I DO ... I DO"

So I picked Jay to answer that question. He grinned all over himself and his chest swelled, and he blurted out the answer with the biggest smile! "We live in the Country." No Jay! What's the name of the town ... it starts with a "O" (thinking I would give him a hint).

Still swelled up and smiling, he says, "On a Farm." Oh man ... we're flunking that question big time! So I tell them .... Oakland City, Indiana and they repeat it over and over and I think WE HAVE got it!

ME: "What is your Dad's name?" Sam blurts out, "Daddy." No Sam ... HIS REAL NAME? So Sam thinks a minute and Meg has her hand in the air ready to answer for him, then Sam puffs up and his eyes are twinkling and he says, "It's Daddy-O!" Oh Man ... we have failed!

So I remind them ... it's Von Siekman, just like you are Sam Siekman, Jay Siekman and Meg Siekman. We're all Siekman's! So they repeat it over and over and over ... and I think WE HAVE got it now!

ME: "What number would you call if Mommy or Daddy was hurt and you needed to get help here?" It's Meg turn to answer, and boy is she ever ready to show her stuff! She sticks her chin up in the air and yells out, "9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20" She forgot the question and just kept right on counting!!!! So I tell them ... "Remember, it's 9-1-1. So they keep saying it over and over and over, and I know they have it now!

Kindergarten is right around the corner and we have some work to do! BECAUSE ... ready or not ... School, here we come!

Baseball Season - Kick Off 2010

This evening was our first T-Ball practice of the year. Actually last Wednesday was, but we were in St. Louis. So .. tonight it's official, the triplets played ball. Yes, our farm is sponsoring their team again this year ... so "The Siekman Dairy Farms" team is AKA "The Texas Rangers", and we're going to kick some butt this year!

I didn't have to drag them out there or promise things that I had no intention of following thru on (I only do that in emergency situations. Bad Mom, I know) They were excited and never looked back. It was a world of difference from last year when we had to hold their hands and run the bases with them in the beginning!

Jay was the best hitter tonight. He smacked that ball almost every time. Sam thinks he was the best of the triangle, and came in a close second. There is competition folks. It keeps it interesting, and I kind of like it that way.

Meg is girly, but she was excited and played 100% better at this practice than she did the whole last season. Dressed to kill with the big pink bow ... she hit the ball, ran the bases, checked her fingernail polish and made sure she didn't have any dirt on her shoes! Way to go Meg!

After the practice we ran by Aunt Bonnies/Uncle Don's on the way home so they could show them how good they could smack that ball off of the Tee! One more practice next Tuesday evening and then we're going head on to the big league!

We'll keep you posted as the season progresses!

Joey - Senior Chapel

Monday night Juli and I along with the kids drove to St. Louis so we would be there bright and early Tuesday morning for Joey's Senior Chapel. He graduates May 8th as a Minister, and this was his time to lead the church services at the college. That is my son that stood at the pulpit and preached words that will change peoples lives.

I was there when he first started college, and I was there at one of his first sermon's. This time was so different for me. As his Mother, of course I was proud, but as one of God's people, I heard his message loud and clear. I have replayed it about ten times on my computer, just to hear his voice, and just to help myself come to grip with the fact that this man is my son. His message was strong, respectful and full of truth.

This is the kid that had no sense of direction when he was a teenager. He couldn't drive across town and find the gas station. Wrongly, I helped him way too much with his homework and I made his life easy. Now he's found his way and all the hard work he's done has paid off.

Along the way he grew beyond what I had imagined. His faith is strong. He chose his path. He got married, and now he has a plan. Joey and Mariah are a good team. She believes in my son, and I love her for that. They both graduate from college in a few weeks. I am so proud of both of them.

Fair Share

This afternoon after Von went to milk cows, I settled the kids down with a new movie. I'm trying really hard to get them away from cartoons and more into movies that have a bit of meaning. So I picked the movie to buy today, and I bought it because it is Joey's all time favorite book. "Where the Red Fern Grows".

While Jay and Meg didn't get into the movie, and went to sleep instead .... Sam, on the other hand, didn't miss one single word of the entire movie. In fact, we watched it twice. Sam is deep. Deep in thought, and spiritually deep.

At the part of the movie when the Grandfather told Billy to think about his fair share and indicated that God would provide, Sam understood that. He perfectly explained it to me, and when it happened in the movie and God moved the wind to fall the tree .... Sam told me that God did it because Billy had done his fair share.

Today Sam developed a new trust in God, a new understanding and a new love of life.

He walked out onto the back porch where "Sammy" his old boxer sleeps most of the days now, and said to her, "Sammy Girl, I love you and you are my best friend, and I know God will always take care of you." He's wise. So wise for a five year little boy that loves God and his dog.

Sammy our boxer is really old ... and this winter she almost died. When Sam found her, it saved her life. She was half frozen, very sick and hurt. With a lot of tender loving care and medical attention Sammy survived. Every day Sam talks to her, rallies for her and pushes her on. He draws pictures for her and writes her letters and tapes them to the wall where she can see them. Every day.

I know the time is coming that Sammy is going to go to Dog Heaven, and my little Sammy is going to be devastated. I'll need that mythical Red Fern that only angels can plant when the time comes ... and I'll need to find a way to ease the heartache that my little guy is going to feel.

Sam is doing his fair share ... and the rest will be up to God.

My Velveteen Boy

My velveteen boy betrayed me this evening.

It was so pretty outside today when I picked the kids up, we dressed them in their bib overalls and "orange, so that I can see you a mile away" sweatshirts and sent them out to dig up the yard! That is Sam and Jay's favorite pastime ... especially in the Spring when the ground is so soft. There is nothing like holes and piles of dirt everywhere. Our yard shrieks that "boys live here" and you have to be careful when where you walk so that you don't fall in a hole.

My littlest boy is now big enough to go outside and play with the big kids, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He runs and romps and keeps up with everyone just fine. He is now ruler, and when he runs his ears pin back and flap in the wind. His fur is soft and he feels like fat velvet ... but this evening he went missing, and we searched everywhere thinking the very worst.

Then as I was walking back from the pond ... I spotted him alone in the barn. He was having the time of his life as his short little legs jumped in the wet straw. He was burrowing as deep as he could in the muck and he only stopped long enough to glance at me as I yelled .... "Gus, get out of there!" He was on a mission ... and that was to make sure that every inch of his body was covered in the black slime.

My sweet little velveteen boy has betrayed me ... he has found life beyond me. The same world that my little boys live for ... a world of dirt and mud, and slime and cow poop!

Bowling Baby Bowl!

Today I met up with my big kids ... yeah again. This is getting to be a habit. It really wasn't them I was caring about today ... but the cute little kids in the car seats was what had me going. We went bowling!
The reason I'm showing you the scoreboard is because I wanted you t see that the girls beat the boys. (I was on the boys team ... with all the boys). We had a lot of gutters.
I really don't think I've seen a bowling score like this ... Is 65 really that low? Next time me and the boys are going to nail Juli and the girls.
Here's Meg and Jay showing off their "gutterballs." It was neck and neck for a while .. but Jay's got there first!
In this corner is Jay and Sam. They have good technique don't you think? ... and by the way, don't let that picture fool you, they really didn't knock down all those pins. I did. (well .. maybe, Juli did) I can't remember because I was having too much fun "high-fiving" the kids and taking pictures.
They "high-fived" each other every gutterball they rolled!
They also got quite good at posing every single time they got up to bowl. We didn't do it the traditional way either. By all means, that wouldn't have been a good thing since we had so many rookies! We took turns. The kids got a turn .. went to the end of the line and we kept rotating!
Luke finally started getting pretty good at it. He had that bend over and put the ball between your legs and roll thing down pat. But of course, he had to pose with the ball first!
... and Kelcie, well she just had all the moves as well!

Today was a great day! We all went out to eat together and I got to spend it with those that I love the most. Josh and Jessie cheered us on while they kept an eye on Carter and Juli kept the balls rolling and the kids moving ... and me, well ... I just had fun with my babies!

In three weeks, we're going bowling again .. this time, Paige, Hayley and Cloe will get to be with us.

Gus!

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we had to put Katie our little Chihuahua to sleep.  It was a better place for her.  It broke my heart, and I still can't go out to the little grave in our backyard where Von buried her.  I feel so guilty, but in reality I know that she is out of pain and misery.

In the eight years plus, that we had Kate ... she was never really happy or healthy.  She was allergic to grass, her hair fell out, she had red, raw and irritated skin for months at a time, and she had one half of a tooth.  She wouldn't eat dog food, and she would dehydrate.  She weighed less than three pounds and looked emaciated.  I had to give her steroids shots, fluids under her skin and grind her food (hot dogs is all that she would eat).  I had to bathe her every other day and spray medicine on her body.  In the end, she lost control of her bowels, had diarrhea and would pee everywhere.  She was miserable, and hurting.  I kept her here longer than I should have because I was selfish ... and because I loved her.

THEN Christmas came, and I had puppy fever.  I thought it would heal my heart a bit ... and it did.  He did.  His name is Gus, and he's a real turd.  He has the energy of a steam engine and is shiny and fat and feels like velvet. He is marked like Katie, and that is probably what drew me to him ... that and the fact that Juli had just gotten a "Ty" just like him.  Not only did I just get a Gus ... I persuaded the cuteness onto Josh and Jessie.  They now have a chewing, biting and pooping "Snickers" for my Grandkids.  But OH what glorious pleasure I got out their faces on Christmas day!

Being that I'm kinda OCD and majorly impulsive, I made a decision to get a puppy for the kids ... against my husbands firm "NO."  I justified it that first of all ... all kids need and deserve to grow up with a puppy.  Secondly, I am my own woman and can think for myself.  I'm a grown working woman and can make my own decisions.  I've raised children and can make life and death decisions, and being that this is 2010, a husband certainly has no right to tell me NO.

Now on the other hand, I forgot that I'm old.  Having a puppy is like having a houseful of little kids, but even worse.  He chews us up with his long little snout and alligator teeth and doesn't have a clue what the word NO means.  He has short man syndrome.  He sleeps on my side of the bed and I hold him down and whisper in his ear how much I love him ... or he'll persistently howl until I pick him up.  He never crosses the middle line, at least while I'm awake.  He's not loved on the other side of the bed.

We are living back in the throes of baby gates again trying to keep him corralled.  My kids love him ... I love him ... but his Father is still mad at me, and most likely will be for the next 48 years.  He doesn't give in easy ... especially when he steps in puppy poop at 4:30AM.  When he does, I just hug Gus a bit tighter in bed and put my hands over his ears when I hear Von cuss.  I certainly don't want Gus to grow up thinking that he's not loved!

Valentine's Day 2010

Valentine's weekend, I had a wonderful little two day escape with my kids ... big and little and all of my Grandkids to a awesome indoor waterpark at French Lick, IN. They are my Valentine's .. and it was my gift to them. It was just a little funky to be inside a huge glassed in waterpark and watch it snow like crazy on the outside!

Nine kids and eight adults and we were still losing kids everywhere. But we found them all before it was time to head home. Given the fact that we were the only group with all the kids wearing life jackets in the baby pool, we knew they were relatively safe. Can you believe that I said that?

I let my older big kids talk me into going down a couple of water slides about 120 mph that sucked the breath out of me and shot me out like a cannon. Given the fact that I was and am still sore and rickety, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

This was our "first annual get-a-way. Joey and Mariah came from St. Louis, while Jared and Elissa drove up from Mississippi just to make me happy. I love them for that. Josh and Jessie and Juli have all the kids ... so for them we were on a great big wet playdate!

Mother's Day we have a date in Carbondale, IL at Castle Park ... then the end of June we're attempting a mountain cabin in Gatlinburg. Am I crazy? Crazy about my Kids!

Life ... Stop and Smell the Roses.

I know ... I've been MIA! I had to "stop and smell the roses." Otherwise, I had to catch up on life. My life.

I have so much to blog about that I can't even begin to put it all in one blog, but I've taken pictures, and wrote things down ... and now I'm ready to start uploading. Yes, I'll be backdating .. but this is my blog and so be it. So when you, that are on feeds, get posts dated from the past 6 weeks, it's just me playing catch up.

I've had Kelcie for the last 24 hours ... and mixed with my kiddo's, it was a wild twenty-four! When Juli came and picked her up this evening ... we did a little Mother/Daughter shoot, set up my Alien Bee's and a backdrop in the living room and got some great pictures!

What can I say .... I just love my girls!